


Sanctuary

by Parrillamillsqueen



Category: Onceuponatime - Fandom, outlawqueen - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Mystery, Outlawqueen - Freeform, Romance, Suspense, onceuponatime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 79,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25140295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrillamillsqueen/pseuds/Parrillamillsqueen
Relationships: OutlawQueen
Comments: 33
Kudos: 32





	1. 1

The moment Regina Mills set foot on the ranch; she knew this would be harder than she thought. Memories flooded her as she scanned the property. It hadn't changed much. The barn was repainted, the round pen looked as sturdy as it had eight years before. The pasture still held a dozen or so horses.

Jack Ross stood behind her looking like he hadn't aged. He was in his late fifties and still had those clear calm blue eyes that made her feel at ease. "Get a move on."

Turning, she grinned at him. "You don't change."

"Just because you're a grown woman don't mean I can't boss you." He picked up her bags from the bed of the truck. "Betty has dinner on."

Her heart filled when she thought of Betty, her surrogate mother. She followed him up the three steps to the front door. Inside it looked as it had years ago. The couches looked the same, a golden retriever still laid by the fire. "Molly, come."

Jack laughed, "That's not Molly. We lost her a year ago. This here is Ethel."

Regina extended her hand for a sniff and lick. The dog laid back down. In true fashion, Max bounded down the steps and jumped to give her a hug. Laughing, she pushed him down. "Max." She hugged and rubbed him down.

"Regina?" Betty came around the corner from the kitchen with an apron wrapped around her with sunflowers. That fit her well, she thought. "Oh, I've missed you, dear." She took Regina into her arms and held on.

"I missed you too. I meant to visit on our last pass through, but I didn't get the time off." She smiled, "What's cooking?"

Betty tapped her finger on her nose, "I made your favorite."

"Lasagna?"

"You bet. Go get cleaned up. I'll make tea."

Jack said, "I'll put your things in the cabin. We got it all fixed up for you."

"Thanks, Jack." He disappeared out the back door as she washed her hands.

Betty pulled the dish out of the oven and set it on the table. "Regina, I'm so glad you're here. And as promised, I'll keep your secret. But…"

Turning, Regina wrung her fingers together. "But?" Glancing around her, she saw the table was set for four. Her eyes shot to the ceiling when she heard footsteps above her head. Panic wrapped around her like a vine. "He's here?"

Betty put a hand on her shoulder for comfort, "I should've told you. It was selfish of me, but I wanted you here. He was living in town and seeing someone, but after she broke it off, well he moved back."

"Betty…"

"I know, dear. It's not ideal. He moved out of the cabin for you. He doesn't know, honey. But, he will. If you plan on bringing him here, he's going to find out."

"I…I wouldn't have come." She pulled at her skirt nervously. "We agreed that it was the best thing."

"At the time, but it's been long enough. He's ready now."

"He'll hate me." She chewed on her lip when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Her back stiffened.

When he walked into the kitchen, his face lit with a grin. "Regina." He surprised her by wrapping his arms around her and swinging her in a circle. Feeling foolish she tried to find her footing when he set her down. He grinned down at her, "You're not a scrawny girl anymore. You're gorgeous."

Guilt clawed its way into her gut. His arms were still wrapped around her. "Gee, thanks. You're as charismatic as ever. Let me loose." She shoved at his shoulders that had filled in nicely. He was a wall of muscle and it made her stomach flutter.

His hair was shorter than she remembered, his green eyes were as direct, and he was taller. He stepped back, "God, what's it been? Three years?" He scanned down her body with his eyes assessing. She wanted to squirm.

"Has it?" Nerves danced under her skin.

Betty interrupted, "Sit down."

Jack walked in, took off his Stetson, and put it under his chair. "You're all set up."

"Thanks, Jack."

Betty sat and turned to Robin, "Say grace."

Robin took her hand and squeezed once before reciting the dinner prayer. Then, he held on a moment too long before releasing her.

It was just how he is, she told herself. He was friendly, flirty, and touchy. It was him. She glanced up and his eyes were locked on hers. "So, Regina. Tell us what you've been up to." He sent her a lopsided smile.

Taking a bite, she stalled. "I used to work with my mother."

"Doing what?"

"I was her campaign manager and now I'm a lawyer." She smiled tightly.

Robin's eyes met hers. That direct stare made her stomach flip. "You're a lawyer?"

"Yes."

"Regina is a fine lawyer. She's got herself a reputation back home. Don't you dear?"

She turned and smiled, "I do okay."

Jack shook his head, "Still as humble as I remember. You worked hard."

"Yes, I did," she grinned at him. "Thanks to you."

"We didn't do anything," he defended.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to go to school. You did plenty," she said taking another bite. To change the focus from her, she asked him, "You?"

"I started training. I train jumpers, breed the horses, and I help out at Gulliver's when they need me." He shoved food into his mouth.

"How is Judy and Gulliver?" Satisfied that he was willing to fill her in with what she missed; she enjoyed the conversation.

Throughout dinner, she found that Judy and Gulliver have three rambunctious boys. Robin talked about them as if he knew them intimately and it gave her stomach the jitters.

Ross Ranch had expanded to include a breeding outfit, jumper training, and trail rides. Robin seemed to have spent his life exactly as he'd planned. He'd always wanted to work with horses. He got his wish.

Regina felt a wave of envy for the life he's led. As he went on about the breeding program, she thought of what Betty had told her. He'd had a string of women chasing after him and hooked a woman. They dated off and on for a few years, but she left him for a businessman and moved to Boston.

She wondered if he'd been heartbroken over it, but Betty had assured her that Robin was a closed book on his emotions. That hadn't changed. It was always hard to read him. She tried to ignore the growing ache in her belly and her heart to know that she'd spent years running from her own.

After dinner, she settled in the cabin and unpacked her bags. The closet had been emptied out; the bathroom held a few used bottles of shampoo. They'd bought new bedding and started a fire in the living room. The one-bedroom cabin was small but cozy. It provided enough room for her.

Sitting on the love seat snuggled in front of a flat-screen, she noted a video game console. She dialed her friend Maggie's number and waited to hear her voice. "Regina?"

"Hi."

"How's it going? Did you get all settled in?"

"I did. Maggie, this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come here." She rested her head on the couch and looked up at the ceiling.

"Why?"

"Robin is here."

"What? I thought you said he lived in the city?"

"I thought he did. He moved back a few months ago. Betty didn't tell me because she thinks I should tell him about Roland." She closed her eyes. "I can't do that."

"It's been seven years, Regina. Don't you think he deserves to know that he has a son? Roland deserves to know who his father is."

She felt tension fill her muscles, "He'll hate me."

"Why? Because you didn't tell him? He was immature and you didn't part on the best of terms if you recall."

Regina sat up. "Because he asked me to marry him and I told him he was crazy."

"I know, you told me a million times. You were eighteen. Young and stupid. Regina, you would have been ready, but you told me he wasn't. What about now? It's been eight years."

"I know."

"How does he look?" Maggie's voice was teasing.

Before she could answer a knock sounded on the door. "Maggie, I have to go. Kiss Roland for me."

Tightening the robe around her, she opened the door. "Hi."

"You get settled in?" He glanced behind her.

"Yea, thanks. Betty said you moved to the house."

He leaned against the door frame. "I figured you could use the privacy."

Feeling awkward, she nodded. "I appreciate it."

He scratched the back of his neck, "Listen, I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"

Glancing behind her, she opened the door for him to walk in. "Sure." He sat on the love seat next to her. "What's up?"

He scooted closer and put an arm around the back of the sofa. It created an intimacy she didn't want. "I hope me being here isn't gonna be a problem."

"Why would it?" The lie stung her tongue.

"You're uneasy around me." His fingers touched the end of her hair. Her hair was dark and rested just below her chin. "We used to be friends."

She swallowed. "Friends would be putting it mildly."

"We were just kids, Regina. I made mistakes, scared you off. I was a stupid kid." His finger traced lightly along her jaw. "I'm sorry."

"It's the past," she said through a tight throat. "I'm assuming you've grown up some."

He laughed. "I hope so. You look good." It eased her that he didn't say it to tease. It was an honest observation.

"You too. It's amazing what you've created here."

"Thanks. It's coming along. I've got some irons in the fire to expand in the next five years. I don't want to put a financial strain on the ranch, so we'll see how it goes. Play it by ear." His finger was still tracing her jaw. Why was it so easy for him to touch? He'd never been shy about it. "I hear you made a name for yourself."

"I guess. I've had ups and downs in my career. I worked for my mother for a bit. It didn't work out."

He laughed. "I wouldn't imagine it would be easy working for her." He dropped his hand and took her hand. His fingers lightly traced along her hand, the inside of her wrist.

"No, but it was alright while it lasted. I gained experience and I joined a firm. There's some trouble with a client. It's why I'm here. I needed to get away. Get some R&R." She scratched her hand where his fingers traced.

"You alright?" He squeezed her hand and looked at her with concern.

"I will be," she smiled. "I'll be for a little while. I hope that won't cramp your style."

His brow rose, "My style?"

"You work here. Live here. I won't invade your space."

"Regina," he took her shoulder in his hand. "You sure you're alright? You're shaking."

Taking a deep breath, she lied, "I'm fine. Just tired."

His eyes assessed her before he stood, "Alright. I should let you get some sleep." He walked to the door and turned. "Want to take a ride with me tomorrow morning?"

Feeling at ease, she smiled, "Sure."

He opened the door, "I'll see you in the morning."

She wrapped her arms around her middle. "Early?"

"You bet. I'll come get you," he promised.

"Night."

He surprised her by taking her chin in his hand and lowering his mouth to hers in a quick kiss. "I missed you. Good night."

When he walked toward the house, she closed the door and leaned her back against it. Closing her eyes, she let a tear fall down her cheek. She was stupid to think that her feelings for him had disappeared. Feeling hollow, she climbed into bed and hoped sleep would drag her under.

* * *

Robin checked on the horses and walked until he felt his pulse change from impossibly erratic to calm. He knew she was coming. He'd known for weeks. If Marcy hadn't broken things off, he'd have done it. Regina had been the woman he wanted.

The woman he'd spent summers with and shared stolen kisses. The first woman he'd become a man with. Looking at her now, a grown woman, it was too much.

He remembered her all those summers ago. She was skinny, shy, and pretty. The woman he saw tonight was curvy, guarded, and gorgeous. He hadn't meant to go to her. Not tonight. But he knew that if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to sleep.

Pent up, he turned into the barn and walked down to the last stall. He looked over the stall door at a new bay he bought. His nose was white, his feet to match. He was a beauty. It was only a matter of time before he'd be ready to breed.

He reached out and offered an apple. The horse stood staring at him, measuring him up. Then, with tentative steps, he turned and took the offered treat. Robin reached out and rubbed his neck. "That's a boy."

He felt himself calming from sitting in the cabin with her. The last time they'd been in the cabin together, he'd been a boy. A boy wanting things he had no business asking for. They'd lost their innocence together and he'd stupidly asked her to marry him. Still naked and wrapped around her.

He remembered her eyes widening with shock. She'd told him he was crazy, and he'd tried to play it off. But she'd been the only woman he'd ever loved. He'd planned out his life with her by his side that last summer. She'd be going to college and he thought he'd expand the ranch.

He planned to build a home for them, create a life. Then, she'd said she was leaving. Going to school and they'd fought. He tried to tell her he was serious. That he loved her. But she'd looked at him with young eyes and he knew she'd leave.

They wrote to each other off and on a few years after. Mostly cards for their birthdays and Christmas. Then, they'd stopped contact. Was it his fault? He couldn't say. It happened gradually. Then a few years ago, he'd run into her at a rodeo. They hadn't had time to hang out, she was there with friends.

He walked out into the air and took a deep breath. She was here and he wasn't sure what to do about it. Touching her even casually had turned his skin on fire. The impulsive kiss he'd give her was for selfish reasons. He'd shot out of there as quickly as he could before he could do something stupid, like kiss her again.

She was in trouble, he knew it. There was something in her eyes when he'd asked if she was alright. Maybe she thought years between them would stop him from being able to read her. It didn't.

If anything, he could read her now more than he could when they were kids. She was scared and nervous. He figured the nerves were because they hadn't seen each other in years. There was something haunted behind those dark brown eyes.

He intended to find out.

Inside the house, Jack was sitting in his chair with a book in hand. "Rob."

He stopped before he could ascend the stairs. "Yes, sir?"

"Sit down." He did as he was told. "I see where your mind is going."

"Dad…"

"Listen to me, Rob." He met his father's eyes. "Don't go down that road again. It messed you up."

He swallowed. "I know."

"She's got some trouble, needs some space. You'll give it to her. You hear me?"

"I'm not gonna hurt her." Not again.

"Maybe not. But you'll risk your heart? Again?"

"Why are you asking me this? She's been here one night."

"I know you, Rob. You've been in love with that girl for over a decade. She's not yours."

He clenched his jaw. "I know that. Don't you think I know that?"

Jack sighed, "I'm sorry, son. I know you have feelings for her. Deep feelings. I don't want to see you go down that road again. It took enough of you then. Be friendly, give her some lessons."

"I'm a grown man, I know how to treat a woman. Even a friend."

"Not when it comes to Regina. You've got blinders on."

He shoved up from his seat. "Mind your own business."

Jack stood, "You are my business. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

He relaxed his tense shoulders. His father rarely said those words to him, but he knew he was loved. His father showed him every day. "I've been in love with her since I was fifteen. Those feelings don't just go away. I thought they had. Out of sight, out of mind."

"But?"

He met his father's eyes, "Seeing her." He shrugged. His heart squeezed. "It all came back."

Jack nodded slowly. "Just remember you've grown in nearly a decade. You both have different lives. Different goals. She's not the little girl you got naked within the cabin."

"You knew about that?"

Jack laughed, "I know everything that happens on this ranch."

"Geez," Robin rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Rob. Be careful."

"Why?" Something in his father's eyes matched the look in Regina's. "Why don't you want me to…"

"It's not that I don't want you to be with her. She's a fine woman and I'm right proud of her. Life is complicated. That's all I'm going to say about it."

Robin went up the steps and laid in bed thinking about the look in Regina's eyes and his father's words.


	2. 2

The rooster crowed outside of the window followed by the clucking of chickens being chased by one of the dogs. High pitched barking woke Regina instantly. Being a mother, you never quite sleep deeply when you have young children. Glancing at the clock, she sighed and slumped down onto her back.

The last time she woke at five in the morning was when Roland was teething as a toddler. Deciding sleep wasn't going to come, she showered and dressed in jeans and a button-up flannel shirt. Her old boots fit alright but it would take some getting used to again.

She stared at herself in the mirror. With a mental debate on whether she should wear makeup, she decided it wasn't necessary. She tried to see the girl she'd been before. Her face was more filled out, her eyes were wiser. The woman replaced the girl.

Her body had changed after having Roland. She'd been thin and lean before she'd gained hips and extra pounds, she'd been too busy to work off. It would have to do. As she dialed Maggie, she heard movement outside of her window.

Glancing outside the curtain, she saw Robin feeding the chickens. Maggie answered on the fourth ring, "Hello?" The grogginess made her smile.

"It's me."

"Regina? What time is it?"

"It's almost five-thirty. I wanted to talk to Roland before I started my day."

A groan and shuffling came over the line. "You better not be a pain in the ass every morning. You may be on a ranch, but we aren't."

Roland's sleepy voice filled her heart, "Mama?"

"Hi, baby. I miss you."

"Me too. When can I see you?"

A pang of hurt filled her belly, "Soon, my love. You be good and listen to your aunt Maggie. Okay?"

"I will."

"Okay, you go back to sleep now. I'll call you tonight."

"Where are you?"

"I'm with an old friend, honey. I'll tell you about them later."

Roland yawned, "I'm sleepy."

"I know, baby. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Maggie's grumpy voice came over the line. "I'm giving you a pass this morning, but I reserve the right to ask that you call after seven. Deal?"

"Alright, grumpy. Where's David?"

"Asleep. Which is what I'm about to get back to." Her voice changed, "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I think so. I'll call tonight."

"Try to relax, you deserve it."

"Maybe."

When Maggie hung up, she glanced out to see Robin had moved on from the chickens. The dogs were happily eating out of stainless-steel bowls and the chickens were pecking the ground.

Giving herself some time to prepare to meet the day, she sat on the couch and closed her eyes.

* * *

Robin was on edge, he'd barely slept, and his father's words were etched inside of him. He'd deduced overnight that she was obviously in some trouble or she wouldn't have come to the ranch. They'd barely seen her in years. Her visit wasn't planned it was sprung up in a matter of weeks.

It didn't sit well with him. That look in her eye was eating at his gut. It angered him that he was drawn into her so easily. He had his life; he had his work. He admitted to himself that Marcy had gotten him all twisted up. He thought they had a good thing going.

His ego and heart were bruised. As he entered the barn, Tucker was already starting to lead the horses out to pasture. "Morning."

Tucker turned, "Hey. You working with Dante today?" He led a yellow mare out of a stall.

"Yea, but I'm taking Regina for a ride around the property first. You can put him in the round pen."

Tucker asked, "What's the deal with her?"

He wasn't sure so he said, "She used to spend summers here when we were kids."

The good thing about Tucker was he didn't pry. He shrugged and went on out of the barn with the yellow mare.

Robin picked up a shovel and started mucking out. He figured he'd give her a good hour before he'd be calm enough to go to her. When the horses were out in the pasture and the stalls were mucked and lain with fresh hay, he walked into his office.

The empty stall on the west side of the barn had been designed for him. He'd laid concrete on the ground, added a desk and a computer, had to wrestle with the internet company to get access to the web, and he'd added a few filing cabinets.

Pulling up the week's schedule, he picked up the phone to call Yvonne, his assistant trainer. "Hey."

"Hey, you wanna go over the schedule for the week?" He thumbed through his notebook.

"Hit me," she said.

"I've got two trail rides booked, an appaloosa in need of a jumping schedule, and the West's want to breed their mare to one ours."

Yvonne said, "I can fit that in, but I've been making some noise with Jack to start that disability riders' program. Have you changed your mind?"

Robin closed his eyes, "It's a good idea, Yvonne. It just isn't in the finances to start it yet. Give it another year and we'd be well-equipped. Gulliver is happy to hire you on part-time until we can manage it."

"I know, but I don't work for Gulliver, I work for you. Jack has told me he thinks it would be profitable and raise your standings with the mayor."

"It will when we can avoid going under. I've looked at the finances, I've met with Jerry and gone over the books. It'll put us back in the red if we do it now. Give it time, please." Rob didn't say please very often.

"Fine. You win, but I think we can do it. Let me shift some stuff around and I'll get back to you."

"You do that."

He scheduled the trail rides on his calendar, pushed the appaloosa on to Yvonne's, and made a note to call the West's. He walked out to the round pen to get a look at Dante. He was black with white feet and as wild as they come. He'd bought him at auction on a whim.

The horse needing breaking and a serious attitude adjustment. He stood in the center of the pen with eyes locked on him. Robin opened the gate and walked in. He stood staring at the horse. When he took a step forward, the horse reared up, kicked the ground, and bobbed his head.

Not backing down, he walked to the horse and attempted to rub his neck. When his hand landed on his mane, the horse abruptly lifted a hoof and narrowly missed kicking Rob in the chest. He snagged his shoulder causing him to stumble back.

Cursing, he left the round pen holding his shoulder. The horse began running around the pen, trying hit's hardest to find a way out. Tucker came running, "Hey, you okay? He get you?"

"Not much," he said. Tucker gave his shoulder the once over. He had medical training which was a big plus upon hiring him.

"It looks alright, but it'll hurt like a bitch for a while. You should ice it."

"Later." He walked off in a steam of temper. When he arrived at the cabin, he banged on the door a little louder than was necessary.

Regina opened the door and his stomach tightened. He clenched his jaw at his attraction to her. She looked fresh and well-rested. The jeans she wore left her curves open for him to admire. Annoyed, he asked, "You ready to ride?"

"Sure. What happened?" She pointed at his arm.

"Got kicked," he said still holding his shoulder.

Her eyes widened, "Kicked?"

"It's nothing. Come on, I'll show you around." He was irritated, tired, and thanks to her in those damn jeans, horny. Great, just his day.

* * *

Regina followed behind him to the barn, he was holding his shoulder and looked like he was in some pain, but she knew to leave him to his brooding. He started giving her a tour.

"Last time you were here, we had an outfit to fit a dozen or so horses in here." He pointed to the one side. "We've added another dozen stalls on this wall. I designed that one for my office."

She stopped at the entrance to see. It looked big enough and had all the gadgets and such that he'd need. On a ranch, she knew he barely stepped foot in here. It was so clean; she could eat off the floor. "Fancy."

"It does the trick," his lips twitched. "Over here we've added another tack room. I wanted to keep the trail riding and jumping equipment separate." He reached in and flipped the light on. She glanced around at the meticulous room.

"Who manages this room? You were never this clean," she said absently.

He laughed. "Tucker. He's around here somewhere and I've grown up some," he reminded her.

"Robin Ross grew out of being a filthy pig. Well, I didn't see that coming." She tried to hide the smirk and failed.

"That's enough out of you," he said. He turned off the light and shut the door. He led her outside of the barn leading to the round pen. "This is Dante," he said bitterly.

"He kicked you? He's just a baby," she said approaching the pen.

"He's a year old and you try getting kicked and see how you like it."

She glanced at him, "You're annoyed and a little pissed. Where did he come from?"

"I bought him at auction on impulse. I thought he'd make a good stud."

The horse was wild, she could see that. "Good luck with that."

He slanted her a look. Tucker came out with two horses all saddled up. "Tucker with is Regina. She'll be staying her for a bit."

She took his hand, "Nice to meet you, Tucker."

"Ma'am." He smiled.

"Oh, god. Please don't call me ma'am."

"I'll try my best. Got these horses ready for you."

"Thanks, Tuck." When he walked off, Robin turned to her. "You ready to get back on a horse?"

"Who says I haven't been riding?" She rose a brow in challenge. Truth was, she rode on the weekends when she got the chance. To shock him, she put her foot on the stirrup and mounted the horse with practiced skill.

The look on his face gave her satisfaction. "Come on, cowboy." It took him some effort and he favored his shoulder when getting on.

"Come on, I wanna show you something," he said seemingly more relaxed. They rode out on a trot past the round pen and down a dirt road. At the end of the road she could see a structure under construction. "We broke ground last month."

"On?"

"A new jumping ring. Right now, we use Gulliver's property for lessons. Yvonne, my trainer takes clients there."

"It looks like it's gonna be big and flashy," she smiled. "What other changes have been made?"

"Well," he scanned the property. "Not much. I take clients out on trail rides around the river. We've got enough bookings to keep money in the bank. We've had people asking for overnight trips, but I can't manage it just yet. I'll hire out when I can."

"It's just as I remembered," she said. "I picture Jack on the tractor in the field, your mama in the kitchen baking pies. Horses all over the place. You've made changes, done well for yourself. You should be proud."

"I am. I didn't do it alone. My dad is to thank for most of it. I went to night school, took some business and finance classes. Jerry, our accountant helps with all that. He's got us on a plan to succeed."

As the horses wandered at a walk, she asked, "You went to night school?"

He glanced at her embarrassed, "Yea, a few years ago. I needed to get a handle on some of the finances and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I met a woman who helped me through the class." She watched his face as he spoke. There was some hurt under his composure.

"The woman you were seeing?" His jaw clenched and he turned his green eyes away. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

"It's fine. Marcy was…well she had a different vision is all. It didn't work out. I see her sometimes when I meet with Jerry. Her fiancé."

"fiancé?"

"Yup." Irritated, he took off in a trot down toward the river and she followed knowing it was better to let the subject fall.

As they rode, she knew where he was headed. A patch of grass next to the water. They'd shared many intimate and fun times in that spot. Robin dismounted his horse, tied it to a post. He offered his hand and she took it sliding down to the ground. He took the horse and tied to next to his.

He took her hand and led her across the water on the stones that kept their feet dry. The patch of grass with wildflowers growing and an oak as old as the ranch looked the same. "You still come here?"

"I come here now and then," he said noncommittally. "It's been a while," he admitted.

They sat and leaned back against the bark of the tree. She tried to ignore the carvings where they'd put their initials within a heart. Her gut twisted to think of the last time they were here. "It smells and looks the same."

"I guess it does." He picked up grass and started to rip it up. It was his way of expelling his stress. "Why are you here, Regina?"

"To get away," she said honestly.

"From what?" He looked at her and held her gaze.

She looked away from his stare, it was a bad idea to get lost in those eyes. "I was working with a client," she began. "It was a typical case; I was due in court and he stopped me outside the courthouse." She shivered to remember the blackness in his eye. "I was the prosecution, I was going to testify against him. I shouldn't have been speaking to him."

He took her hand, "You're shaking." His voice was quiet.

Instinctually, she gripped his hand. "I'm fine." After a moment, she released his hand. "He cornered me on the steps and threatened me." Threatened Roland too, she recalled. "If I testified against him, he'd see that I paid for it." A tremble brought her a bone-deep fear.

"How?"

"He was an arms dealer. At least from the proof, we could come up with. I didn't want to take the chance of being wrong, so I took him seriously. My integrity for my job won," she said. "I arranged to leave my home and I testified."

"So, you told him to stuff it."

She laughed. "I guess I did. I testified and I moved out of my apartment. I had help. My friend, Maggie." She smiled. "Maggie lives out of town and had the room. So, I moved my stuff into a storage locker, and the rest to her place. The most important things." Roland's eyes and smile came into her mind.

"Just like that?"

"Well, the apartment wasn't supposed to be long-term. I'd planned to buy a house, but I never had the time to look. It wasn't all that painful to move out. I hated my neighbors and the landlord was a bit of a drunk. So," She shrugged.

"So, you came here to hide?"

"No." Looking at him, she said, "I came here to find who I used to be."

He frowned, "What does that mean?"

Looking out over the water, she watched fish swimming down the stream, plopping above the water, and diving back under. A bird swooped down and landed on a rock to watch. "I'm not the same person you knew."

"You're the same," he said.

"You think so? I've been here a day."

He took her hand, traced the top with the pad of his thumb, "You're still Regina. Aren't you?"

She swallowed. "I suppose. I've gained a few extra titles."

"Like?"

A mother, she thought. The mother of your child. She wanted to tell him, but it stuck in her throat. He'd be hurt that she kept it from him. How could she blame him? To answer, she said, "None important."

"I hope you'll feel safe here," he said still caressing her hand with his thumb. "I've missed you."

"I doubt it," she laughed. "I was the annoying girl who got you in trouble and got in your way."

"You're wrong."

His tone of voice had her looking at him again. "Am I?"

"You know what you were to me." He released her hand. "It seems I'm not a good judge of character when it comes to women." He looked out over the water and she felt guilt crawl into her heart.

After a long time, she said, "I never meant to hurt you." It was easier to look anywhere but him.

He studied her while she avoided his eyes. "I know. I don't think you knew how serious I was when I asked you to marry me." He took a breath. "I meant it, but you laughed it off because it scared you. I accepted that you thought it was a joke. I had to let you go."

"What scared me was that you were serious," she admitted. "You had it all planned out. I hadn't even planned out my senior prom and you'd had our lives all mapped out. You've always known what you wanted."

"Yes, I have."

"I wasn't ready for it. I was young, I had goals I wanted to work for. I had college to attend." And a baby she had instead of graduating early. She wouldn't tell him that. Not now.

"A life. You had a life you wanted, and I wasn't about to hold you back. Maybe I was careless and a little stupid. I don't blame you for getting out while you could."

She sighed, "While I could?"

"Who knows what could've happened? I would've pushed you into getting married and getting pregnant. I wanted it all."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "That was a long time ago," she managed.

"Yea, it was. So, friends?" He offered a hand.

Oh, he was more than that and always would be. But she bypassed his hand and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Friends."

His eyes darkened and shocked her by taking her shoulders and bringing her back to him. He took her mouth roughly before softening at the feel of her tongue sliding along his. He dove in and took her in a drowning kiss and then almost shoved her away when they broke apart. Her insides were shaking, and her head was light.

He shoved to his feet cursing. "I'm sorry." He walked back across the water and she took a few extra minutes to settle her galloping heart. When she met him at the horses, he didn't look at her or say a word. They mounted and headed back to the barn in silence.


	3. 3

Rob stewed as they arrived at the barn. He hadn't meant to kiss her, and he was angry at his loss of control. She'd looked surprised and a little scared when he'd pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. Her lips were swollen and red.

He glanced at her as she dismounted. Gathering her reins, she handed them to Tucker. "I'll leave you to your work. Thanks for the tour." She wasn't looking at him.

"No problem," he said gruffly. She turned her head and met his eyes for a moment. Then, she averted her gaze.

"I've got a few phone calls to make and I promised your mom I'd help her in the kitchen." She smiled awkwardly and turned to walk away.

To let his frustration out, he saw to put the horses away. He brushed them, put the tack away, and turned his attention to Dante. His shoulder was still sore, but his anger was stronger. He opened the round pen and stepped inside with a rope.

"Get up." He slapped the rope on his leg and sent the horse running. When he tried to change direction, Rob didn't allow it. "Don't you do it." He stepped forward and swung the end of the rope to hit his backside. "Get up." The horse ran around the pen like a wild animal.

Rob admired the will and spirit of the animal. He was wild and stubborn like he was. It was why he got along with horses so well. He saw his own spirit in them. A wild restless inner spirit that was never quite settled. There seemed to be something missing from his life.

As he sweated and worked, he felt the tension disappearing. He raised his rope and stood strong to change the direction of the horse. "Ah-ah," he stepped out of the way when the horse charged him. "Get up." The horse turned and ran the other direction.

With a few corrections, Rob felt he was in control. It took more than a couple hours for the horse to begin taking commands from him. He turned him in a new direction a few times. Then he stood in the middle of the ring with his back to the animal.

The horse made no move to come to him. So, he stood and waited. When he felt the sweat sliding down his back, he glanced over his shoulder. The animal made no move to look in his direction. It was a good enough place to start, he decided. Exiting the pen, he filled the water trough and asked Tucker to take him out some hay.

In his office, he grabbed a towel and wiped down the sweat he'd accumulated on his face and neck. He sat down and leaned back in his chair. He had to admit that his anger was usually well guarded. Seeing Regina again brought in this pain that he hadn't ever dealt with. Seeing her face, hearing her voice. It was just like walking into a memory only to find it all changed.

There was a look in her eye that told him she was hiding something. He couldn't blame her for the distance. Eight years of life stood between them. She was the same woman he knew, saw the same spirit in her. So, he wondered what she meant about being a different person.

He was the same man he'd been. He was a boy then, but he'd had the same dreams the same goals. There wasn't a lot that could be said for how his life had moved along. He made changes to the ranch, made some money, and still had plans to come.

So, why did hearing about her life makes him feel so inadequate? She'd gone to college, worked for her mother, and became a prosecutor. It sounded fancy and he was feeling prickly about it. The thing that annoyed him more than being happy for her was that he was still in love with her.

When he'd kissed her by the water in their spot, he felt the tug of his heart. The familiarity of her in his arms even for a moment. It all came rushing back to him. That love. It's the only time he'd ever felt it in his life.

The anger he felt inside was pain. A deep well of pain that he'd buried years before. Why the hell did she have to come back and pull it back up? He'd wanted her. He'd had her. He asked her to marry him. Maybe they were young, but he would've worked like hell to provide for her.

Then, she'd turned him down and promised to write, to call, and had done neither. She moved past him and his small-town life. She'd moved on and become someone he was proud of. But the pain was nestled inside of him and it didn't seem like it was going anywhere.

He pressed his thumbs to his temple and wished like hell he could deal with her being here. He needed to be friendly and nothing more. He didn't want to take the risk because if she came to him, he'd give her everything he had. And when she walked away, as she did before, it would shatter him.

* * *

Regina picked up the phone and called her office with shaking hands. "Carla White," the woman answered.

"Hi, Carla. It's Regina."

"Well, hey there. How's the vacation?"

"It's interesting and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. What have you heard?" Regina sat and closed her eyes. She could smell Rob's cologne on her shirt.

"Martinez is incarcerated but he has a hearing next week. The judge will likely offer him the chance to bond out. They might ask you to video call to do a follow-up interview. Maybe they'll have you come in, I'm not sure. Right now, you're in the clear."

"Thanks, Carla. I appreciate it."

"Regina?" Her voice changed and caught her attention.

"Yea?"

"They told me not to tell you, but you deserve to know. Your apartment was broken into. They shot through the windows and the door. When they noticed it was empty, they left a note."

She was shaking and her eyes were wet with fear. "What did it say?"

"It said, we'll find you and you'll pay. I'm sorry, Regina. I wanted you to know."

"No, I…" She cleared her throat and swallowed the lump lodged there. "Thank you."

"Your friend might be in danger too. I'd call her."

"I…" Panic clawed into her stomach and she lost her voice.

"I've gotta go. Call if you need anything. Okay?"

"Yea…"

The line went dead and Regina sat for a long time. When she found her head, she called Maggie. "Hey there. Twice in one day. What's the special occasion?"

"Maggie, I just called Carla."

"What did she say?"

"My apartment was shot up and broken into. They left a note. Roland isn't safe there. Neither are you."

"Why?"

"I have a feeling. An ugly feeling, Maggie. You have to leave and go somewhere. I'm sorry for getting you involved in this."

"Wait, you didn't get me involved. I volunteered."

"You know what I mean. Can you bring Roland here? I need to see him for him to be with me."

"Are you sure? I thought you wanted me to hold onto him until you told Rob."

"I know, but it's dangerous. Maggie, please. I want him here."

"Okay, calm down. We'll plan and I'll see if I can bring him in a few days. Okay?"

Regina calmed, "That gives me plenty of time to tell them. They have to know."

Maggie sighed, "I love you."

Regina let tears fall from her eyes, "I love you too. I'll see you soon."

When she hung up the phone, she stood on wobbly legs and walked outside. She needed some air and she needed to get herself together because she was sure to break if she let herself.

Outside the sun was setting, the breeze was welcomed. Regina took steps toward the house and saw Betty through the window at the stove. Jack was sitting at the table. She choked on a sob when she turned and started walking.

In a daze, she walked around the house and down the drive. She just kept walking with no destination in sight. As she walked, Tucker came up beside her. "You alright, ma'am?" The touch of his arm had her jerking and turning her face toward him.

"Hey, are you okay?" He squeezed her arm and watched her.

"I…Excuse me," she managed and kept walking. Her world was about to collide with Rob's, and she didn't want it to. She didn't want to hurt Jack and Betty and now she had no choice. Tears streamed down her face as she increased her steps. She needed to getaway.

* * *

Rob sat at his desk crunching away numbers when Tucker came in at a rush. "Hey, something is wrong with that woman."

"What?"

Tuck took a breath. "I saw her walking on the drive out to the road. She's crying and she looks out of it."

Rob's heart clutched. "Did she say anything?"

"No. She's upset."

"Alright, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Tuck." He grabbed his hat and walked outside. He turned his head toward the road and saw Regina walking at a fast pace. He hoped to hell it wasn't what he'd done to upset her.

He jogged to meet up with her and slowed to a walk and called out to her, "Regina." Her shoulders stiffened, she stopped walking and kept her back to him. He watched her hands reach up and wipe at her face. "Are you okay?" He stepped to her and turned her.

He swallowed. She had tears on her face, her face was sheet white, and she was shaking. More than shaking. "Hey. What's going on?" He didn't want to, but he touched her shoulders to soothe her. She avoided his gaze. He tipped her chin up. "What is it?"

"I…I'm scared." Her voice was choppy and unsure. Her eyes darted behind him into the trees as if she was prepared to be attacked.

"Scared of what?" He couldn't help himself, he played with the ends of her hair. Dark and soft and just below her chin.

"I shouldn't have come here. I…I'm putting you all in danger," she said.

"What danger? Regina, why are you here?"

"I wasn't safe at home. I thought he'd send his men after me and now I know. He did. He broke into my apartment." Her body shuddered against him. He hadn't realized he'd been holding her. "He shot the place up and left a note."

"Shh…" He pulled her all the way in and rubbed his hands up and down her back. "You're safe here."

She held herself rigid in his arms, her hands were fisted at her chest. "My son isn't safe," she said. Her _son_?

"What?" He pulled back to look at her face. "You have a son?"

She didn't meet his eyes. "I didn't want to bring him here, but…" She swallowed. "I need him here."

He framed her face with his hands, "Hey." Their eyes met. He searched her face. "I had no idea you had a son, Regina."

Tears streamed down her cheeks, "I do. I…" She closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and the dam broke. He held her close to him as she sobbed into his chest. Over his shoulder, Jack started walking toward them, but Rob jerked his head to signal that he didn't want him to.

Jack turned and walked to the house leaving her in his arms. He crooned and soothed as best he could until she was weak and limp in his arms. His shoulder was killing him, but he reached down behind her knees and lifted her into his arms.

He walked slowly toward the house. As they passed Tuck, he said, "You alright?"

"We're fine. Put Dante, away will you?"

"Yes, sir."

Robin walked around the back of the house and to the cabin. He managed to get the door open and walked her to the couch. Sitting her down, she huddled into the seat while he closed the door. He walked into the kitchen and poured her some water.

He sat beside her and offered the glass. She took it and drank a few sips before handing it back to him. He set it down on the table. He was useless to crying women. But this wasn't just a woman. It was Regina. He watched her as she stared at her hands.

He sat back and stretched out his legs. "Who told you about your apartment?"

"Carla, my assistant," she whispered.

"Does anyone know where you are?"

"Just Maggie. I didn't tell anyone else and she doesn't know the address. She wouldn't be able to find me. I told her because she has my son."

"Why did you leave him with her? You could've brought him here. Why didn't you?"

"It's complicated."

"Try me." He reached over and trailed his fingers along her shoulder.

"I need to…oh God." She covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She brought her knees to her chest and buried her face in them.

"Sorry for what? How about you just spit it out and we'll decide if it warrants a sorry."

Regina stood abruptly and said, "I need to talk to Betty. I can't…I didn't expect it to come out like this. Or ever," she finished.

He stared at her. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"I can't." She walked to the front door and opened it. He sat there while she walked out.

* * *

Regina rushed out of the cabin and into the house. "Betty."

She turned around with a smile, but it faltered when she saw her face. "What happened?"

"I didn't want to tell him, but I have to. Roland is in danger and I have to bring him here."

"Sit down, dear." She ushered her into a chair and sat with her. "Tell me what happened."

Regina told her about the apartment and the note. "I can't put Maggie in danger and now that I'm sure he's after us, I need him here. I need my little boy here."

"Then, he'll come here. We'll deal with the fallout if that's what is necessary."

"I'm sorry, Betty."

"For what? I knew why you came before you got here. Jack too. That boy will be taken care of. You hear me?"

"Yes, but…"

"It's time, Regina. You've had years to come to terms with it. You've kept your secret and deprived that boy and his father the chance to know each other. Enough is enough. You need to tell him."

"I can't. He already hates me, Betty. I broke his heart and I can't bear to do it again."

"Yes," she said with compassionate eyes. "You broke his heart, dear. But he was a boy and he needed some growing before he could follow through with the promises, he tried to offer you. He's a man now, honey."

Regina sighed, "I know. I know he is, but it doesn't make it any easier. He's everything that I wanted once upon a time."

"So, why did you leave?"

"Because I was scared. I wasn't ready for it. I knew that if I stayed, we'd be exactly what he wanted us to be. I would've lost myself and I didn't want that to happen. So, I left. And when I found out I was pregnant; I couldn't face him."

Betty patted her hand, "Now, you have to be the adult and tell him. It's time."

The door opened and they turned to see Rob in the doorway. Betty said, "Tell him."

Rob's eyes narrowed, "Tell me what?"

Regina closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. This was harder than she could've imagined. He sat in the chair across from her, "Tell me what?"

Betty took his hand, "Try to be understanding and hear her out before you get upset. This isn't an easy thing to hear."

Rob's eyes pinned Regina's and she didn't know what to say or do.

Rob said, "Okay…you wanna tell me what it is?"

"No," she said honestly. "But I have to. I should've told you years ago, but I was selfish and a coward."

His body stilled and he kept his burning green eyes on hers. His fists clenched in front of him. "I'm listening," he said tightly.

When Regina was going to blurt it out, Jack walked in the back door. Glancing around he caught sight of the look on Rob's face. "What's going on?"

Betty said, "She's telling him."

He stopped. "Now? Is that wise? Have you said?"

Regina looked at him, "No. I think it's right that you're here, Jack."

He sat beside her and took his hand. "So, you finally listen to us."

Rob cut in, "Someone want to tell me. I'm not a patient man."

Jack said, "It's past time you knew. Tell him, honey."

Regina swallowed and felt Betty and Jack's hands squeeze hers in support. "When I left the ranch that summer," she began. Rob's eyes were on hers. Intensely watching her. "I was applying to college and I was finishing up my senior year."

"I remember," he said.

"Well, I graduated early, and I worked my butt off to finish before I couldn't go to school anymore. I had my goals set and I met them. Despite…"

"Despite what?"

"Robin, we were just kids. We were so young and when you asked me to marry you, I ran."

"You asked her to marry you?" Betty's eyes were shocked.

"I did," he said.

"Regina, you never told me that," she scolded.

"I knew you'd have tried to force me to stay and I couldn't do that. I had other things to take care of."

"Regina," he said. "Tell me."

She swallowed. "I found out a few months after I left that I was pregnant." She watched his features abruptly go it shock. His body jerked. She hurried on, "I couldn't tell you and I thought it was better for all of us to keep it that way."

Betty nodded. "Now you know. Your son is almost eight."

Rob didn't move, didn't say a word, just stared at her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Rob stood from the table and stomped out of the room. She heard his heavy steps on the stairs and the slam of his door. She dropped her head to the table and wept.


	4. 4

Rob sat on the edge of his bed and clutched the wood with his hands in a death grip. His breath came in and out in an uneasy pattern, he felt like his skin was on fire, nausea centered in his gut, and he was dizzy. He looked around the room at his desk, his photos above it, and his familiar space.

A few minutes ago, he'd stared at Regina and he wondered what she had to say. His heart clenched at the words she'd said. She'd found out she was pregnant. _Pregnant_. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. He couldn't picture her in that condition.

Closing his eyes, he brought her into his mind. She looked terrified by the road earlier in the evening. So terrified, her whole body shook with fear. Then, she'd looked at him and he'd seen that distant look in her brown eyes. That look he'd seen since she arrived.

Then, he brought the look on her face at the table flanked by his parents. _His parents_. He seethed with anger to know that they'd known and kept it from him. Tears sprang to his eyes. Betrayal. That's what it was.

Regina knew he loved her, wanted to marry her. Yet, she ran, and not only did she run, she had to raise a baby on her own. Without him. How could she do that to him? He sank down onto the mattress and looked up at the ceiling. He waited for an hour, two.

There was no calm inside of him. The house had grown silent. He couldn't stop thinking and he couldn't sleep. He glanced at the clock. He'd been laying there for three and a half hours. Restless, he put his boots on and walked out of his room, down the stairs, and out the back door.

When he was in front of the cabin, he paused. It was silent. He clenched his jaw and slammed his fist against the door three times. The sound echoed and he waited until she opened the door. She had a white silk robe wrapped around her, her hair was pinned up, and her eyes were guarded.

He stepped inside and she shut the door. "Rob…"

"Don't." His eyes were dangerously intent on hers and his nostrils flared. He was angry and it had only built since hearing the news. He took two long strides toward her and reached up and grabbed her by the throat. She cried out and gripped his arm.

His other hand squeezed her upper arm painfully. She winced. "How could you do that to me?" His voice was so full of emotion it shook. Her eyes were wide and wary, her lips were parted in shock. He didn't care that her cheeks turned pink and her face paled. If she was scared, there was a reason for it.

He felt like hurting her. Hurting her like she'd hurt him. For years.

"I'm sorry," she managed. "I didn't know how to tell you and I just…it was harder to the longer it went on."

"Eight years, Regina. Almost nine," he bit out. "You could have told me."

Her eyes closed, "I know. Let me go, you're hurting me."

"Good." Her eyes snapped open. "You don't know how much you hurt me. You probably don't give a damn."

"That's not true," she argued.

"No? Tell me, when did you know? When did you tell my mother? How long has she known?" She stared at him and it angered him that she didn't say a word. "How long?" He shook her.

"I told her a few days after he was born," she admitted. "Jack came to the hospital to see him."

"So, you just disappeared and let my parents know I fathered a child. Didn't feel the need to tell me?" He tightened his grip on her throat.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone," she rasped. He loosened his hand slightly. "I was alone, and I needed someone. So, I called the only woman who had been a mother to me." A tear slid down her cheek. "My father died when I was seven months pregnant."

He knew her father was dead. He'd known that detail because Jack and Betty went to the funeral. He had just stared training and had a full day, or he'd have gone. "My parents went to his funeral."

"Yes, they did."

"I know because I couldn't go. I would've but I had a lot on my plate. I would've known then," he said bitterly. His eyes bore into hers.

"You weren't ready to be a father," she said.

"You didn't give me a chance, did you?"

"No more than I was ready to be a mother," she finished. "You would've convinced me to stay with you and I would've resented you for it." She tried to pry his hand away from her throat, but he held tight. "I did what I had to do. Jack convinced me that it was best to keep it from you. You had your sights on your goals. On the ranch. I didn't want to ruin that for you."

He shook his head. "You ruined me." She shook her head to deny it. "You ruined the man I was going to be. I had goals, yes. I had goals and I had a vision. But it all changed when you walked away from me. You promised to write and to call. But you didn't."

"I couldn't."

"No, because you had a secret that you wanted to keep. That makes it worse. It makes it worse that you broke my heart and took it with you." He released her and shoved her back. "You took everything from me."

"No, I didn't," she ran a hand over her throat to soothe herself. "I saved you from yourself. You were going to run out of money and push things through before you had time to think. I wasn't ready to be a wife or a mother. You had it all planned out for me."

"For us."

"Without asking me." She crossed her arms over her chest. Her neck was red and angry. He couldn't feel guilty. "I was young, and I had my own goals. I would've left for school either way. It was easier to walk away before we could get too deep."

He stopped pacing and looked at her. Honesty was better than hiding so he said, "You were it for me. You've been it for me. I haven't been able to get involved with another woman seriously because of you."

She jerked back. "That's not fair."

"Fair? You want to talk about fair?" He was yelling. He didn't care.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Robin." He hated being called that. She'd been the only one to ever be able to. Her voice caught on a sob and he stepped back. "It hurt too much to think of telling you. Of telling you and moving on with my life. I couldn't do that."

"Do what?" He snapped.

"I couldn't tell you and watch the look on your face. The look I saw in the kitchen." She waited while he shifted his feet. "To have to fight with you over custody and visitation. I couldn't do that to him."

She'd yet to say his name, he noted. "You didn't give me a choice. Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I wanted to. When I look at him, I've tried to write a million times, but I never seem to be able to follow through on it. It's gone so far and the only reason I told you now is that I need him to be safe." Her voice was stronger now, he noted. "I need him to be safe and the only place is here with me."

"So, you'll bring him here and tell him what? We're just friends?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "Look, you can hate me for it. I don't blame you. I knew you would." She turned her back on him and walked into the kitchen. She gripped the counter and hunched her shoulders. They shook from silent sobs. He heard an intake of breath and the shutter of it.

He sat on the couch and bent to rest his elbows on his knees, hands on his face. "I should hate you," he began. She kept her back to him. "You don't know how long I've tried to hate you."

With a thick voice, she said, "I don't blame you." She sniffed and wiped her face as she turned. He sat up.

"When you told me you had a son, I imagined you were with someone. Someone who managed to tie you down. I didn't imagine this, Regina."

Her fingers twisted the tie at her waist. "There isn't anyone." Her eyes were focused on her hand. "No one has been good enough for him. I won't settle for it and it wasn't fair to him to pretend." She paused. "Not that it matters."

"So, you've been alone this whole time? I find that doubtful." Her eyes met his then moved away.

"You can believe what you want. I've been discrete in any type of relationship I've had. But I never introduced anyone to him, and I don't plan on it. I'm not the woman you knew, Robin."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Turning her back to him, she took a deep breath. "According to my boss, I'm a whore. So, go ahead and hate me. I already hate myself." She sighed in relief. It seemed she'd wanted to get it off her chests and he had no idea what to say. He had no idea what the hell she meant.

He stood and went to her, took her by the shoulders, and turned her around. She lifted her face in defiance. He had to admire her resolve. "I should hate you."

She nodded with tears in her eyes. "You should."

He shook his head and tightened his hands on her shoulders. "I've tried to hate you, but I can't."

Tears slid down her cheeks. "Why not? You have every right to hate me."

"Yea, I do. I'm so fucking pissed off at you." He reached and she flinched as his thumb wiped tears from her cheek. "What's his name?"

Her eyes closed, "Roland."

His father's middle name. He clenched his jaw as his heart took a fist. "God, Regina."

Her eyes opened, "It's what you wanted. You told me if we had kids, you'd name your first-born Roland. I remembered."

He squeezed her shoulders, "You continue to rip my heart out." Tears sprang to his eyes. "Why would you do that if you never intended on telling me?"

She lifted her shoulder. "It's okay," she sobbed, "to hate me."

"I told you, I don't hate you," he said. He lifted her chin with his fingers, "I'm beyond pissed and hurt that you kept him from me." He glanced down at her mouth. Tempted to kiss her, he looked into her eyes. "But I could never hate you."

He gentled his touch and wrapped his arms around her. She took a minute to do the same. She buried her face in his shoulder and wept. As she did, he kissed the nape of her neck lightly. "I've loved you half my life."

"Don't say that," she pleaded.

"I haven't wanted to. I've tried not to, but I can't seem to let you go." He pulled back and framed her face with his hands. "And now I don't want to. As pissed off as I am…" He shut his eyes and pressed his brow to hers. "How could you?" His voice caught and the emotion choked him.

"I'm sorry." Her arms came around him. She lifted her face and his mouth came down on hers roughly at first. He branded her with his lips, opening her up to a painful discovery. His teeth sunk into her lower lip and she gasped.

His hands gripped the tie of her robe and yanked at it. He pulled the robe open to reveal her in panties and an excuse for a shirt. He threw the robe to the floor and sunk into another angry kiss. This one was smoother and warm, their tongues slid across each other, and he nipped her.

Her taste swarmed him, held him by the throat, and brought back memories of their time years before. Where he'd been sweet and gentle, now he was anything but. He gripped her hips and guided her backward toward the bedroom.

He took long drinks from her mouth, let his hands roam, and his fingers discover. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it. She sighed as he covered his mouth over her neck and was so erotic, he went hard as iron. Her hands reached for his belt, undid the clasp, and pulled it from the loops of his jeans.

He grabbed a handful of her hair scattering pins at the base of her neck and pulled her mouth back to his. He sank into her until he felt he could drown in her. He toed off his booths and tumbled on the bed with her underneath him. He tasted and bit down on her jawline, her neck, her collarbone, and lifted the shirt she wore over her head.

Her breasts were full, and she had dark beautiful nipples. He bent and took one into his mouth. She gasped and he bit down as she cried out. He rose over her and sunk into a dizzying kiss. When he released her mouth, he mumbled in her ear, "You're not a whore. I don't know who the fuck told you that, but you're not."

He licked her shoulder and replaced his tongue with his lips and felt her shiver. "You're a beautiful woman, Regina." He took the edge of her panties and peeled them down her hips, thighs, and legs, taking a slow torturous journey with his lips and tongue. Until he threw them on the floor.

He rose to kneel between her legs, lifted her to slide two pillows behind her. He kissed her long and deep. "I've had you inside of me for years."

She shook her head, "Don't."

He sank into another kiss until she melted into the bed. "God, I've missed you."

He slid down and kissed down her breasts, her belly, and teased her with his lips. He moved to her thighs, scratching his nails along her skin lightly. Then, he lowered to cover her core with his mouth. Her hips bucked forward and she gasped. "You've always been so responsive."

He hooked her knee over his shoulder and went to work. He sank into her heat, teasing and tasting with his lips, tongue, and teeth. She shook and buckled until her body went rigid and she crested. Her cries filled the room as he sunk two fingers inside of her and he closed his mouth over her clit. Her body bucked and shook until it relaxed.

As she was breathing heavily and coming down from her climax, he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and jerked them off. He tossed his briefs with them. "Come here." He pulled her up over his chest and sank into her sweet mouth. "Mmm."

He pulled her knee over his lap and guided her to straddle him. He reached over and pulled out a condom from the side table. He didn't know they were still there, but it was his lucky day. He rolled it on and took her hips to guide him into her.

He sighed as her body slid lazy down clenching around him. He gave her a minute to adjust before pulling her waist down and claiming her mouth. He held her to him as he rolled them over. Nestled inside of her, he wrapped her thighs around his hips.

He slid his hands in hers linking their fingers and bringing them up over her head. He leaned down to kiss her and trailed his lips to her ear. "I'm so fucking pissed and hurt, right now." He thrust angrily inside of her. Her fingers tightened in his. "You tore me apart." He thrust hard again.

He gripped her hip with one hand and thrust a few times hard and rough. Her body tightened around him. It was intoxicating. Breathing heavy, he teasingly bit her earlobe. "I may be pissed for a while. I may walk out of this room and not talk to you for a few days." He continued to thrust inside of her.

"But I want you to know something." He gentled and rolled his hips softly and slowly causing her to raise her legs and cross her ankles around him. Her arms tangled around his shoulders. She lifted her hips as he sank, and they rocked like that a little bit. The feeling was incredibly enjoyable. He sank into a heart-knocking kiss.

"I love you, Regina." He looked into her eyes. Tears fell down her cheeks. "I always have."

To answer, she pulled him back to her and kissed him. They increased their pace and he sank into her over and over again. When he felt like he was going to lose it, he reached between them and slid his thumb over her clit. After a few dozen swipes, she was shaking and going over the edge.

He chased his climax with hers gripped her hips so hard he knew he was leaving bruises. He bit down on the nape of her neck and she climaxed surprisingly again. He was spent, his heart was broken, and his whole body was wrecked.

She rolled to her side and he disposed of the condom in the waste basket on the floor. He sighed heavily and covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow. He hadn't had sex that good in a long time. His whole body was tingling. His heart was pounding in his ears.

Regina sat up and he lowered his arm to see her wrap the sheet around her body. Shame covered her face and he hated himself for putting that look on her face. He sat up and turned to her. She wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Regina." He took her arms and pulled her to him. He wrapped around her and held her tightly.

"I'm so sorry," she cried. Her arms were like vices around him. "I know it won't ever be enough."

"I need some time," he admitted. He pulled her from him. He shaped his hand to her jaw, leaned in and kissed her lips lightly.

She nodded. Her arms wrapped tighter around the sheet and covered herself from him.

He stood to find his briefs, he put them on and slid his jeans on. He picked up her panties and shirt and set them on the bed. He'd never get the image of her nipples poking through that shirt out of his mind. The dark curls teasing him through those thin panties. He shook his head to clear the image.

He'd gotten in bed with her when he'd meant to walk away. He'd fucked her one minute and made love to her another. His heart was hurting, and she had the power to ruin him again.

He left her in the room to find his shirt and his boots. When he had them on, he stood to see her wrapped in her robe standing in the kitchen. Her arms were around her body, her eyes downcast. Her hair was mussed, her lips swollen, and her neck marked.

He swallowed. "Do you have a picture of him?"

Her eyes met his and she averted her gaze before nodding. She picked up her phone from the counter and scrolled through. She reached out to hand it to him. She still wouldn't look him in the eye.

He took the phone and looked at the picture of Roland. He had long curls with the same color as Regina's. He has her eyes, he noted. The dimples and smile matched his own. He looked a little like Jack. His throat closed as he handed her the phone back. "He's beautiful."

Regina nodded. A tear slid down her cheek.

Rob stepped to her and took her face in his hands. "Why won't you look at me?"

"Because I'm ashamed."

He searched her face until her eyes met his, "Of keeping him from me or having sex with me?"

"Both."

He furrowed his brow, "We'll have to talk about it. Right now, you should get some sleep." He kissed her once more and released her.

He walked to the door and looked back, "I would've given you whatever you wanted."

She stared at him shocked.

"I've always wanted you. You just didn't want me," he said softly. He let the pain fill him. "I guess you'll have to tell me whether you want me now. Because if you leave here without telling me everything, I'll have nothing left."

"I…"

"Don't." He lifted his hand to silence her. "You think about it. It's always been you who was never clear about what you wanted. Right now, I need some time."

"I'm sorry, Robin."

"Stop apologizing to me. It's getting old. What's done is done. Good night." He turned and walked out of the cabin.

He went inside the house, up the stairs, and into his room. He packed a bag with his clothes and what he would need for a few days. He left a note on the kitchen table that read, "Be back in a few days."

Then, he went out to wake up Tucker and tell him his plans.


	5. 5

Robin entered the barn after spending the last few days in town. He'd sat in a hotel bar and drank until he couldn't think or feel. In hindsight, it was a stupid idea, but it was what he needed to get rid of the feelings he had released on Regina.

Guilt and Regret were at the top of the list for how he'd grabbed her, how he'd treated her. He didn't give a damn at the time; he'd slipped into her bed and taken her as if he'd had permission. The look of shame on her face after had put a hole in his gut.

As he walked into his office, he thought back to the statements she'd made. Her boss thought she was a whore. She kept telling him that it was okay if he hated her. Shaking his head as he sat, he couldn't understand it. He didn't even ask her.

Right now, he had bigger problems. He'd skipped out on ordering feed, updating his schedule, and he'd left it all to Tucker and Yvonne. He shifted through his schedule and got down to business.

After making phone calls to update his orders, he felt marginally better. Tucker appeared in the door a few times to ask about Dante and the new Bay. The barn was being mucked out and he wanted to make sure their feeding schedules were clear.

Dante was on a specific diet and he was being fed lavender and other herbs to keep him calm. Rob was itching to get back to breaking him. As he stood to follow Tucker outside, he stopped at the sound of a child giggling.

The hair on the back of his neck rose as he heard him yell, "Mama!" He stopped at the opening of the barn and looked out. The boy launched himself at Regina and she struggled to take his weight. She adjusted her arms and pulled him up and hugged him tightly to her chest.

He watched her eyes close and emotion fill her. He glanced at the black SUV in the drive as a woman with a dark pixie cut walked toward Regina. She put the child down and hugged her friend. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you."

The woman laughed, "You're wearing jeans."

Regina released her and shook her head, "We're on a ranch."

The woman turned her and slapped her ass surprising him. "They look good on you." She stopped and scanned the property. He took a step back when her eyes scanned over the barn. "Well, I can't wait to see Betty and finally meet Jack."

"Come on, I'll take you inside." Regina took the boy's hand and they walked into the house.

When they were out of sight, he released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"You okay?" Tucker's voice made him jump. He thought he'd witnessed this little exchange on his own.

"I'm fine. Will you put Dante in the round pen? I wanna get started."

Tucker gave him an assessing look but kept his silence. "Yes, sir."

"Tuck stop calling me sir. I'm not my father."

"Yes…Rob," he finished with a lopsided grin.

Rob took a few deep breaths and waited until Dante was in the round pen before he put his black Stetson on and walked out of the barn. When he had Dante running around the pen and listening to commands, he felt good.

Until he saw his father walking his way with steel in his eyes. "Where the hell have you been?"

Rob turned his back to him and commanded Dante to change direction. "I needed a few days to process," he bit out.

Jack rested his arm over the gate and watched his progress. "I suppose you feel betrayed."

"That doesn't even cover it," he said. "Get up," he yelled.

Jack was silent as he worked and finally said, "She begged me, Rob."

The sound of his voice had him turning to meet his father's eyes. They were wary and out of character for him. His shoulders were so tight, and his stomach was woozy from the alcohol he'd consumed. He stopped in the middle of the ring and turned his back on the horse.

When the horse made no move, he sighed and walked out of the pen. "You had no right to lie to me."

"I didn't lie," Jack said. "Regina asked me, no she begged me not to tell anyone. I didn't want to break that promise."

"So, you kept it from me. You knew how I felt about her. You knew I wanted a family with her. Mom kept it from me."

Jack nodded, "Yes, we did. But it wasn't our place to say anything. If you want to know the truth, Betty and I have been telling her to tell you for years. She's stubborn."

"I know," he said bitterly.

"What are you going to do?"

Rob shifted his feet, "I don't know. I just saw him, and I froze." He took off his hat and dusted it on his knee. He rubbed the back of his head in a nervous gesture. "I messed up with her the other night."

"Is that why she's been so quiet?" Jack paused. "She's barely said a word to anyone, and truth be told, she's starting to worry me."

Rob's eyes narrowed, "What do you know about this trouble she's in?"

"Nothing."

"Figures," he huffed. "I don't know how to fix this."

"You'll figure it out," Jack put his hand on his shoulder.

"No, that's the thing, dad. This time, I have no idea how to. All I know is that I hurt her. The worst part is that I didn't care at the time. Now…" He lifted his shoulder.

"You regret it," Jack finished for him. "Son, all you have to do is talk to her."

"Maybe. But I'm hurt and pissed at you and mom. More than I ever have been before. I'm not sure I'll get over it," he said honestly.

Jack patted his back, "I'm sorry, Rob. I hope that's not true. I'll be in the house. We have company for dinner. So, be nice."

"Yes, sir."

Jack headed up to the house and Rob turned back to the horse who was staring at him. He opened the gate and stepped inside. Taking slow measured steps, he reached a hand out hovering over his neck. When the horse made no objection, he rested his hand on his neck and started to rub. That small victory made some of the tension in his body loosen.

* * *

Sitting around the table for dinner, Regina was a nervous wreck. She knew that any minute Rob could come in and she wasn't ready for it. For the first time in a while, the table was fully set.

Maggie and Betty were discussing the ranch while her eyes were trained on the empty place setting. Roland was talking to Jack about his latest art lesson. They seemed to be hitting it off well.

As time went on, she relaxed. It didn't look like he would be coming in for dinner. When Roland started closing his eyes, she laughed. "I think it's someone's bedtime."

Jack nodded, "I agree. Go take him to lay down."

Betty kissed his nose, "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night."

As Regina stepped outside, she couldn't help but dart her eyes around. The coast was clear, so she hurriedly walked to the cabin. Roland's bags were still set on the couch.

"Can I wear my Spiderman pajamas?" He rubbed his tired eyes.

"Sure." She took out his desired pajamas and his toothbrush. "Go potty, brush your teeth, and get changed."

As he paddled off to the bathroom she pointed at, Regina took his bags to the bedroom and started putting away his clothes in the empty drawers. It was nice to have him with her and she felt better about Maggie staying for dinner.

What edged on her nerves was the fact that Rob didn't come to dinner. She hadn't seen him in a few days and the way they left things…

Shame slid into her blood. Sex was a weapon; she'd learned that over the years. Even if Rob didn't know her experience with it, he added to that when he punished her. That's what it felt like. He'd punished and used sex to show her how he felt. Then, he'd left her feeling ashamed and humiliated.

Shaking away the feeling, she turned as Roland came into the room. He bared his teeth, "All clean."

"Good boy. Come on, into bed." She peeled the covers down and he slid under them. Taking his favorite book from his bag, she opened the pages of _The Little Prince_ and began to read.

* * *

Robin worked late into the night. He'd debated more than a few times whether he should go in for dinner. Focusing on his finance report, he figured it was as good excuse as any to avoid the drama. He wasn't ready to meet his son and he wasn't ready to face Regina.

He owed her a huge apology and he knew he had to do it right. So, he'd wait. He needed to confront his mother first and that was going to be the hardest thing. So, he'd wait. He'd wait for all of it and work.

Deep into his work, he registered a knock on the door. His eyes snapped up at the sound. The woman who arrived with Roland stood in the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Maggie."

Manners won over his annoyance and he stood to shake the hand she extended. "Rob Ross." He hated that he sounded so formal.

"Do you mind if I take a seat, Rob?"

He furrowed his brows, "I guess not."

She sat and he reluctantly sat back in his chair. "Why do I get the impression I'm about to have my ass handed to me?"

Maggie laughed, "Feeling guilty about something?"

He swallowed. "More than a few," he admitted.

He watched her face relax, "If Regina knew I was here, she'd kill me. So, listen up."

His back stiffened. "Why are you here?"

Glancing behind her, she lowered her voice. "We're alone. Yes?"

"My ranch hand Tucker sleeps in the loft." He pointed upstairs. "He's not one to gossip."

Maggie nodded. "Regina is in trouble, Rob. In more trouble than she realizes. I need you to watch out for her." She leaned forward and laid her hand on his. He stared at it. "How much do you know about her past?"

"Not much. I know she worked for her mother and she told me she's a lawyer."

Sitting back, she sighed. "I'm about to tell you some things that are going to be hard to hear and you have to promise you won't tell her I told you."

Curiosity was flowing in his brain. "Why tell me? I haven't been a part of her life."

"Because she's still in love with you."

He clenched his jaw. "What makes you say that?"

"I know her better than anyone." She paused. "There's a picture of the two of you on Roland's dresser at home."

"What?"

Her smile widened. "Promise me."

"You have my word," he said still in shock.

"Good." She started speaking and not only did his stomach roll, but his head was pounding by the time she finished. Maggie told him that after Regina had left her mother's campaign, she went to law school, and passed the bar. Ready to get her work started, she'd applied all over the area.

No one had been willing to take on a baby lawyer with no experience until she met Jaden O'Malley. He'd given her a chance on one condition. She warmed his bed when he saw fit. For the first year of her position, he'd used her to his whim. When she put her foot down three years ago, Jaden had been pissed.

Transferring to the DA's office, she got away from him. But he wasn't done trying to torment her. He made her job difficult, but Regina had been determined not to let him ruin her. At times he found his way back into her bed when her cases landed on his desk. It seemed she couldn't get away from him completely.

Now, she was dealing with more than his advances. She was dealing with an arms dealer who had a hit out on her. He had no idea what to say to any of the news.

"Regina's a good person, Rob. She's made plenty of mistakes, but she did it for Roland. That boy grew up not wanting for anything. She saw to that. No matter what she did, she did it for him."

"I…God, I don't even know what to say." He scrubbed his face with his hands.

"I see that you still care about her. Regina doesn't let anyone get close to her. So, be gentle. She's got some scars and she's not in the best headspace right now."

"I won't hurt her."

She looked sympathetic, "You did hurt her, though. Whatever happened the other day between you two…well, she hasn't said a word. That's not like her. I just thought that you deserved to know."

She stood and the only thing he could say was, "I love her."

Their eyes met. "Then, be gentle and try to understand that she made mistakes. There are a lot of reasons she didn't tell you about Roland. Maybe she should have told you when he was little. But she was too embarrassed by her life to bring you into it. That I can say for certain."

"Thanks, Maggie."

"For what?"

"For giving me a chance. I appreciate it."

She smiled. "It was nice to meet you." Walking to the door she turned, "I'm pulling for you, Rob. Don't let me down."

When she walked out of the barn, he sat in silence. He tried to process everything that he'd heard. Regina had become victim to some asshole and viewed herself as a whore. He understood the shame now. The look on her face when she couldn't look at him.

It all made sense. And it all made him sick. He owed her much more than an apology.

* * *

Regina walked with Roland's hand in hers around the property. They woke early and he'd wanted to see the horses. To stay out of the way and out of Jack's way, she'd taken the long way around to the lake. Roland broke from her hand and ran ahead.

Walking slowly, she watched him take in their surroundings. He looked so happy running around and picking up sticks, throwing leaves in the air, and giggling. She smiled and picked up the pace to follow him across the water in her favorite spot. The spot Rob took her to when she arrived.

They sat under the tree and Roland asked, "Why haven't I met my dad yet? You told me he was here."

"He's been busy, baby."

"Working with horses?"

"Yea and he's got a lot of other work that he has to do. Like when I have to work," she ruffled his hair. "We can go see Jack."

"Will he show me horses?"

Regina laughed, "Of course, he will."

"How long are we staying here?"

It was hard to answer so she said, "A little while." Roland stood and picked up tiny rocks and tried to skate them across the water. He managed to bounce one a couple of times, but he quickly became frustrated and gave up. He sat on a large rock and stared at the water.

The breeze ruffled the leaves, birds sang happily, and the silence overwhelmed her. It was so nice to not hear traffic, voices, horns, and the business of the city. It was nice to sit on a calm day and enjoy the quiet. Embracing it, she closed her eyes.

* * *

Rob descended the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Betty sat at the table drinking a cup of tea. A newspaper was open in front of her. He poured himself what was left of the coffee and leaned against the counter. "Morning dear."

He kept his silence and waited until she looked up to see his eyes. He drank deeply and set the cup down. "How did you do it?"

Betty sat straighter, "Do what?"

Anger bit into his veins, "How did you sit there day after day, year after year, and know that I had a son. You never said one goddamn word."

"Don't you use the Lord's name in vain, Robby. No matter how angry you are," she scolded.

"How?" He ignored her.

"Sit down."

"Answer me," he said refusing to move. He crossed his arms.

"You don't think I wanted to? It wasn't easy keeping something like that in. There were many times, Robby." Her voice shook, tears formed in her eyes. "I wanted to tell you. But, I couldn't."

His jaw clenched, tears were in his eyes, and his heart hurt. "Because she asked you to."

"She didn't ask, Robby. She begged. If you know, Regina. She doesn't beg."

He sighed, "No. She doesn't. That's no excuse." His voice broke. "She broke my heart, mom. I was a kid and I didn't know what I was getting into. But that heartbreak is far less than what I feel now."

"Robby, please. Try to understand."

"Understanding isn't the problem, mom. I'm finding out things left and right and from a stranger no less. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"You have a right to be angry."

"Yea, I do." He stepped toward the table and clenched his hands around the chair across from his mother. "I feel like you betrayed me. You and dad. The two people I trusted the most in this world."

"I'm sorry, Robby." Seeing tears stream down his mother's face broke something inside of him. "I love you. Because I love you, I did what she wanted. I love her too."

"So do I," he bit out. "I've been in love with her for half my damn life. I could've have been a father to that baby. I could've had the life I wanted. Instead, you let me pine for her." He sobbed out a breath and inhaled painfully. Tears started to stream down his cheeks. "You let me walk around here with my heartbroken. I was broken and you didn't say a word."

"I wanted to," she sobbed. "I'd never seen that girl cry in all the years she spent with us. I had to honor her choice."

"Without caring about my feelings," he finished. He wiped his face embarrassed of the tears.

"That's not true, I did care about them. I try to soothe you, Robby. I tried to do the best I could. You mean more to me than anything. I'm so sorry."

"I love you, mom. But right now, I can't live here."

"What?"

"I'm staying in the loft with Tuck. I won't stay in the house and I'd appreciate it if you give me some space."

"You don't mean that." She wiped her face.

"The hell I do. Don't wait on me. I'll take care of my own meals and myself. You stay the hell away from me." Fresh tears fell down his face.

"Robby…"

"Don't. You did enough." With his heartbroken by his mother's tears and betrayal, he turned and walked up the stairs.


	6. 6

In the morning rain, Roland followed Jack around the property. As a young boy, he was interested in horses and cowboys. His new boots hurt his feet, but he didn't care. As Jack stopped outside the cabin, he gestured to a metal container. "Lift the lid."

Roland lifted the lid to see a scooper atop wheat-colored feed. "Grab a couple of scoops full and scatter it on the ground." He did as he was told and laughed as the chickens flocked towards him. He shied away from them as they flapped their wings.

"Every morning we feed the chickens and the dogs. That's their food." Jack pointed at another metal container with a paw print on the outside. Roland helped put food in the stainless-steel bowls on the ground. The dogs came bounding around the corner to eat greedily. He laughed as they swished their tails and scarfed down their food in a way that he would get in trouble for.

"Can I see the horses now?" The excitement was overwhelming. Since he arrived, he'd been begging to see the horses. His mother kept telling him it wasn't time and Betty was too busy cooking or cleaning the house to take him. Jack was in town most of the week, so when he asked to follow him around today, he was ready.

"Yea, come on." Jack led him toward the house and around to the barn. When they entered, Roland looked on in awe. The horses were so big, he had to crane his neck to see their eyes. He walked down the aisle of stalls. Taking his time, he looked at each horse as Jack helped him stand on a stool to look over the doors.

Their bodies were so big, their feet were sturdy and unmoving, and their eyes watched him. Each stall had hay on the ground, feed buckets hanging on hooks. It had a smell that he could only recognize as horse. A mixture of their manure and straw. Some sweat and something woodsy.

When he got to the end, he looked in to see a smaller horse with white feet, brown hair, and eyes that stared right at him. "What's its name?"

Jack rested his elbows on the door, "Rob hasn't named him yet. He's been here a few weeks." Jack reached forward to rub down his neck. The horse leaned into him and blew a raspberry, as his mother would say.

Roland considered the horse, looked at his sleek body, his strong legs, and his big stature. He thought the horse looked strong and smart. Having no knowledge of horses, he wasn't an expert by any means. He looked at Jack, "If I named him, I'd call him Boulder."

"Boulder? Why?" Jack laughed.

"Well, because he looks hard like rocks and strong like a boulder," Roland shrugged. He stepped down from the stool and walked down to an open stall. Inside were shelves, cabinets, and a big desk where a man sat typing with a scowl on his face.

Roland knew the second he laid eyes on him who he was. He looked different than the picture by his bed. In the picture he had a smile on his face and an arm around his mom. He always thought they looked happy together. He dreamt of having a dad that was happy and made his mom laugh.

He had shorter hair now. Hair on his face and eyes hard. He stepped forward and Rob looked up. Roland's belly fluttered at the look in his eyes, a look that gave him the jitters. Then, they softened, and he thought he saw the man in the picture again. Standing in the doorway, he met his eyes. "Hi."

Rob put his hands in his lap and rubbed his thighs. "Are you alone in here?" Concern etched his face as he looked behind him.

"No, Grandpa Jack was showing me the horses. I know it's dangerous to be alone with them. I'm careful. My mom taught me." He looked around the room and touched a nameplate on his desk. Nerves danced under his skin as he studied his dad.

Rob swallowed. "You like horses?"

Roland turned and could see his dad was nervous like him. "Yea. Mom taught me to ride when I was six. But we haven't been in a while. Mom is always busy working." He probably shouldn't have said that. "Mom works hard but I've wanted to take a vacation forever."

Rob nodded but kept his silence. Roland stopped in front of his desk and smiled, "Now, we get to take a little vacation and I love horses."

"So do I," Rob said with a smile. "What grade are you in?"

Roland perked up at the mention of school. "I'm going to third grade after summer. Mom says that I get to go on the bus like a regular kid. She usually drives me, or aunt Maggie takes me."

"You like school?" His dad seemed to be interested but Roland could see he was a little hesitant. Who knew that he'd be talking to his dad after all these years? He'd wanted to forever, but his mom would never tell him much about why he left.

"Yea, I like art and math. I like to read too. Ms. French always tells us stories from books in the library and we eat snacks on the carpets. Once, she told us about this giant bugger man," he explained. "It was about a snot man who wanted to go in the swimming pool, but no one wanted to swim with snot in the water." Roland slapped his thigh and laughed. "It was funny."

Rob grinned and rested his hands on the desk, "The Adventures of Snot man and Oliver the Vampire."

With wide eyes, he smiled, "You read that book too?"

Rob laughed, "I did as a kid. It's good to hear your school picks good literature."

Roland glanced at the bookshelf, "You read too?"

"When I have the time, but I work a lot too. I work with the horses. Would you like to go for a ride?" Rob stood. Roland looked up as he towered over him. He was tall and big but the smile on his face told him he had nothing to fear.

"Can I ride Boulder?"

Rob's brows furrowed, "Boulder?'

Roland walked out of the office and pointed at the stall where the Bay was standing. "I named him Boulder because he looks strong."

Rob shook his head, "It's a good name. Sure. I'll saddle him up."

* * *

Regina and Betty sat in the kitchen drinking Tea. "How angry is he?"

Betty sighed, "As angry as I imagined. He's never spoken to me that way. Now, he's been out there all week without a word. I failed him."

Regina placed a hand on hers, "No, you didn't. This is my fault. I should never have asked you to keep my secret. I should've told him."

"You had your reasons dear," she said. "Why didn't you? When he got older, I mean," she asked.

The secrets she kept from Betty and most people sat on her tongue like acid. Speaking them aloud wasn't in her best interest. "I figured that I would tell him eventually, but I just couldn't. I guess I just prolonged the pain that I knew it would cause."

"Maybe in time, he'll forgive you. I know he will. Has he met Roland yet?"

"No, he asked me for space. So, I'm giving him space."

"He won't avoid us forever," she said.

Regina shrugged, "He has every right to be upset but I have other worries on my mind. My apartment is finally cleared after the police went in to investigate the break in. They didn't find anything." The pit of her stomach pinched. "I know that I shouldn't worry about being found here, but I'm worried," she admitted.

Betty squeezed her hand, "You're safe here, dear. You know that. Despite what's happened Jack and Rob wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"I know. I just wish I'd heard more about the hearing and I feel restless. I've hardly pitched in outside of the kitchen and I'm used to filling my days with meetings and court appearances. I struggle sitting still."

Betty laughed, "You always did."

"I'm trying to enjoy this before it ends, but I can't help but have this bad feeling." She rested a hand over the knots in her belly.

Jack came in the door and grabbed a cup of coffee. "Regina, Roland, and Rob went for a ride," he said.

"They did?" Alarmed she shot to her feet and ran to look out the living room window. Rob and Roland were on horseback heading down the same path she'd taken with him when she first arrived.

"He wanted to see the horses," Jack said behind her. "It was time they had some time to get to know each other. I suspect there are some jitters and some awkwardness. In time, they'll find their stride." He patted her on the shoulder and walked away.

Regina wasn't sure what would become of the two of them talking. Would they get along? Would Rob be angrier at her now that he'd gotten to talk to him? Was she doing the right thing bringing him here?

It was a swarm of questions she was trying desperately to ignore. As time clicked by, she had tea, ate lunch, and spent the next three hours in her cabin alone. She'd seen them come back and enter the house, but she wanted to give them their time.

Now, it was inching toward dinner and she wondered if she should stay away. Deciding to stick with a sandwich for dinner, she stayed in the cabin. Turning on the T.V. she settled on the news for comfort. Knowing what the world was up to gives her small little world perspective. Her problems weren't as bad as others.

Bombarded with adverts and infomercials, she turned off the set and settled in to read a book. Twenty minutes later, she set the book aside uninterested in the plot of a heartthrob vampire falling in love with a human. Instead, she showered, robed, and paced the room.

Then, when she felt the panic and stress eating her alive, the door swung open and Roland ran inside as she poked the fire. "Mom!" He bounded in with a grin and spoke so quickly, she had to focus to catch everything.

"Grampa Jack is the best; he took me to do chores and I was good at them. Then, he let me see the horses, I named one. His name is Boulder and he's little but mighty like me. I learned to put on his saddle and his bit, and he makes funny noises when he blows his lips together."

As Roland kept talking, Regina crossed her arms over her chest as Rob walked inside. He stood in the doorway as she glanced up. Roland kept on going, "I think he's my favorite horse ever. I rode to the road and I saw the ducks in the water, man do they make a lot of noise." He sat on the couch and took off his boots.

He tossed them aside and took off his socks. When he reached for his pants, she glanced at Rob who seemed to raise his brow at how oblivious her son was to be having an audience. "We went to that tree you took me to, and I picked you a flower, but Boulder ate it."

"That's alright, I'm sure he enjoyed it," she shook her head. Taking his clothes, he handed her his jeans, took off his shirt, and said, "I'm gonna shower, I smell like horses." He grinned at Rob who he seemed to have noticed for the first time. "Will you stay until I go to bed?"

Unsure, Rob shrugged, "Sure."

"Cool." His little feet padded toward the bedroom.

Regina turned to her son and followed him, "Dinosaurs, spaceships, or trucks?"

"Trucks!" He hopped in front of her and she took out his pajamas, underwear, and socks.

"Wash your hair and brush your teeth, young man."

He grumbled, "Okay, okay."

"I'll be checking," she called as he walked out of the room and into the bathroom.

"Can't a guy get some trust around here?"

Before he closed the door, she said, "When you earn it." The door closed harder than she liked but she let it go. Walking back into the room, nerves settled in her belly. Rob was sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his thighs.

To busy herself, she bent to pick up the boots and put them by the front door. The blanket from the back of the couch was wadded up on the seat. She picked it up, folded it, and draped in over the arm. Kneeling in front of the coffee table, she gathered up crayons and paper from this morning. Not able to look at him, she asked, "You alright?"

Continuing her task, she glanced at him. His eyes were a little unfocused, he seemed out of sorts. He rubbed his face with his hands, "I don't know."

When the crayons were in the container and the papers put away, she didn't have anything else to do. So, she stood and walked into the kitchen. "Thirsty?" She kept her back to him and for several seconds there was silence.

"No, thanks. Regina, he's incredible."

She turned around and wrapped her arms around herself. "I know. I'm sorry that I kept you from him for so long."

His head came up and he looked at her for a long time. Water ran in the bathroom and Roland was singing to himself. "I wish you hadn't, but I guess we'll have to move past that."

"We?"

He nodded, "I want to be part of his life." Regina's heart beat harder and she almost felt the beat encompass her when he said, "Of your life."

Disbelief surrounded her like a fog, he only wanted Roland. He had not interest in her, she told herself. Shifting her feet, she said, "I'm sure he'd like to see you more. I won't stand in your way; he needs a positive male role model."

"He's funny like my dad," he said softly.

"I think he gets that from Maggie," she smiled. "Sarcasm and slap comedy."

"He's smart and creative like you," he said as she met his eyes. "A little stubborn maybe too. But more than any of that, he's carefree and wild."

"Like you were," she said with a small smile. "I have my hands full," she shrugged. "It'll be good for him to get to know you."

"Yea, I'd like that if you'll let me."

"You're his father," she said pointedly.

Rob scratched the back of his neck, stood and walked toward her. "Listen, I owe you an apology."

She blinked. "Excuses me? I think I owe you the apology."

"This isn't about Roland," he said. He rested his hands on her shoulders as she jerked in response. He tightened his grip. "It's about the night I walked out of here. I had no right touching you." His jaw was set his eyes earnest. "I'm sorry."

Taken aback, she wasn't sure how to react. She swallowed and gave a quick nod. She tried to shrug it off, but he rested his brow to hers. "He has your eyes."

Tears formed in the back of her throat, she swallowed to keep them at bay. "Rob…"

Before she could say what was on the tip of her tongue, the bathroom door opened, and he stepped away. "All washed, brushed, and dressed." He spread his hands to reveal himself.

"Come here," she crooked her finger. He walked to her and stopped in front of her. "Open."

He opened his mouth, "Minty fresh."

"Alright, you pass," she kissed his head.

Roland turned to Rob, "Can you read me my bedtime story?" Regina hung back and let them do their thing.

"Sure, what's the story?" Roland took his hand and led him to the bed. Regina's heart hurt. Watching them together brought tears to her eyes. To hide her emotions, she sat on the living room couch and listened to the easy way Roland laid down without complaint.

Rob's easy voice read to him, Roland asked a few questions, but as time went on, only the story could be heard. Then, there was silence before Rob emerged and closed the door. He paused unsure of what to do and she understood the awkwardness.

"I think he's got that negotiation thing you were so good at. He drives a hard bargain."

Her lips curved upward, "Yes, he does but I don't give him an inch. You'll learn that when you do, he'll take a mile. Before you realize it, you're thousands of miles off coarse and you didn't realize it until it was too late."

"I'm not sure where we go from here," he admitted. "I want to spend time with him."

"Then, you will." Her hands clasped together as if it was settled. "We'll here a bit and you're welcome to see him when you have the time." It didn't mean he had to spend time with her, she reminded herself. He wanted his son and she had to accept that.

"Thanks," he said awkwardly.

Not meeting his eyes, she nodded. "I'm sure you'll have fun together. I'm sure your mother has plenty of things she needs help with. You won't even know I'm here." He gave a fake smile. "I'm sure you want to spend time alone and I'm inclined to agree."

"I guess some time alone with him would be nice," he said sliding his hands in his pockets. "I appreciate it."

"You don't have to ask," she said turning to pour a glass of water she didn't want. "You can do what you want and if you check in with our plans, it won't be an issue if you take him. Roland has a thing for cowboys. I'm sure he'll be entertained."

She felt him behind her, "What about you?" He was dangerously close; she could feel the heat of his body.

"What about me?" She forced herself to drink the water.

"You could spend time with us too, if you want," he said in her ear. Her eyes closed momentarily.

Shaking her head, she knew it was a bad idea. "I'm sure you don't want me around."

His hands took her shoulders and turned her around, looking directly into her eyes, "You're wrong. I've always wanted you around. This time is no different." She didn't want to believe him. He reached up and curled her hair behind her ear, "I have a lot of time to make up."

"With Roland," she finished.

"Yea, he's amazing. But I have other making up to do. With you," he kissed her forehead. "Can we start as friends? I need that from you for us to move on."

Regina nodded unable to speak.

"Good. I've got some pent-up anger to deal with, but I think for the sake of our situation, we should start as friends."

"Okay," she said. "Friends."

He squeezed her shoulder, "Good night." He turned to go, and she followed him to the door. When he walked out into the night, she closed the door and leaned against it. What they shared was complicated at best, but if she could be friends with him, or at least friendly, it would be simpler. So, she'd be his friend. They'd see where that goes.


	7. 7

Rob entered the kitchen after a morning full of training and juggling trail riding schedules. Betty stood at the stove heating up oatmeal. It destressed him that she didn't turn to greet him. That was on him. He knew he'd ignore her for two weeks. That stops now.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She startled and stumbled back into his chest. "Robby," she said with a wobbly voice.

"Can we sit and talk?" He released her and she nodded.

"Yes, we can. I have some things to say to you." Turning the fire off, she stirred the pot and placed the cover on top. At the table, she sat, and he could see her nerves and a bit of anger underneath. "Robby, before you talk, I have a few things I want to say."

"Alright."

"First, you are entitled to be mad at your dad and I. I don't deny that we kept Roland from you, but we did it for good reason. Regina was distraught when she called me. She was alone in that hospital room having just had a baby. Her father had died just months before and she couldn't face her mother's scrutiny."

Rob hated to picture Regina all alone having a baby with no support. It gutted him. "I could've been there."

"No, baby. You couldn't have. Do you know what you were doing when Roland was born?" Her eyes were direct on his but full of compassion.

"I don't remember," he admitted.

"Well, I do. You were sneaking around with any girl you could get in your bunk."

His stomach dropped and his cheeks warmed, "I was not." He hated to admit that after Regina left, he'd lost his mind and spent his time hopping from girl to girl to try to forget her. It didn't work.

Betty sighed, "You were lost, Robby. I sent your dad to go be with her and I stayed here to be with you. I had to keep an eye on you." Her hand settled on his, "I want you to know that I felt guilty keeping it from you, but she had a lot on her plate. You weren't in the headspace to deal with a baby. She barely did and she was too embarrassed to come to us."

"I…" He squeezed her hand. "I was lost. I wanted her and she didn't want me. I thought she stopped writing because she'd decided that she didn't want anything to do with me."

"That's not true. Regina is head headed and stubborn, but there was more Robby. I told her what you'd been up to." Shame washed over her face.

"You what?!" His neck hardened.

"I'm sorry, but you were spiraling, you'd stopped coming home at night. I didn't know where you'd be half the time. That was no life to give a newborn. So, we helped her financially support the baby. We got her a place, a babysitting service, and we helped her finish school."

He sat speechless.

"I didn't know she'd keep it from you forever. When you'd stopped disappearing and got your head on straight, I urged her to tell you. Jack went to see her and tried to reason with her."

"Why didn't she tell me then?"

"I don't know. By then, she'd finished school, passed the bar, and had started working at the district attorney's office. I couldn't get through to her. Roland was three years old and she was determined to raise him alone. She told me that she didn't want to disrupt his life or yours."

"So, you just went along?" He pulled his hand away and sat back like she'd slapped him. He knew what Maggie had disclosed, but he'd be damned if he told his mother or admitted to Regina that he knew. "I wish I'd known."

"I know and I'm sorry, Robby. I respected Regina's wishes. She's been like a daughter to us. You know how much we love her."

"I know."

"Seeing how desperate she was…" she shrugged. "I couldn't betray that. It was a losing battle for me. I wanted to respect her wishes but it's been eating us alive that we couldn't tell you about that amazing boy."

He closed his eyes, "He is amazing."

"Yes, he is. I'm proud of the job Regina has done. I've seen you with him this last week and I'm glad you get to finally see how much he is like you."

He stood and rubbed the back of his neck, "It isn't enough. I just…I missed out on so much."

"Yes, but you have the rest of his life to be a father to him. To be the man that I know you are and show that boy that you deserve to be in the center of his like your father was for you." He looked at his sweet mother in her polka dot apron over a pale pink dress. Her hair pinned to her head; she was the same woman he loved.

"I'm sorry how I talked to you. I was angry. I _am_ angry about all of this." He sat back down and took her hand, "But I don't blame you for having reasons."

Her shoulders fell in relief, "I'm sorry, Robby. I truly am."

He pulled her hand to his lips, "I know. Regina and I have some stuff to work out, but I know it's gonna take time."

"Her heart was in the right place, but with the trouble she'd stumbled into, I'm not sure what is eating her more. You or her trouble."

"We'll have to let her deal with that on her own. That's her business, but I'm not gonna let anything happen to them. I promise."

Betty smiled, "Did you tell her that?"

"No."

"Maybe you should. She needs you in her corner, Robby. Try not to be too angry with her. She's had a tough life and he's not as strong as she pretends to be."

He nodded. He knew what he'd endured, and he knew there was more going on. He'd let her tell him on her terms. Right now, they were doing okay. He'd spent the week with Roland, and she'd been working on her laptop at night. He'd yet to speak to her, but he knew a conversation was coming soon.

…

* * *

Regina paced the cabin with the phone to her ear, her other hand fisted at her side. "I'd like an update on his status. No one will tell me anything."

"I'm sorry, Regina. I've been instructed not to give any information out. You'll hear something soon."

"Carla, I need to know. I don't feel safe. Martinez was supposed to have a hearing two weeks ago!"

"I know. I promise you'll hear something. I promise I'll let you know as soon as I'm able. You're safe for now. If you were at risk, I'd tell you."

"Don't wait to tell me bad news, Carla. My son is with me and he's my priority."

Carla sighed, "You can trust me."

Regina hung up and sunk into the sofa. Throwing her phone on the table, it clashed, and her book fell on the floor followed by the cup full of pencils as the door opened and Roland and Rob came in. "Hey, mom."

Rob gave her a strange look and her face heated. Taking a deep breath, she turned, "Hey, baby."

"I got to help Tucker mucking out stalls. The poop smells, but dad says that you can't work on a ranch without having to pick it up." He'd started calling Rob dad the other day and it gave her a jolt every time.

"He's right," she said standing up and picking up the book off the floor. She organized the pencils she'd dropped and plucked her phone up off the table and stuck it in her pocket. "How's Boulder?"

"Oh, he's great. I got to give him honey and he loved it. I got to watch dad work with Dante. He hates the saddle, but he didn't buck it off this time." He turned to Rob, "When can I ride him?"

Rob chuckled, "Never."

"Why not?" Roland pouted as he tried to look incredulously.

"He's too dangerous and you're not experienced enough to ride a horse like that. Plus," he glanced at Regina. "Your mom would kill me if I let you."

"Right again," she glared. "Roland, wash your hands."

He walked to the sink and washed but kept on talking, "I could ride him, I just need some time to get to know him."

Regina tried to be patient, but she was reeling from not knowing what was going on with Martinez. He could be out on bond or out and she wasn't privy to the knowledge.

"We'll see buddy," Rob said as he walked toward her. In her ear, he asked, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said stepping back and turning her back on him. In the kitchen, she pulled out ingredients to make sandwiches. "You want one?"

"Sure." Rob washed his hands and helped Roland set the table. As they sat, the boys talked about Roland's latest art project.

"I think if I used the branches and twigs, I could make a big log cabin like this one. You wanna help, mom?"

"Help with what?" She put his plate in front of him.

He took a big bite and talked around his food, "Make a cabin out of stuff we find."

"Don't eat with your mouth full," Rob scolded. Regina stopped and stared at him. "God, I just sounded like my mother."

Regina laughed, "Yes, you did but you're right." She looked at Roland, "You know better." She put a plate in front of Rob and turned to pull out the salad she'd made the day before. "And sure, I'll help as much as I can. We can count that as your liberal arts summer credit."

Rob's brow rose and he looked at her with questioning eyes. "Credit?"

Regina nodded, "Roland goes to Brickford Academy. The summer credits count for the school year. If they get enough credits, he earns a vacation during Christmas."

"Fancy," he commented. "You like your school?"

Roland shrugged, "It's cool. I have friends like Jeremy, and we get to do all sorts of cool stuff."

"Like what?" He took a bite and thanked Regina for the food.

"Jeremy is older, and we play soccer. I like to run, and I got good at goalie but I'm too small," he frowned.

"You are not too small, baby. You're too young. Give it another year or two and you can try out again," she ruffled his hair.

Rob smiled, "Soccer? I hate running."

"Once you get used to it, it's not so bad." Roland took the last bite of his sandwich and drank down his milk. "Can I go now?"

"No. You have your math homework to finish."

He sighed heavily and scraped the chair back, "I thought you forgot."

"Not a chance. Get to it," she pointed at the bedroom. "I'll check it when you're done."

"Alright. Bye, dad." When Roland walked to the room, he shut the door.

They ate in silence and she could feel him watching her. "Are you sure you're alright? I don't want to pry but you look upset."

Daring to trust him, she caved, "My client was supposed to have a hearing a couple weeks ago, but my office refuses to give me any information about how it went."

"Why not?"

"Because they know that I'll leave here and go back to work," she admitted. She glanced at the bedroom, "I can't do that until I know that we're safe."

Rob put his hand over hers, "I won't let anything happen to you."

She met his eyes, "You can't promise that."

He squeezed her hand, "While you're here, yes I can. You're safe here."

Closing her eyes, she wanted to believe him but there was a feeling in her gut that didn't sit right with her. Something was off. Shaking her head, she tried to pull her hand away, but he held it tight. "Rob, I don't know what to think. They never keep things from me."

"Who else could tell you the information?"

She swallowed. "There is someone, but I'd rather not ask." A shudder went down her body to think of Jaden O'Malley. She'd avoided him for a few months, and he hadn't propositioned her. So, she didn't want to knock on that door.

"Alright. Do you wanna tell me why?" He looked so patient and understanding. She couldn't tell him the shameful ways she'd used her body to get ahead in her career. He'd never look at her the same.

Shaking her head, "He's an old colleague."

"Okay. So, we'll wait." He scooted his chair next to hers. "It's gonna be okay." He took her into his arms. She inhaled a deep breath. "You're shaking, Regina."

"I know."

He squeezed her tighter. "I wish you trust me enough to tell me why you're so scared."

"It's not that I don't trust you," she managed. For a week, he'd been trying to be friends, but she'd kept her distance. He'd taken Roland out; she'd stayed behind to do as much research as she could. She searched the newspapers, online blogs, and watched as many local news stations to get a glimpse of Martinez' case.

All of it had been in vain. She'd tried to gather information, but it wasn't public knowledge. When his hands were moving comfortingly along her back, she allowed her head to fall on his shoulder. It felt good to have somewhere to turn when she was all churned up.

He pulled back and kept an arm around her, "Try me."

Shame filled her as it always had when she thought of Jaden and the ways he'd manipulated her. "He was my boss before I worked at the district attorney's office. I consult with his office from time to time, but it's been a few months."

His fingers trailed softly along her shoulder. "I'm sensing there's more to the story."

"It was a mistake," she admitted. He'd been so charming at first, took time and interest in her and work. She'd been so stupid.

"We all make them." His fingers continued along her neck and into her hair. Tingling took over her scalp and down her neck, she took an unsteady breath. "That doesn't explain why you're scared, or is that unrelated?"

A shudder moved through her and proved that she couldn't hide her feelings. "I don't think…"

He tightened his grip on her neck when she tried to pull away. "Don't push me away. I know I don't deserve it, but I'd like to know what's scaring you." He loosened his grip. "I don't like seeing that look in your eyes." He paused and a look of horror flickered on his face. "Is it me that you're afraid of?"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm not afraid of you, Robin. Not like that," she amended.

"But you are afraid of me?" He released her and scooted over. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'd never want to do that."

She frowned and stood to clear their plates. "I'm not afraid of you, it's not you at all. It's this damn investigation and I have things that I don't want to talk about." She rinsed out her glass and set it in the sink. Turning, she sighed, "Martinez was supposed to be arraigned and I need to find out if he's out of jail or not."

"How would you find out?" His nervous hand was sliding through his hair. A habit he never could break.

"I may have to reach out to my old boss at some point if I'm desperate. Right now, I'd rather avoid it."

"Because? What is it about him that scares you?" His face changed; his eyes hardened. "Did he do something to you?"

Her throat closed and she tried to swallow the dread that crept up. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Regina." He stood and stalked toward her and took her by the shoulders. "Maggie warned me that you were in trouble. Is this part of it?"

"Maggie?" Alarmed, her eyes widened. "What did she say?" Her stomach flipped.

"Enough for me to worry about you, but I didn't think it was any of my business. I haven't been a part of your life, but you know how I feel about you." His eyes bore into hers. "I want to help you."

"What did Maggie say?" Her head was light, her stomach uneasy, and her skin itchy.

"That you were in trouble and that you've got scars. That you were being harassed by someone. She didn't go into much detail. Is it him? Your old boss?"

"What did she say about him?" Tears clogged her throat and she knew she would lose it in a second. Anger coursed through her veins, she hit him in the chest. "What do you know?!"

"Don't hit me," he tightened his grip on her arms. "And keep it down, I don't want Roland to come in here."

"Tell me," she said through her teeth. Tears filled her eyes, but she kept them in. "Please."

His eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't quite peg, "She told me that some guy named Jared O'Malley manipulated you. That he used you. That you moved to the district attorney's office to get away from him but that he kept coming back and that you were afraid of him."

"God," she whirled away and walked to the counter. With her back to him, she shook her head. "She had no right to tell you any of that. Not that she knows the whole truth."

His voice came behind her and she jumped, "What is the whole truth?" He turned her, "You won't get any judgment from me, Regina. You've had a life elsewhere. I'm not gonna make you feel bad about what you've been up to in the last decade."

He kept his distance and she appreciates it. "I couldn't get a job and I didn't want to ask anyone for help. So, I took an offer that would get me the job I needed."

"What offer?"

Avoiding his eyes, she said, "It doesn't matter. It's over and I'm not the same person I was."

"What offer, Regina?"

She looked him dead in the eyes, her nostrils flared, "He gave me a job and I became his whore." He flinched. "I was available to him when he needed me, and I kept my job. I did what I had to do to survive. For Roland."

"You're not a whore."

The tears she held in finally fell, "I was and I'm ashamed to admit it. I'm ashamed that I let it go on for so long, I'm ashamed that I had to provide a life for my son and leave him with strangers while I got fucked in the back of a car, or his office, or the breakroom, or at his house on his wife's vanity."

"Stop it," he looked sick to his stomach.

"I didn't have a choice when or where. I did what I was told, or I'd lose my job, lose my home, and lose my son." She was nearly sobbing. Taking a deep breath, she reigned it in. Shaking she said, "It took me some time to save up enough money to financially support us. Then, I got out."

"You got out?" His voice was weak.

"I quit and got a job at the district attorney's office, but I still ran into him from time to time. He kept making advances and I kept turning him down. Then, he came at me with…" She shut her trap.

"With what?"

Before she had to answer, Roland opened the door and said, "All finished. You wanna check it?"

Rob said low so only she could hear, "We're not done talking."

Regina went after Roland and was glad when Rob said he had to get back to work. For now, she could breathe and avoid this conversation.


	8. 8

At dinner, Rob watched Regina out the corner of his eye while he conversed with Jack about the upcoming orders. She’d nearly revealed the secret she’s been holding in and he was determined to get it out of her.

“Are you listening to me?” He shook his head to look at Jack’s impatient face.

“Sorry, what?” He took a bite of his mother’s meatloaf.

“When do you have a free day to go over the new trails?”

“Um…” He thought about his schedule. “I can do Sunday.”

“Alright, after church will have to do.” He noticed Rob’s attention was on Regina and not in the sexual way it had been when he was a teenager. Under his breath, he asked, “You gonna tell me why you’re looking at her like you want to take her head off?”

Rob jerked back, “No.” His jaw ticked, and he shoveled another bite in his mouth to keep his silence.

Jack stood and took his empty plate in the sink. Roland said, “Grandpa, can I do night check with you?”

“If your mom says it’s okay.” Roland turned his eyes to Regina and gave that puppy dog look that didn’t work on her. Most of the time.

“Go on,” she urged to involved in her talk with Betty on landscaping and on my mother’s idea of putting in a pond.

When they walked outside, Rob took the opportunity to get her alone. “I’d like to finish our conversation from earlier.”

“That’s not necessary,” she said through her teeth.

Betty took the hint, “I’ll just go water my plants.” She left the room after putting the food away and piling the dirty dishes in the sink.

“Finish telling me what you started to say,” he kept her gaze.

“It was nothing.”

“No, it wasn’t. You’re afraid of that asshole and I want to know why.” He dropped his fork and it clattered on the plate. “He came at you with what?”

“Rob, please.” Her cheeks flushed and shame covered her face.

“No judgment, remember?” He was sick and tired of that look on her face.

“You make it sound so easy. I know inside of your head; you’re trying to make it sound like I was goaded into it. I was given a choice. You want me to be that girl you knew, and I told you that I’m not. I made a mistake and I’m paying for it. Let’s just leave it at that.”

“Let’s not,” he said. “I want to know what you resorted to because I was too stupid to let you go.”

She sat back and expelled a breath. “We were kids. How many times do I have to rehash that?”

“Fine. I want to know what you had to do to raise my son.” That was a direct hit by the look on her face. He raised his brow in challenge.

“I told you what I did. It’s over, it’s been over for three years. I’m not going to apologize because I have provided him with whatever he needed.”

“Except his father,” he said quietly. He took her hand, “Why are you scared of him if it’s been over for three years?”

That look of shame came over her face again and it angered him. Her eyes settled on the table. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” He squeezed her hand, so she’d look at him. “I don’t like the way you see yourself. If I have to hear you call yourself a whore one more time, I might do something irrational.”

“Like what?” Her stubborn chin jutted out.

“Like find the asshole you made you feel that way and give him a piece of my mind, maybe my fist.”

The color drained out of her face, “You wouldn’t.”

“The hell I wouldn’t. What does he have on you?” When she pulled her hand away and stood, he followed her. “Tell me.”

When she put her dishes away, she made for the door, “No.”

Out under the black sky, it was dark. The wind surrounded them as he followed her. “I’m not going to let this go,” he said behind her. He could smell the rain coming in. Glancing around, he noticed something not right.

“You’re going to have to because I’m not…” He took her arm and pushed her behind him. “What are you doing?”

“Shh.” He put a finger over her lips and gestured to the cabin. The front door was ajar and the sound of rustling inside could be heard. When the glass broke, he pushed her and made her walk around the side of the house into the bushes. He pulled out his phone and texted Jack to call 911.

Regina was shaking in his arms and he pulled her into his side to comfort argument forgotten. “Where’s Roland?” Her eyes were looking around wildly.

“He’s with dad. He’s fine,” he promised. He held her tightly against his side as he kept his phone out. They watched as a man came out of the cabin and looked around. The door was pulled shut and the man jogged into the trees. “You’re going to stay right here.”

“No, don’t leave me,” she clung to him. Her face was pale, her eyes full of fear, he relented.

“Alright, come on.” He took her hand and led her into the house. “Mom?”

Betty yelled, “In the parlor, dear.”

“We have to call the police,” her voice shook. He ushered her into the living room and wrapped a blanket over her shoulders.

“I already told dad to call.” He gestured to his phone. “Stay here. I’m gonna lock the door and I don’t want you to open it unless I key in. Okay?” He rubbed her upper arms to create warmth. “Say it,” he said when she only nodded.

“I won’t open the door,” her teeth were chattering. “I want my baby,” she said weakly.

“I’ll go get him.” He kissed her forehead and walked out the front door. He used his key to lock the deadbolt and headed to the barn. Jack was inside the office with Roland occupied with a shark book. “ETA?”

“Ten minutes,” Jack said in a low voice so Roland wouldn’t overhear. “What did you see?”

They walked to the bookshelf with their backs to the boy. “He came out and jogged toward the Menard property. I’d say he has a car nearby; I doubt they’ll find him.”

Jack nodded, “How is she?”

“A wreck. I promised to take Roland to her, she’s pretty shook up.”

“Good idea. Go. I’ll let you know when they get here.” When he turned to go, Jack took his arm to stop him. Their eyes met, “Do you love her?”

Rob swallowed, “You know I do.”

“Then after tonight, you need to take her out of here,” he said. “This place has been compromised; she won’t feel safe here.”

Rob’s gut sunk. “I can’t just leave my work.”

“I’ll take care of it. You take your family and you protect them.” The steel look in his eyes told Rob that he was serious.

“Where would I take them?”

“You have a few hideouts,” he said. “Don’t tell me where you’re going. Just go.”

“Dad…”

Jack sighed, “I screwed up keeping her secret and hurting you. I won’t do that again. You need to see this through and keep them out of sight. You understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” Jack brought him in for a hug.

Rob took Roland to the house and kept watch on Regina. Her color seemed to come back a little when she had her boy next to her. When the police arrived, he knelt in front of her. “I’m gonna go deal with this. After, I need you to pack your things.”

“What?”

“We’re leaving,” he stated.

“Where?” Her eyes searched his.

“I have a place in mind. I told you, you were safe here. That’s no longer the case. So, I’m taking you out of here.” He took her face in his hands. “I promised to keep you safe and I intend to keep that promise.” He glanced at Roland who was staring at him. “It’s gonna be okay, buddy.”

He nodded and clung to Regina. Rob leaned in and kissed Regina’s lips softly. “I’ll be right back.”

Outside, the police were taking pictures, dusting for prints, and moving through the cabin. An officer came to him, “You Robin Ross?”

“Rob,” he clarified.

“Officer Holmes.” He flashed his badge. “What did you see tonight Rob?”

“I was walking our guest to her cabin when I noticed the door was open. I heard stuff being thrown around, glass breaking, we moved to the bushes over there,” he pointed. “I noticed a guy about my height, wearing dark clothes, jog out into the trees that way,” he pointed. “I texted my dad to call the uniforms and I took my guest into the house through the backdoor.”

The officer nodded, “Alright. It looks like a computer was dropped and the screen shattered. Other than that, it looks like someone was trying to find something.”

Rob didn’t have a response to that. “How long until my guests can pack their things?”

“Should only take a bit. I’ll want to question your guest if that’s alright.”

His stomach tightened, but he nodded, and the officer followed him to the backdoor. He keyed in and they walked to the living room. Regina was still where he’d left her. “Regina.”

Her head turned and landed on the officer. “Hi, ma’am. I’m officer Holmes. Can you tell me what you saw tonight?” Rob walked to her and sat beside her, took her into the crook of his arm for support.

“I was going back to the cabin after dinner and I didn’t notice anything until Rob pointed at the door being open. I heard moving around and then it sounded like glass shattered. So, we ran to the side of the house and I saw a man,” she paused and closed her eyes. “Just for a second before he ran off.”

“Did you recognize this man?”

“I…” She shook her head, “It was too dark to see his face, but…”

Rob squeezed her shoulder.

Officer Holmes urged her, “But, what?”

“The jacket looked familiar,” she said in a small voice. “Like I’d seen it somewhere before.”

“In a store? On a person?”

“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m not much more help.”

“That’s quite alright. You sit tight and we’ll be out of your hair in no time.” The officer went through the kitchen and out the backdoor.

Rob turned her, “You know who it is?”

“No, but that jacket…” She looked tired and worn out.

“Come on, I’ll take you upstairs to rest.” He brought her up and Roland followed them up the stairs silently. When he showed them the bedroom, Roland crawled into the bed and closed his eyes. “Lie down,” he urged her.

“Okay, Rob?” Her hands tightened on his arms.

“Hmm?”

“I…I want to tell you, but I’m too embarrassed. Okay?”

He tucked her hair behind her ear and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I’m patient and you will tell me, in time. Now, go lie down.” He kissed her temple before closing the door.

…

Regina looked around the cabin three hours after the police finally cleared her to go in. Her computer was broken, but she’d kept what was important backed up, so it wasn’t a loss. Her drawers were scattered with things thrown on the floor, they were all in disarray.

In the bedroom, the mattress looked like it had been flipped, her clothes were on the ground with hangers all tangled up. Roland’s backpack was emptied and inside out, his books were strewn about. Tears stung her eyes to see his pajamas on the floor.

“Why would someone do this?” She bent to pick up his shirt and brought it to her chest. “I don’t have anything to warrant this.”

Rob started to pick up Roland’s things and folding them into his suitcase. “What about files from work?”

She shook her head and started to gather her clothes. “I don’t keep that on my personal laptop. All of them are at the district attorney’s office on a computer with security measures.”

They packed for a few minutes in silence. “I keep thinking of that jacket and it is driving me crazy.” Sinking to the floor, she picked up the pile of clothes and dumped them on the bed to fold.

“All I saw was black. What about the jacket was memorable?”

Closing her eyes, she brought the image of the man in her mind. “On the front left side, there was a logo. A white horse over some lettering. I know I know that symbol, I just can’t place it.”

“You’ll think better after you’ve had more sleep. Come on, let’s get your stuff and go. I want to be out before the sun rises,” he zipped Roland’s bag up and set it by the door. His backpack was next, he went around and shoved things inside and put it next to the suitcase. “Ready?”

“Bathroom,” she said walking to the door. Rob helped her gather all her things and put them in a bag. When all their things were gathered, he took Roland’s things while he rolled her bags toward his truck.

“I’ll go get Roland,” he said opening the door. “Get in.”

She stepped in and he locked the door. She watched him walk back into the house and wondered what was about to happen. Where were they going? He refused to say. Closing her eyes, she breathed deep and hoped they’d be safe.

…

Rob drove while Regina and Roland slept soundly in the car. He kept the radio off and opened the window to get a little fresh air. The destination he had in mind was secluded and protected. No one would be able to get close without him knowing it.

A house on a hill he’d purchased last year without his parent’s knowledge. It was about twenty-five miles from Ross ranch. The house was encased in tall cicadas and pines. A view of the mountains and valleys had drawn him in. The land was fertile, and the barn freshly painted.

As he drove down the long narrow lane, he knew it was hidden from the roads. You’d have to know there was a resident inside to wander into the property. The headlights shone through the night illuminating the tire swings on the trees, the pond that he planned on fixing up, and the house.

Beyond the trees, he pulled up into the driveway and stopped in front of the door. He left the truck running while he went inside and turned on the outside lights. At the truck, he turned off the ignition and walked to the passenger side of the vehicle.

Opening the door, Regina’s eyes snapped open. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere safe. Come on, it’s cold out here.”

He carried Roland in the house and told Regina to make herself at home. He started a fire before grabbing the bags from the truck. Regina and Roland stood in the middle of the room.

He took the white covers that were draped over the furniture and wadded them up. “Sit down, I’ll be right back.”

Upstairs, he opened the guest bedroom and put clean bedding on the twin bed. He’d purchased the house and furnished it with a future family in mind. He had no idea that he’d be using it now. When he ensured the bed was made and ready, he turned on a small light.

Another bedroom held a queen size bed and he put new bedding with Regina in mind. He would have to take a trip into town for essentials in the morning, but it would do for tonight.

In the master, he turned on the light and made the bed. He glanced out the window and was relieved that the house wasn’t visible to the road. The trees were too tall to see past.

Downstairs, he found them where he’d left them. He picked up Roland who was fighting sleep. “Come on, buddy. I’ve got a bed ready for you.” After putting him in bed, he made his way downstairs. Sitting next to Regina, he asked, “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know. What is this place?”

Looking around, he shrugged, “It’s mine.”

“You bought a house? When?”

“Last year,” he said stretching his legs out to catch the heat of the fire. “I was restless living in my parent’s house, so I saved up. This place was foreclosed by the previous owners. I got a good deal on it. It was a steal really.”

“It’s beautiful,” she said eyes trained on the kitchen.

“It’s great.” Deep down, he realized he’d chosen the house because it was everything they’d talked about as kids. It was four bedrooms, there was a den, a kitchen, a bay window for seating, and a three seasoned room off he back, and it was off the beaten path.

There were little things he’d change but he saw Regina when he bought it. Seeing her sitting on the couch in the home he always wanted with her did something to his insides. “I figured eventually I’d have my own place. It’s close enough to the ranch to continue our programs. I could do something here when the time seems right.”

“What would you do?” She hugged her arms to her body.

Taking blanket off the back of the couch, he draped it over her shoulders. “I’ve got ideas, but none that would be profitable by any means for the next dozen years. I guess I’d start with a few horses. See where that leads me. I’ve always thought of having my own rescue.”

“Saving the animals that no one wants,” she echoed him form years ago.

He grinned, “Yea. Something like that.”

“You always knew what you wanted,” she said frowning. “I’ve always drifted in that regard. Life is complicated.”

“Yea, it is,” he admitted. “More for some than others.” His eyes met hers. “I’m sorry that we had to leave the ranch so suddenly, but I didn’t want to take the chance of them coming back.”

“It feels wrong,” she bit out. “You shouldn’t have to put yourself at risk for me.”

He took her hand, “I’m doing it for both of you. I promised.”

“Thank you, Robin. I know we’ve been a handful and I haven’t been forthcoming with everything.”

“I want to know, Regina. I really do but I’m not going to push you. This house is secluded, and you can’t see the house from the road. You’ve gotta drive a quarter of a mile up until you see the house through the trees. We’d hear someone coming. You’re safe here.”

“That’s what you said before.”

“You’re right, but I’m gonna do what I can to ensure that we don’t take any chances. For now, it’s late and you need to get some sleep.”

Glancing upstairs, she fidgeted. “What are the sleeping arrangements?”

He blinked. “I have a room set up for you,” he said. “What did you think I was gonna ask you to sleep with me?”

Shaking her head, she shrugged, “Sorry. I just…”

He put his hand on her shoulder, “You have your own room next to Roland’s. There’s a lock on the door if that makes you feel better.” He smirked as he helped her to her feet.

Locking the door, he turned off the lights and led her up the stairs. He pointed out the room where Roland slept. At the room next door, he stopped. “This is for you,” he gestured. “I’ll have to go down to the store in the morning for food and other things, but for tonight it’s all I could do.”

Turning, she gave him a small smile. “Thank you.” Leaning in she kissed his cheek. “Good night.”

“Good night,” he said as she closed the door. In the master, he chucked off his shoes and his jeans and climbed under the covers. He stared at the ceiling for far too long thinking about him and Regina sleeping under the same roof.

He had to figure out what the hell he was going to do with them here. If he had to spend too much time alone with her, he feared his resolve would crack. He closed his eyes and surrendered to darkness. 


	9. 9

Rob woke early and peeked inside to see Roland sitting on the edge of the bed. He turned his head, “Where are we?”

Sitting on the bed, he ruffled his hair, “I know it was scary leaving in the middle of the night. This is my house, buddy.”

“Yours? Don’t you live with Grandpa and Grandma?” His brow creased and his curls were unruly, there was sleep in his eyes.

“I do for now, but I bought this house. This is the first time I’ve slept here in a while,” he admitted. “What do you think?”

“It’s bigger than the room I had back home,” he said. “Mom told me that when she had money to buy a house, I would have a bigger room. I could fit all my stuff in here and the bookshelf I wanted.”

“Bookshelf?”

“Yea, I wanted this bookshelf that looks like Spiderman. It’s painted blue and even has legs for small books. Mom said she’d get it for me, but we didn’t have room in our apartment.”

Rob filed that away for later, for now, he needed to get going into town. “I’m gonna go into town to get some food and supplies we’ll need. Anything you like to eat?”

“Mom always buys me apple juice, sandwiches, and oranges. She says that eating healthy will make me strong, but I like to eat ding dongs and twinkies and sometimes cookies. Mom says I can’t because it’ll ruin my dinner,” he pouts.

Rob laughed. “How about we compromise? I’ll get all those things if you promise not to eat them unless mom says it’s okay. Deal?”

Roland’s face lights up, “Deal. Yes!” He does a fist pump. “What should I do until you come back?”

“Well, I don’t want you to wake your mom up. She was upset last night, and I want her to sleep as much as she can. I’d take you with me, but I don’t want your mom to wake up alone.”

Roland looks out the window, “Okay. Can I call aunt Maggie?”

“Why don’t you ask your mom when she wakes up?” Rob stood. “I won’t be long. If you want, you can look around the house. It’s big.” He hadn’t the clue how to take care of kids. He never had to before and he was terrified he’d screw it up. “Be back.”

Roland nodded as Rob back out the door. He scrawled a note to leave on the kitchen counter for Regina and drove into town. He took the south road that was bumpier and harder to navigate to get to the main road. In town, he loaded up the cart with groceries and household items he’d need. He went to the hardware store and did the same. When his truck was loaded, he stopped at a local diner and grabbed breakfast to go.

Before he drove out of the parking lot, he spotted a black SUV a few spots behind him. When he pulled out onto the street, it followed him. He took the turn toward the house and the back of his neck prickled when the SUV gained on him. He was in over his head. He took a turn on a road on impulse and sped up.

He’d be damned to let them follow him home. Panic set in when the SUV sped up and rammed into the back of his truck. Rob cursed when his head smashed forward into the window.

Gripping the wheel tight, he gunned the engine and took off as fast as the truck would go down a dirt road. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a driveway and took a chance and turned into it.

The driveway was narrow, and the SUV sped by him as he came to a stop under an unkept weeping willow. His heart was in his throat, his head was pounding from adrenaline and he brought his hand to his scalp. His hand came away with blood and he shook his head to clear the fog.

Taking a few shallow breaths, his vision danced for a second. He pulled his phone out of his jeans and dialed. 

…

Regina’s stomach was in knots as she stared out the window. Two hours ago, she’d received a text from Robin to let her know that he’d be back soon. Roland sat at the kitchen table drawing and watching something on his tablet using the hotspot on Regina’s phone.

There wasn’t anywhere to go, so she had no choice but to wait. As she did, she decided to finally call Maggie. After she told Robin about Jaden, she’d been avoiding her calls. Walking out of the room, she sat on the steps of the stairs.

“Regina?”

“Yea.”

“Oh, god. I’ve been so worried about you. Why haven’t you called me back?”

Regina sighed, “Because I was mad at you. How could you talk to Robin about Jaden? You had no right, Maggie.”

“I’m sorry, G. I know how you feel about him and I didn’t feel right leaving you out on a ranch in the middle of nowhere without making sure he takes care of you.”

“That’s not your choice, Mags. I don’t want to tell him about Jaden or any other stupid decisions I’ve made when it comes to men. How do you think that would make him feel?”

“I’m sorry.”

“He’s breathing down my back to tell him the whole story, but I haven’t told you. How am I going to tell him?”

“Wait,” she breathes. “What haven’t you told me? I thought we tell each other everything, G.” She sounds hurt.

“Some things are embarrassing, humiliating, mortifying to tell anyone let alone your best friend.”

“Is it worse than you sleeping with Jaden?”

“Much worse,” she whispers.

Maggie sighed, “I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready. What’s going on at the ranch? How’s it going with Robin?”

“It’s complicated. I’ll tell you everything later. I promise.”

“I love you, G.”

“I love you, too. Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

Regina took a breath. “Can you call Carla and see if you can find anything out about Martinez?”

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

Maggie paused. “Martinez was sentenced to life in jail without parole. He’s was held on bail and after sentencing, he was transferred to the men’s penitentiary. He’s not getting out, Regina.”

Then who was doing this? Jaden? Her stomach twists, “Thanks, Maggie.”

“I’ll talk to you later, be safe.”

When the line goes dead, Regina pulls her knees up and rests her head on them. She’s not sure how long she sits there before she hears Robin’s truck pull up into the driveway.

…

Rob shut off the engine and got out of the truck. After being seen by a doctor and re-shopping for groceries, he was beat. His head was aching from the pain and the stitches were itchy. Getting out of the truck, he lowered the bed and grabbed a handful of bags.

The front door opened as Roland stepped outside, “Hey, dad. What took you so long. I’m hungry.”

“Sorry, buddy. I had a hiccup. Here, help me take a few of these.” He handed off a few and followed Roland into the house. Regina was sitting on the stairs her eyes widened when she saw the bandage on his head. “I’ll explain later,” he said nodding towards the kitchen.

Nodding, she stood and walked outside to help him bring things in. When he went out for another load, she said, “Sit down. I’ll take care of these.”

“Thanks,” he sat and closed his eyes. The pain meds were already wearing off.

In the kitchen, Roland yelled, “You got Spiderman cookies?! Best dad ever!”

He laughed. “Is it that easy to win you over?”

“Yea, Spiderman is the best!”

“You have to eat real food first,” he hears Regina say. He closes his eyes and doesn’t realize he’d dozed off until he feels a hand on his head. When he opens his eyes, Regina is taking off the bandage. “What happened?”

She’s got gauze in her hand and the medicine the doctor’s put in a bag before he’d left the hospital. “I’ll be okay. Where’s Roland?”

“I sent him upstairs to bed. You’ve been out all day,” she explains.

He frowns, “What time is it?”

“Almost nine.”

“What?” He starts to get up but winces at the pain and sinks back down. “God, that hurts.”

“Here.” She puts two pills in his hand and offers a glass of water. “I read the paperwork and it says you should take pain meds every four hours, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

Swallowing the pills, he drinks the glass until it’s empty and hands it back to her. “Thanks.”

“What happened?”

Taking a breath, he sighs, “I was pulling out of the dinner. I bought us breakfast, but I had to throw it out.”

“Oh, we managed.”

“I pulled out and noticed a black SUV following me. I thought it was a fluke until he rammed into the back of my truck.”

“Is that what those scratches are?” Her eyes widened.

He took her hand, “Yea, I smacked my head against the window and took a turn into an abandoned driveway. I got away, but I was pretty messed up.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, “This is all my fault.”

“Why?”

“I know who is doing this.”

He squeezed her hand, “Who?”

“It has to be Jaden. Martinez was given life, he’s already in prison.”

“Are you sure?”

Nodding, a tear slid down her cheek. “Yea, it has to be. I just…I need to call him.”

“Okay…” What the hell was going on? “Why won’t you tell me what’s scaring you. Look at you,” he gestured. Her body was shaking, her face pale. “You’re terrified.”

Springing to her feet, she walked to the window. “I need to call him, and I need to do it alone. I’ll tell you; I promise. But I need to deal with this first before I air out my dirty laundry to you.”

“Regina, I told you I wouldn’t judge you. Why don’t you believe me?” She looked back at him with misery in her eyes.

“It’s too much for anyone to bare.” Closing her eyes, she turned her back on him. “I need time. Can you give me that?”

“Whatever you want.” He meant it. He’d give her anything she wanted. Anything. Except let her push him away again.

“Thank you.” Turning back to him, she asked, “Are you hungry?”

The way she was taking care of him loosened the pressure in his chest. “Starving.”

“I made some chicken if you can stomach it. I’ll heat it.”

“Come here,” he said extending a hand. When she stood staring, he sighed, “Are you gonna make me get up?” Her shoulders dropped and she sat next to him. “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her to his chest. He inhaled her perfume and closed his eyes when she relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t. It wasn’t your fault.” He hugged her tighter and kissed her temple. After a few minutes of silence, he said, “Roland told me he wants a Spiderman bookshelf. Will you be upset if I get it for him?”

“No, I was going to, but our apartment was too small. There wasn’t much room for the things he wanted. He wants a lot and I’ve tried to give it to him.”

Nuzzling her neck, he said, “Let me help. Let me get him the shelf. The room upstairs is plenty big. If you want, we can go all out and get the bedding, the curtains, the posters. I had the same with Scooby-Doo when I was little.”

“Robin, we don’t live here. If you do that, you’ll only confuse him.”

“No, I won’t. This is my house. That makes it his, when he comes here, I want him to be comfortable. Let me spoil him. I have a lot of making up to do.” She pulled back to look at him. He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, “This won’t be the first time he comes here.”

“You’re right. I’ll help.”

“No,” he said sternly. “You’ve already given him everything. Let me worry about this place. I’m in control and you have no say.” He tried to hold back the smirk but failed.

Rolling her eyes, she nodded. “Alright.”

“I’ll order it tomorrow and have it delivered to the ranch. I don’t want to risk anyone seeing things brought here.”

“Okay. I called Maggie today and chewed her out for telling you about Jaden,” she frowned. “She’s my best friend and she went behind my back.”

“Hey.” He snagged her shoulder and squeezed gently. “Don’t blame her she just wanted someone to look out for you. I told her I would. I’m doing that.” He lifted her chin with his fingers when she looked down. “What did she say?”

“That she was sorry.” Misery filled her eyes.

“Are you mad that she told me to look out for you or are you mad because she told me things about you that I know you never had any intention of telling me?”

“You’re perfect. I’m not.”

“What? I’m so not perfect. I’ve done plenty of stupid shit.”

“Like what?” Her chin lifted in that stubborn way it does.

He swallowed. “After you left, I went off the rails. I did a lot of stupid things to forget about you.” He paused as his fingers trailed over her shoulder and down her arm. Avoiding her gaze, he said, “I picked up women. Too many to count and I can’t remember a damn thing about any of them.”

“Your mom told me,” she said quietly.

“I know. I was…gutted. I drank too much, lost myself in too many women, and picked up a cocaine habit. If you tell my mother that, I’ll have to kill you,” he said.

“Robin.”

“It was stupid, I know. But you have to understand, Regina.” He locked eyes with her. “When you left, it destroyed me.” When she shook her head to disagree, he reached up and framed her face with his hands. “I’m not exaggerating. I lost myself and it took me a long time to find myself again.”

His heart was pounding as he revealed his agony to her. “Eight years without you has been torture. Now, here you are and I’m willing to accept whatever you give me.” His eyes lowered to her mouth. “If I have a chance tell me now. I don’t think I could suffer through a guessing game.”

“Robin, I can’t bring you into my mess. It’s too big and you don’t deserve that.”

“Let me decide what I deserve. Are you pushing me away because of what’s going on or because you don’t want me?” He rested his brow to hers. “I’m a different man. I’m not impulsive and I don’t make stupid uncalculated decisions anymore.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” Her hands rested on his chest and pushed him slightly back. “I don’t have anything to offer. I’m not the girl who spent summers here. I’m not, Robin and if you knew the truth about what I did when I lift the ranch, you wouldn’t look at me the same.”

“How do you know? How am I looking at you now?”

“I…”

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I’ve wanted you half my life. I don’t care what you’ve done. You’ve already told me things; I don’t see you any differently. I know who you are.” He pressed his lips just under her ear. Regina shivered.

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she sighed.

“Let me help you remember,” he said trailing his lips down to the nape of her neck. He wrapped her close and hugged her to him. “You have a big heart and you always try to help other people more than yourself,” he nuzzled close and pressed a kiss to her chest.

“You’re smart and determined. You work hard for what you’ve been given.” He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. “You’re an amazing mother to our son and when you sing to him, your voice is pretty.” He kissed the corner of her mouth.

“It is not,” she said breathlessly.

“You’re sweet and considerate and you took care of me today,” he smiled. “You’re scared out of your mind, but you made sure that I was pain-free and you offered me dinner.”

She shrugged.

“When you let yourself, you’re funny and passionate,” he kissed her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and he took advantage and kissed one eyelid and then the other. “I’m always amazed by the way you keep your cool when I know you want to break down.”

“I can’t,” she said.

“Because it would make you look weak?”

“No, because I wouldn’t be able to stop.”

“So, you let others worry sick about you and you keep us at armlength. But, Regina…” He nipped her chin. “I’m gonna lay it all out right here.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve wanted what I always have. You. It’s up to you to decide if you want me. Transparency,” he explained. “I’m not gonna hold back. I want you.”

“There’s too much to be ashamed of,” she said.

“We all make mistakes,” he pulls her closer. “I’m not gonna fault you for yours. No matter what they are.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t know what they are,” she snaps.

“I don’t care,” he says. “I love you.” Not willing to wait anymore, he captures her mouth with his and sinks. “Let me touch you. Let me do it right this time,” he breathes.

“No,” she said with an unsteady voice. “Not yet.”

Her eyes are full of sorrow and confusion. “When you’re ready,” he says.

She untangles herself from him and stands, “I’ll get your plate.”

As she walks out of the room, he takes a deep breath to clear the sexual tension out of his body.


	10. 10

The sky was clear, and the breeze felt good across Rob's face. His head was still hurting, and the meds were taking care of the pain. He slid the barn door open to see what he was working with. Inside, he flipped the switch and the lights flickered before it went out. He made a note to check the wiring and change the bulbs.

Pulling out his phone, he turned the flashlight feature on and pointed it in front of him. There were eight stalls, each empty and clean. He figured he could bring Dante out here and work with him. Maybe bring Boulder for Roland. That would be up to Regina, he thought.

As he made his way through, he made mental notes of what he needed. What would be changed? He heard a cat meow behind him, turning he saw a little orange fluffball. The hair was matted and dirty. It looked like the cat had seen better days. He knelt to offer a hand, but the cat ducked into the corner.

Shining the light to follow, he sighed. The mother cat lay dead with four other kittens huddled beside her. He checked them all, but only the little guy survived. Picking him up, the cat tried to get away, but his weak little body had little fight left in him. "Shh. It's alright, buddy." He cradled the cat against his chest.

Outside, he closed the barn and made for the house. When he walked in the kitchen door, the smell of bacon frying made his stomach rumble. Regina stood at the stove with Roland grumbling at the table with a paper in front of him.

"Regina, can you get me a clean towel?" Turning, she saw what was in his hand.

"What is that?"

"A kitten. Found what was left of the mom and litter in the barn."

She handed him a towel from the hall closest. He wrapped up the kitten and he meowed weakly. "He looks pitiful and dirty."

"Can I see?" Roland jumped down from the chair and made a beeline for him. "He's so little."

"Yea, he's probably sick. I'll call the vet and see what we can do for him."

"Roland, you get back up there and finish your work." Regina had this stern voice when it came to handling Roland. It was kinda sexy. He grinned at her. Taking his shoulders, she patted him on the butt and be begrudgingly went to sit down. "What's that smile for?"

"Nothing," he laughed.

Turning to the bacon, she eyed him. "He needs a bath."

"Vet first," he said. Dialing his vet, he sat across from Roland. He was working on vocabulary words and from the looks of it, hated every moment of it.

"Lakeside Veterinary Center, this is Zoe speaking," she answered.

"Zoe, it's Rob Ross. I've got a problem I need some help with."

"Rob, how nice to hear from you. What seems to be the problem?"

He looked down at the kitten. "I found a kitten in a barn, mother, and other litter deceased. He's matted up, dirty, and weak."

"Poor little thing," she crooned. "Well, you can bring him in, and we'll have a look at him. I've got an opening this afternoon."

He glanced at Regina and thought about the trip the other day and thought it was a bad idea to leave. "No, I can't come in. Can you help me over the phone?" His head throbbed as a reminder.

"You know I can't do that. I'll see if Dr. Wallace is available." She paused the phone and he saw Regina staring at him out of the corner of his eye. When Zoe came back on, she said, "He's right here."

"Rob, what you got?"

"Little kitten all matted and dirty. He's a bit weak, looks hungry. I've got him wrapped in a towel and sleeping."

"He needs fluids, Rob. You sure you can't bring him in?"

"I…" His hand rubbed his head and sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

"We'll be waiting."

When the call ended, he stood and placed the kitten on the couch in the living room. Arranged a few pillows around to make sure he wouldn't roll off. Walking back in the kitchen he walked to Regina who was finishing up the bacon and turning off the grill. In her ear, he whispered, "I'll be right back."

Turning she caught his wrist, "Where are you going?"

Tucking her hair behind her ear, he said, "I'm gonna call my dad. Keep an eye on the cat. Okay?"

Nodding, she crossed her arms around her middle. A sure sign that she was uncomfortable. He kissed her cheek and went out the back door. The porch had an overhang with a bench on either side of the door. Pots were overflowing with dead flowers that he made a note to revive.

Sitting on the bench where he could see Roland at the table, he dialed Jack. "Rob."

"Hey, dad."

"You alright? I heard you went to the ER. Why didn't you call us?"

"I'm sorry," he absently rubbed the bandage. "It's been a crazy couple of days."

"How's Regina?"

"She's…it's complicated. She's alright, she's safe. Roland is safe. Listen, I need to ask a favor or two."

"What do you need?"

"First, I have some furniture and stuff being delivered to the ranch. I wanted you to bring it here when it arrives." He looked into the window as Regina put a plate in front of Roland and sat down to eat.

"Where's here?"

"I'll text you the address. I have one other favor. I found a kitten and it needs to go to the vet. I already called Zoe. She's expecting the cat later this afternoon. I can't leave here. Regina will freak." As he said that, she turned to look at him with knowing eyes.

"What happened?"

"I got run off the road on my trip in town to grab groceries and stuff."

"What?!"

"I'm fine. Just banged up my head. I don't want to chance it in case they come after me again. So, can you help?"

There was a pause and he could hear his father shuffling papers around. "Yea. Anything else?"

"Yea, actually. Can you ask Tuck to gather some supplies? I'll send you a list. I want to bring Dante and Boulder out here, but I need to fix some stuff up first."

Another pause. "How long are you planning on staying there?"

He glanced around the property. "I don't know. As long as I need to, I guess. I could use some of my office stuff too. I'd like to work from here."

"We'll see to it you get what you need. Send me an e-mail and I'll work it out. What time is the vet appointment?"

"I didn't make one. I figure around two, but you'll have a bit of drive to make."

"How big?"

"About twenty or so miles." Rob rubbed his neck. "I've gotta go. Regina made breakfast."

"Be safe, Rob."

"Will do. Thanks, pop." He hung up and walked inside.

…

Regina settled into her bedroom with the door closed as Rob and Roland unloaded Jack's truck. Closing her eyes, she sat on the edge of her bed with her phone in hand. Jaden's contact ready to dial. This was the hardest phone call she'd have to make.

With shaking hands, she pressed the call and brought the phone to her ear. On the third ring, she heard his voice. "Regina, it's about time you called." His voice was charming and smooth with a hint of heat underneath. A heat she knew to be cruel.

"Jaden." Her voice wasn't as strong as she'd like it to be.

"What can I do for you, sweetheart?" That term of endearment was a put-down and said so in the most sarcastic and condescending manner.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "You can stop threatening me and following me."

The charm and smoothness disappeared when his voice grated out, "I told you there would be consequences for your actions. I warned you. Did I not?"

Shaking her head, she said, "I told you I was done. It's done, Jaden. I don't owe you anything."

"Wrong. You owe me a whole lot. It's not about the money, sweetheart."

"What do you want?"

"You."

Her stomach turned queasy, "I'm not yours, anymore. I don't want this anymore. I'm done. Please, Jaden. Let me go."

He was quiet and his voice was softer, "Are you sure this is what you want, Regina?"

"Yes," she closed her eyes pleading he'd listen.

"Is this about that cowboy you're shaking up with?" His voice turned cruel. "Did he enjoy that hospital visit?"

She swallowed. "What?"

"I know where you were staying. I had a guy do some digging." He paused. "Did you fuck him?"

Panic clawed into her chest. "What I do is none of your business. You leave him alone."

"Does he know who he's gotten into bed with? Does he know your secret?"

"Stop it," she snapped.

"It's only a matter of time, sweetheart. He'll see you for what you are. A whore," he laughed. "My little princess has been with all the big names and don't forget." She waited for him to drop the bombshell that he did when he threatened her. "I have a video of all of it. You sure you want that getting out?"

"Jaden, please don't do this to me. I gave you what you wanted. I did what you told me to do. I gave you most of the money like you asked. I just wanted out. Why won't you let me go? I have a son that's important to me."

"You're too valuable. I need that in this business. You want out, there's a price. I want you back in my bed. Only my bed, sweetheart. I'm not willing to share anymore."

"No," she said sternly. "Please."

"It's the only way. I'll give you some time to consider it. Let's say a few weeks. Call me back, sweetheart if you have a change of heart." He paused before saying, "I miss that sweet mouth of yours."

Disgusted, she said, "You'll never have it again. Jaden, I'm serious. I'll go to the police."

"You wouldn't," he sounded dangerous.

"I would if it'll get you off my back. I don't care if it implicates me. I'll do what I have to. You leave us alone. I mean it."

"You little bitch. I made you into what you were. I connected you to the big names when you were nothing. You spread your legs for me, sweetheart. I've ruined you," he laughed. "The look on your face each time I had that little cunt is engrained in my mind. You won't ever be free of me."

Tears streamed down her face as the sickness settled deep in her belly. "Leave us alone," she said on a sob.

"Three weeks, Regina. Think long and hard. You have that time to shack up with whoever you want. Don't say I didn't warn you when he looks at you with disgust." Then the line went dead.

Standing from the bed, she threw her phone down and rushed to the bathroom. Lifting the lid to the toilet, she lost her breakfast. Sobbing into a towel, she let all her shame and grief out. Her body shook and her heart shattered.

…

Rob settled his office equipment in his bedroom. There was no desk, but he managed to arrange it all on the dressers and bookshelves. He'd order a desk and chair and nestle it into the den when he could. For it would work. He'd checked on Roland a few times as he heard him in his room.

Regina went out on the back porch and had yet to come back inside. She'd asked for some space, so he'd given it. Glancing at the clock, he figured he'd give her another hour or so. Then, he'd ask her what put that look on her face. Misery. Emptiness. It gutted him when she'd walked down the stairs pale and sad.

He booted up his laptop and checked his e-mail using his phone's hotspot. That was another thing on his list. The Internet needs to be installed. Yvonne sent him the updates on the ranch. Tucker sent him his own short-hand accounts.

Dante and Boulder were being prepped for transport at the beginning of next week. The tack, feed, and supplements would be coming along with them. The trail rides were being handled, the jumping schedule was full, and he sat there feeling like he had no part of it. They didn't need him.

It was what he'd expected when he'd moved in with Marcy. He'd taken a few weeks to settle in, they'd managed on their own. It was why he'd gotten the hair-brained idea to open a rescue. His management over the ranch and Jack's supervision could leave him with enough time to do both.

Right now, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. The house needed some work if he planned on staying in it. So far, he did. But if Regina and Roland left, he wasn't quite sure if he'd want to. He pulled up the furniture store and added things he needed for the den, the bedrooms, and added a few extra spiderman supplies for Roland's room.

As he finished purchasing and sending Jack a message to inform him of the upcoming delivery, Roland walked in. "Dad, I'm bored." He plopped down on his bed and huffed. "There's nothing to do out here. Not even chores."

"That'll change, buddy."

"How?"

"Well," he turned. "I'm gonna have to figure out what you'll do around here. "Dante and Boulder are gonna be moved out her next week. You'll help me muck out and train. How's that?"

His face brightened, his smile spread widely, "Yes!" Then his face fell, "What will we do until they get here? I'm done with my summer work. Mom just gives me exercises to do because she wants me to practice reading."

Rob laughed, "It's good for you. Jack is bringing the kitten back tomorrow. I'm leaving you in charge of him. You'll feed him and make sure he stays out of trouble. You think you can handle it?"

"Yea, can I name him?" Roland looked excited.

"What did you have in mind?" Rob ruffled his hair. He loved his son and it shocked him how surprised and how sudden those feelings engulfed him. He still couldn't believe he was his.

"I was thinking Peter. Because that's Spiderman's real name." He grinned.

Rob wrinkled his nose, "How about Parker? It sounds better."

"Okay. When is Jack coming?"

"Soon," he said. "I'm gonna go find your mom. Stay out of trouble."

Rob walked down the steps as he heard Roland make airplane noises. In the kitchen, he stopped and saw her back from the window. Taking a deep breath, he walked outside and moved to sit beside her.

He leaned back and stretched out his legs, closed his eyes, and relaxed. To his pleasure, she lifted his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He tucked her close and rubbed her back softly. He didn't say a word, he didn't need to.

Her arm came around his middle and she shifted to lay across his chest. Her shampoo filled his senses, and he smiled. He felt he breeze on his face and a few strands of hair flutter around him. Birds sang softly. It was peaceful and quiet. He could get used to this.

He dozed off and on for about an hour, felt her completely relax in his arms. When he opened his eyes, he felt her fingers tapping along his side. He took her hand to stop the tickling feeling. She shifted and looked up at him. He could still see sadness there. Pain.

He reached up and used his finger to slide her hair out of her face. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," she said looking down.

"Did you call him?" Her eyes flickered to his and he saw the truth. Whatever he was to her, it made him a little jealous. "What happened?"

To his dismay, she sat up and untangled herself from him. He moved his arm to the back of the bench. "Jaden is responsible for the break-in at the ranch."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, he admitted it." She crossed her arms around herself. Glancing at him, she added, "He admitted to being responsible for your accident too." Agony filled her eyes.

"Why would he do that?" He sat straighter. Anger building inside of him.

"He's jealous and angry at me for leaving him," she said. Staring off into the field, she sighed, "He's always had control over me, and I stepped back from him. He didn't like it."

"You told me that was three years ago," he said carefully.

She swallowed. "It was." She paused before adding, "With Jaden."

"What does that mean?" He watched her and saw the emotions and nerves on her face, in her body.

"He wasn't the only one," she said in a small voice.

His stomach twisted, his heart ached, "The only one you…"

Nodding, she let out a breath, "I told you it was shameful, Robin." She glanced at him but looked away too quickly. "It doesn't matter." She stood and walked out into the yard.

He followed and took her hand, "Regina, wait." He stood behind her. "How many were there? I'm not judging you, but I'd like to know." He held his breath and felt the wind kicked out of him when she answered.

"Thirty-six," she whispered. He released her hand and she turned around to see the shock on his face. Tears slid down her cheeks, "I told you, you'd never look at me the same." Before he could respond, she turned and ran back into the house.


	11. 11

Rob walked out of the house when Jack pulled up. He took a cat carrier out of the bed of the truck. “He’s got a clean bill of health.”

“Good.” He took the carrier and a bag with what he’d need. “Roland’s been impatient.” He avoided his eyes.

Jack took his arm to stop him, “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t.” Rob’s eyes were hard.

“Rob.” Jack didn’t budge.

Rob glanced at the house and his heartbeat a little faster in his chest, anger filled him. “I don’t want to talk about it. Thanks for bringing the cat and the bookshelf.”

Jack released his arm and nodded. “Sure. I’ll bring the case inside. When you’re ready to unburden yourself, you’ll let me know.”

Rob ignored him and walked inside. Roland was still on the couch with a puzzle. “Look what I’ve got.”

Roland turned and his dimpled smile flashed, “Parker!” His feet ran across the room and skidded to a halt when the cat climbed out. His hair was clean, his eyes a golden yellow, and his feet were white. All things that hadn’t been visible when Rob had taken him out of the barn.

Roland sat cross-legged on the ground, “Hey.” His hand reached out and softly smoothed over the kitten’s back. Parker let out a powerful meow and climbed into Roland’s lap. Looking up, he smiled, “He likes me.”

“Of course, he does. Here, you’ll need this.” Rob handed him a bag with food and supplies. Roland picked up the cat and took his things to the kitchen. Where Regina was sitting with her back to him. He hadn’t said a word since their conversation outside and he wasn’t sure what to say.

Turning, he heard Jack come in the door. “Where do you want this?”

Rob pointed upstairs, “I’ll show you his room.”

They went upstairs and into Roland’s room. Jack looked around, “Looks like a good space.”

“Yea, it is. I figure I’d buy him what he wants. Since I have been able to.”

“Good idea. I’ll bring the rest of the boxes next week after my supply run.” Jack set the box down. “You want help putting this together?”

“No,” Rob said sitting on the edge of the bed. “I want to do it with him. Teach him how to.”

“Good idea. Rob, you sure you’re alright? You look sick.”

“I’m fine,” he said. Just processing, he thought. “I’m just tired and my head still hurts like hell.”

“Your mom wanted you to have something,” he said.

Rob looked up, “What?”

“It’s out in the truck. Come on, you could use some fresh air.”

As they descended the stairs, Rob saw Roland running around chasing the cat. Good, he’d have something to do. He glanced at the table, but Regina was rooting around in the kitchen.

Outside, Jack handed him a tin. “Your favorite.”

“Thanks. Have tuck bring the horses as soon as he can. Would ya? I’d like to get to work on Dante.”

Jack nodded, “Alright. I’ll tell him. You take it easy.”

“I will. Tell mom I’ll call her.”

Jack hesitated. “How bad is it?”

Rob met his father’s eyes, defeated he lifted his shoulders, “I don’t know.”

Rubbing his shoulder, Jack said, “I love you, son.”

Rob’s throat closed, “I love you, too.”

…

Regina pulled out pain medication and gauze for Rob. He was still in pain and when he overdid it, she could see how tired he got. When Jack left, Rob walked back inside and walked to the kitchen. On the counter, she’d left his pills and his change of bandage.

He took the pills and water and swallowed them. She avoided his eyes but asked, “You need help with the bandages?” Her voice was small and unsure, and she didn’t like it.

His voice was gruff and angry, “I’ve got it.” He swiped the materials and turned to the washroom. She walked to the window and closed her eyes. She should never have told him. Tears filled her eyes. It was wrong of her to tell him. It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t his problem.

Bringing him into her mess was stupid and selfish. She checked on Roland out on the back porch with the cat and walked to the edge of the trees with her phone. Dialing Maggie, she took a deep breath.

“Regina?”

“Hi, Mags,” she said with a thick voice.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Regina glanced at the house, Roland was giggling with the cat and her knees buckled. “No. I’m not.” Sitting on the ground, she let the tears fall. “I’ve screwed up, Mags. I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey,” her voice was soft and sympathetic. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I lied to you. I’ve been lying for years about Jaden and what he put me through,” she said through tears.

“Why?”

“Because I’m ashamed. I tried to tell Robin today, but he looked at me with…his eyes were…I can’t stay here, Maggie.” Bringing her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around herself. “It isn’t right to put him in the middle.”

“The middle of what? Regina, tell me what’s been going on.” Her voice was stern.

“He’s blackmailing me,” she blurted out.

“With what?”

“Videos. I…Jaden wasn’t the only one I was sleeping with for money,” she confessed.

Maggie was quiet for a long time; she wasn’t sure if she hung up. Closing her eyes, she waited. When her voice finally came, she hated herself. “How could you lie to me? I’ve been nothing but supportive. I watched Roland on nights that I thought you were out with Jaden.”

“I know, but that’s the thing…” Her stomach lurched and she thought she’d be sick. “I was with Jaden.”

“You better start making more sense because I’m getting confused and pissed,” she spit out.

Regina sighed, “Jaden made me sleep with his colleagues. If I didn’t, he wouldn’t pay me. I didn’t want to,” she explained with tears streaming down her face. “The first several times, he held me down.” Squeezing her eyes shut, her body shuddered to remember.

“Regina,” Maggie’s voice broke. “That’s rape.”

“I had to. He threatened to fire me, and I needed that job. I stopped fighting after that. Maggie, he broke into Robin’s cabin.”

“What?”

“I’m not on the ranch anymore. Jaden admitted to doing it. He had someone run Rob off the road. He could’ve been hurt a lot worse than he was.”

“Wait,” Maggie interrupted. “Did you talk to him? He called you?”

“No, I called him. After I found out Martinez was locked up, I knew it had to be him. Maggie, I didn’t tell you the truth. Four months ago, I walked away from what Jaden was making me do. I couldn’t do it anymore. He’s angry.”

“Why?”

“Because he got all of the money.” Her nerves were shot, her body felt weak, and she felt shame in every fiber of her being. “I got paid and he videotaped all of the sessions. He said if I don’t go back to him, he’ll release them on the internet and ruin me. What would that do to Roland?”

“You can’t be stupid. You’re not going back to him,” she said. “You need to go to the police and report this.”

“I can’t…”

“Shut up.” Regina jerked back. Maggie had never spoken to her like that. “You can’t let this ruin your life. You made mistakes, but he’s going to ruin you if you let him.”

“I’ll get arrested for prostitution,” Regina cried.

“What did you do with the money?”

Regina sighed, “It’s in a savings account.”

“All of it?”

“Yes, I couldn’t touch the money without feeling dirty. Jaden paid for my apartment, I didn’t.”

“Shit, Regina. Why didn’t you trust me with this? I watched you struggling, and I could’ve been there for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I need you to explain to me in as much detail as possible how these sessions went. Why was he there?”

Regina clenched her eyes closed. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“You have to. Where did you go?”

Regina shook her head, “Jaden’s house. Master bedroom.”

Maggie tsk’d her tongue, “Gross. Isn’t he married?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Alright. Was he in the room?”

Her body began to shake, “Yes,” she whimpered.

Softly, Mags asked, “What was his role?”

“I can’t, Maggie. I don’t want to picture it. Please,” she begged.

“Get it out, because if you want to be clear of him, you’re going to have to say it again and again. To a police officer, a lawyer, and a judge. You know how this works. Tell me.”

Regina swallowed. Glancing around, she saw Roland on the porch, the cat snuggled in his lap. Rob was upstairs, she guessed. “He put me in restraints, held my arms. That was his role.”

“Fucking bastard,” she yelled. “How many times, how many men?”

Regina pressed her forehead to her knees, “Thirty-six.”

“He has video of all of this. You’re sure?”

“Yes, he said it was his insurance. There was always a camera.”

“This might be your silver lining, Regina. That’s not only rape, but trafficking, exploitation, coercion, harassment, and blackmail. Not to mention breaking and entering, and attempted murder, if that’s what it was. He’ll be going away for the rest of his miserable life.”

“If I can prove it,” Regina said lamely.

“All you need to do is tell your story and they’ll find the evidence. It’s a stretch sure, but you aren’t to blame for any of this. It’s about time you take hold of your life and put your foot down. Don’t let him control you.”

“He gave me three weeks, Mags. Three weeks to decide to go back to him or he releases the tapes.”

“So, we have time. Where are you?”

Regina looked around the property. “I’m at Rob’s house. It’s about twenty miles from Ross Ranch.”

“How long are you staying?”

“I don’t know if I should stay here at all, Roland and Rob are getting to know each other and that’s great. But after what I told him; I doubt he’ll want me here. I should go…”

“What did you tell him?”

“That Jaden wasn’t the only one. I didn’t get a chance to tell him the rest. He looked at me like I was a stranger. Like I was disgusting.” Blowing out a breath, she said, “I am.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” she cried. “I’m ruined and he’s never gonna want me like this. I don’t blame him or any man. I can’t stand it. I can’t stay here with him avoiding me. Maybe I’ll go back to Jack and Betty’s. Roland can stay here for a while.”

“Regina, you have to talk to him. He should know the truth. He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t. He loves the girl I used to be. Not the woman I am.”

“Give him a chance. Maybe he’s just processing. It’s a lot to take in. I’m still not sure how to feel,” she admitted.

Regina sighed, “I’m sorry, Mags. I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

“It’s alright. Listen, I have to get to court, but call me and let me know what you’re going to do. If you go back to the ranch, I’ll come see you. I think we should talk in person. I’ll set up an interview with a cop I trust.”

“But…”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re reporting this. I’ll give you a few days. I love you, Regina.”

“I love you, too.”

When the line went dead. Regina sat with the bird song hitting her like a thousand knives. The peace she felt these past few days felt like a lie. She didn’t deserve any of it. When she stood, her eyes flicked to the window on the second floor. Rob was poised in the window looking at her. She wiped her tears and looked away.

Dialing Betty’s number, she planned to go back to the cabin. Then, she went inside and started dinner.

…

Rob descended the stairs with Roland when he was informed dinner was ready. He’d worked in his office all afternoon. When he’d taken a break, he’d seen Regina on the phone outside. Not meaning to eavesdrop, he couldn’t help himself. She looked scared and miserable.

His head was too stuck on the number of men she’d been with. It stuck there like a beating drum. Rounding the corner, he saw Regina putting plates on the table. Then, his eyes caught her bags sitting next to the door. Her bags. His heart lurched for a second.

He sat at the table and Roland sat across from him. Regina put down glasses of water and walked back into the kitchen. With her back to them, he wondered what she was planning to do. For one, he noticed her attire. Jeans, and a sweatshirt. Not a lick of skin showing.

Usually, she wore a large t-shirt and yoga pants, or her robe. Tonight, she looked like she was leaving, and his stomach hurt to think of it. As he ate, he noticed she was writing something on a piece of paper. Roland sat unaware of the tension in the room.

“Dad when can we put my bookshelf together?”

“Tomorrow, if you’d like.”

“Yes!”

They talked about the cat, the horses coming in tomorrow, and the work they had to get done. At some point, Regina went upstairs without a word. Roland lingered over dessert. “Why is mommy sad?”

“What do you mean?”

Roland shrugged, “She told me she’s going back to the cabin and that I could stay here because she needed to take care of something. But she looked sad when she said it.”

Rob’s throat closed and he expelled a breath. “She said that?”

“Yea, is that okay? I wanna stay with you.” His eyes were so big and sweet.

“Of course, you can.” The rest of the meal, his mind was spinning. She’d been quiet since she went upstairs. He thought he heard the shower at some point. He lingered downstairs after Roland went up to bed. He poured himself a glass of brandy.

Sitting on the couch, he let himself wallow in his feelings. All his life, he’d wanted her. He let his life get out of control because she’d left. Then, she’d blown in again looking beautiful and dropping a bomb on him. Now, she dropped another than felt like nuclear.

He didn’t know the whole truth, but he knew she felt shame over it. Whatever she’d done, it wasn’t his business. But jealousy was hot in his veins. Jealousy, anger, and a little disgust. How could she do that to herself? It didn’t make sense.

Looking at her bags by the door, he knew she was leaving. Roland had confirmed it. What angered him, was that she didn’t say a word to him about it. Not a word or even a glance when she walked out of the kitchen. He thought back to what she wrote and went in search of it.

Unfortunately, the paper only detailed his schoolwork schedule. A list of books and workbook pages. Nothing else. Downing his drink, he locked the doors, turned out the lights, and headed upstairs. He looked in Roland’s room to see his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling with his deep breaths.

He closed the door lightly. He stopped outside of Regina’s door and listened. The light was out, but he could hear sniffling and soft sobs. It broke his heart to hear her in so much pain. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead to the door. As the sounds continued, he couldn’t take it anymore.

He tried the door and found it locked. He knocked lightly. “Regina?”

No answer. Her sniffles were quiet, and he guessed she muffled herself in her pillow. In his room, he took a small screwdriver out of his toolbox, walked to the door, and put it through the small hole. It took only two tries before the door unlocked.

He opened the door and saw her in bed. Her back was to him, her face in her pillow. Her back shook with her cries. Toeing off his boots, he slid behind her and wrapped his arm around her. She jerked. “Shh…” When she made no move, he turned her toward him.

Her eyes were red, and her face flushed. “Come here.” He held her tightly to his chest and she wept. He didn’t say a word, just held on. When she was quiet, he looked down to see she’d exhausted herself into sleep. He released her and got out of bed, bent to get his boots, and closed the door behind him.

…

Regina woke early, dressed, and gathered the rest of her belongings in her backpack. She got her charger and phone and put them in her purse. Stopping at Roland’s room, she sat on the edge of his bed. He slept sweetly, she hated to wake him. Brushing his hair from his forehead, she nudged him awake. “Hey, baby. I’m leaving.”

“Now?” He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Yea, but don’t worry. I’ll see you soon. Okay?” She brought him in for a hug. “I love you, baby. Have fun with your dad.”

“I love you, too. Don’t be sad, mommy.” He touched her cheeks where a tear fell.

“It’s okay, baby. Go back to sleep.” She petted Parker’s sleepy head and tucked Roland back under the covers. When he rolled over, she stood and closed his door. Taking her bags, she checked her phone for the cab she was expecting and walked quietly down the steps.

When she looked up, she stopped when she saw Robin sitting on the couch. “We’re you just gonna sneak out?” He looked tired and angry.

Regina swallowed. Her purse held a letter she’d written to him. Pulling it out, she put it on the hallway table. “I thought it would be best.”

“Best for whom?” His voice was deceptively quiet.

Looking at the floor, she lifted her shoulder. “I figured after what I said, you wouldn’t want me around. I don’t blame you. So, I’m going back to your mom’s. Roland can stay here. He wants to. I know you don’t want me here.” Her voice caught at the last word.

“Did I say that?” Her eyes lifted and his face was unreadable.

“You didn’t have to, your face did it for you.” She looked down at her phone when it signaled. “My cab’s here.” Sliding her purse and backpack on, she picked up her bags after opening the door. Pausing, she looked back when he made no move to get up. “I’m sorry for getting you involved in this and I’m really sorry that you got hurt.”

“Regina…”

“I understand, Robin. I tried to tell you that I wasn’t the woman you knew. I guess now you know what I meant.” She couldn’t look at him. “You deserve more than…” She wanted to say a whore. But she didn’t. “You deserve more.”

Before he could answer, she walked outside, put her bags down to close the door, and he shot up from his seat. His hands reached out and took her arms shaking her. “Who the hell do you think you are telling me what I deserve?”

The move made her head light and dizzy. “No one.”

“Wrong. You’re not no one. If you feel like you need to go, go. But this isn’t over. Not by a long shot.” His nostrils flared; his eyes kept hers. “I want to know the full story, Regina. Because the look in your eyes tells me there’s a hell whole of a lot.”

Her throat was too thick, she couldn’t speak. Shaking her head, she tried to pull away from him. His hands were strong and unyielding. He shocked her by pulling her to his chest and taking her mouth in a hard kiss. When he lifted his head, he said, “Think about that.” Then, he released her.

Regina picked up her bags and walked as fast as she could to the cab. The driver put her bags in the trunk. She sat in the back and glanced at Rob standing on the stoop as the cab drove off.


	12. 12

Rob sat at the kitchen table while Roland finished his last math worksheet of the summer. He complained through every page of it. "There. I got it." Rob looked it over and nodded.

"Great job, buddy. You can go play with Parker, now." Roland ran off and Rob organized his math folder. Putting it in his backpack, he zipped it up and added the book he'd been reading. Outside, he put his suitcase in the trunk along with his backpack.

The night before, Regina requested that Roland come for the weekend. He didn't argue. In fact, he'd said little to her since she left. It was easier to let her stew than to bombard her with his thoughts. Easier for him. To his knowledge, Maggie was staying with her. Jack kept him up to date on what was going on, to a point.

In the barn, Dante and Boulder were fed, watered, and brushed. The stalls were mucked out and fresh straw was scattered. He worked and felt his muscles and back being used, sweat sliding down his back. It showed that he put in the work.

Roland came running in as he wheeled the manure out to the door. "Dad, someone's coming."

Rob put the wheel barrel aside and saw a black SUV park by the house. "Come on." Taking his hand, Rob wanted to be cautious. No one but Jack had ventured up here. A man in a suit got out of the vehicle and lifted a hand to wave.

"Robin Ross?" His smile was off.

"Can I help you?" Rob kept hold of Roland and subtly shifted him behind his hip.

"I'm Jaden O'Malley. I've got some questions for you." He flashed a card with his credentials on it. Rob's back went up.

"About what?"

"Do you know a Regina Caroline Mills?" Something in his eyes flashed when he glanced down at the boy. "That's her son, is it not?"

"Hi, Jaden," Roland said in a dull voice.

Rob glanced behind him to see the look on his son's face. "What's this about?" He stood taller and thanked the gods that she wasn't here.

"I'm afraid she's been listed as AWOL from the district attorney's office. We're looking for her whereabouts. When was the last time you saw her?"

"That's none of your business, Mr. O'Malley. This is private property, you're lucky you didn't get shot pulling up here," Rob said.

"Is that a threat?" His brow rose in challenge.

"That's a friendly caution," he said. "People kill for less. How did you know I lived here? It's not visible from the road."

Jaden's smile thinned, "We have our ways. If you see her again, let her know that I'm looking for her." He flashed a grin and walked back to his SUV.

"He's a bad man," Roland said quietly.

"What do you mean?" He turned and knelt in from of his son.

"Mommy and Jaden used to be friends. Then, he started hitting and hurting her. He hit me once too," he said.

Rob's jaw clenched. "Come on. It's about time we get inside and get ready to go." As he walked off, Rob said, "Roland." The boy turned. "He'll never hurt you or your mom again. Do you hear me? I promise."

The boy looked at him for a long time, searching his eyes, and nodded. "Thanks, daddy." Then, he turned and walked up to the porch and into the house.

Rob's heart stuttered to hear the word, _daddy_. That was the first time and love swarmed him. He dumped the manure in the pile and closed the barn. He went to wash up and prepared to drive out to the ranch.

…

Regina sat with Maggie at the kitchen table in the cabin. Maggie held the statement she'd written in detail. All the disgusting and degrading details of each encounter. Including one with multiple men. Regina had kept a diary and Maggie had them sitting on the table with her.

For the last week, they'd talked in detail about the encounters and Maggie was quite certain that Regina wouldn't get charged for any of it. However, there were iffy charges and small misdemeanors that might not be avoided. It would be up to the judge.

"I called the department and Detective Englewood will be meeting us tomorrow morning," Maggie said. Taking the files, she placed them inside her briefcase and locked it.

"Okay. I'm nervous," Regina admitted.

Maggie took her hand, "Nothing you've told me indicates that this was your fault. They may get hung up on the delay in reporting. They may have questions about the extent to which you covered this up. You've spoken to the client with this same information. You know the score. Regina, you've never been a victim."

"I'm not a victim," she said standing and taking her empty teacup to the sink.

"Yes, you are. This is above your head. I think you should see a therapist, Regina." Maggie's eyes were sympathetic when she turned.

"I don't know."

"If you were my client, I'd recommend it. I'd convince the judge it was necessary. You need to talk about this with a trauma counselor. They'll help you through this." Maggie went to her. "I love you, G. I need you to take care of yourself. Emotionally, I mean."

"I'll think about it," she said with no intention of following through. "Roland should be here soon. I told him I'd have his cookies ready." Reaching up in the cupboards, she took down the baking supplies and they got to work. For the next hour, she appreciated that Maggie gave her the silence she needed.

When they were in the oven, they sat and idly watched an episode of FRIENDS. The episode where Ross wore his leather pants and couldn't get them back up his legs always made her laugh. The timer went off when Ross had his pants wadded up in his hands.

When Maggie and she were putting the icing on, a knock sounded at the door. "I'll get it," Maggie said.

Regina continued to ice as she heard Roland come in. Glancing at the door, she saw the expression on his face. "What's wrong, buddy?"

Rob stepped in and nerves danced under her skin. "He's a little upset about leaving Parker behind."

"I made your cookies," he said hoping to perk him up. He walked to her and hugged her side. Kneeling, she asked, "You'll see him in a few days, baby."

"I know," he pouted. When his eyes met hers, he said, "Jaden came to dad's house." Panic clawed its way into her stomach, and she looked past him at Rob.

"Can I talk to you?" He glanced around. "Alone?"

"Ask Maggie nicely and she'll give you the cookies before they go in the fridge," she whispered. He nodded.

Walking with Rob outside, she closed the door and followed him out into the field. It was a warm day out, but she still had a sweater on. He didn't speak right away, but she could see that he was on edge. His hands were stuffed into his pockets before he turned to look at her.

"What's going on?" Her voice was strong, and she was thankful for that. Tired of crying and letting emotions rule her, she was starting to show her spine. Making direct eye contact was a struggle, but she tried. When he held her gaze, hers shifted past his head.

"Jaden O'Malley showed up at my house this morning," he said. "Looking for you, claiming you're labeled AWOL from your job."

Frowning, she asked, "What? That's not true, they know I'm on sabbatical. I just talked to my office yesterday."

"That's what he said. He told me to tell you, he's looking for you." His jaw ticked and she could see he was hiding his anger.

Panic filled her to know he was getting close. "I still have time," she muttered.

"Time for what?" Rob was watching her and heard what she said. Closing her eyes, she shook her head.

"I called him, but he's being…" What did she tell him? The truth? All of it? It was too hard. Her stomach knotted and she put a hand there to hold in the pain. "Maggie is helping me with some legal things when it comes to him." That was vague but it was the best she could do right now.

"I don't want him coming near you or Roland," he bit out. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Her arms crossed and she lifted her chin.

"That he hit you and our son?" He took a step forward. "You let him around our son? Why?"

"That was one time and I knew it was a mistake. We were at my office and Jaden came in. I didn't ever want to put Roland on his radar." Looking away, she sighed, "If I hadn't had to deal with my broken jaw, I would've been able to protect him."

Rob stepped to her and took her face in his hands, "Regina." His voice was full of pain and anger. "Roland told he didn't hurt him much. But he didn't tell me what happened to you." His thumbs caressed her cheeks. "I know I said I wouldn't push you, but I want to know the truth. I want to know what happened. All of it."

"No, you don't. Trust me," she said pulling away. She walked off and stopped. "I can't talk about an open investigation," she said.

He came up behind her and his hands took her shoulders. "You reported him?"

"Yes. Maggie made me," she mumbled.

"Good. I knew I liked her," he said kissing her head.

Turning, she lifted her face, "I lied to you, but you have to understand. You haven't been a part of my life for a long time, Rob. I've done things that I'm ashamed of. I'm not the girl you knew." Her head dropped.

He lifted her chin, "I know that. I see it in your eyes. But here's the thing, Regina." He stepped closer and crowded her space. Put his hands on her waist. "You're wrong. Underneath the shame and the pain, you're still the same girl I fell in love with that one summer."

"I am not," she said. "Why can't you see that?"

"Because you are. Your heart is still big, you still take care of others when you need it more than we do." He kissed forehead, "When you think no one is looking, you let your guard down. You're sweet, caring, and beautiful. But you have secrets."

Nodding, "I know I do. They're better left that way."

"Better for you? I don't live like that. I've held in secrets; I won't do it with you. I've never lied to you. I've been transparent in how I feel. Fucking opening my heart to you when I know you can break it again." The pain in his eyes brought tears to hers.

"Robin…I don't want to hurt you." Reaching up she cupped his cheek. "This isn't your mess."

"I don't care. Roland is our son and he's in my life. You are too, forever. Whether we're together or not, he's between us. I'm not letting you go, either. I care about you. So, you better get used to me being around."

"I…" He silenced her with his lips. Swooping in and taking her breath, she simply surrendered. The kiss was slow and sweet.

When he released her, he hugged her to him. In her ear, he said, "You have things to figure out, I know that. Eventually, I'm gonna want answers." He kissed the side of her neck. "Give me a chance, Regina. A real shot. No messing around." He lifted his head to look in her eyes. "Let's see if this can work. If you need time, take it. I need some myself."

"How can you want that after…" Her cheeks flamed and she looked away.

"I won't lie and say that it's easy to know what you've done. How many people you've been with." He stepped back and released her. "I'm not gonna try and put myself in your shoes. But I can't say that I don't take the blame." He looked off and she stared at him.

"This isn't your fault, Robin."

"We should go back inside," he said avoiding the subject.

"Robin." He stopped and looked at her when she took his hand. Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's mine. My mother offered to give me money, but I was too stubborn to take it." Her lips trembled. "I avoided doing business with one monster and got into bed with another. This is on me."

He rested his brow to hers. "I think we have a lot of talking to do. Right now, it's best we go back inside." He kissed her and said, "If you think that this is too much, I'd rather you tell me sooner rather than later. I'm putting it out there."

"I…" He silenced her with his fingers.

"Think about it. Come on," he took her hand and led her back into the cabin.

…

Regina and Maggie sat at the table while Detective Englewood sat across from them reviewing the files, diaries, and statements made by Regina. She's woken early and taken Roland over to hang out with Jack. Rob was back at his place and she felt a little better about him not knowing about this meeting.

"Ms. Mills, I'll be candid. I know Mr. O'Malley and what you've presented is shocking, to say the least." He looked genuine. "I'm gonna need you to tell me in your own words about the first incident. What was discussed, what transpired. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes," she said shaking. Her hands fidgeted. "I um…applied for his firm and was called in for an interview. He reviewed my file and asked me the normal interview questions. When I thought it was over, he stopped me and asked if I'd be willing to come in for another interview. So, I did."

"And when was this?"

"About a week after the first. Only the day before the interview, he called me and changed the location. I met him at his private residence." Remembering it was like reliving it.

"And you didn't find that odd? Englewood jotted down notes and she looked down at the tape recorder.

"I did until he told me that we'd be having dinner with his wife. I agreed because I really wanted the job and we wouldn't be alone."

"What happened?" He sat back and listened.

"I arrived at the house and he answered the door. He told me his wife would be arriving from a tennis match later in the evening. I went inside and he invited me into his office." She thought back to it and cringed. "The interview was less formal. He asked some personal questions."

"What questions?"

"He wanted to know if I was seeing anyone if I had children, and what I did in my free time. I told him I had a son, but I didn't elaborate on the other questions. It wasn't his business."

"What else?"

"He offered me the job and I was excited. I knew that I was just out of school, but he said he saw something in me. That he knew I could get the job done. When I stood to leave, he…" Closing her eyes she fought with the memory.

"It's okay. Take your time," he said softly.

"He put his hands on my shoulders and told me that I was beautiful and that if I was willing to, he could make sure I was compensated. He said he'd put me up in an apartment and make sure that I had everything I needed."

"And your answer to that?"

"I was stunned. I didn't know what he meant or what he was insinuating. I was focused on the apartment I was living in and the eviction notice I'd gotten three days before. He told me that all I had to do was work for him and he'd arrange it. There were no details at that time."

"So, you agreed?" He looked down at his notes.

"Yes. I agreed not knowing what I was getting myself into. He helped me move, he was charming, his wife helped pick out the drapes. They were lovely people to me and my son. He was two years old at the time."

"When did things change?"

"A month after I started working in the office, he called me in to see him. I had been working on a case and it had ended. He asked me how he thought it was going. I told him that I was getting used to the job and that I was thankful that he'd taken a chance on me." Pausing she remembered that moment perfectly. "I remember him walking around me, but I didn't pay attention until I heard the lock on the door snap."

Maggie took her hand and squeezed for support. She nodded for me to go on.

"I turned in my seat and he was looking at me differently than he ever had. I wasn't scared as much as confused."

"What about him was confusing, other than locking the door?"

"The smirk on his face. He stepped to me and offered a hand. I took it and he drew me to my feet. I was so confused that I didn't do much. I just stood there."

Then she thought back to that moment like walking into a memory.

_Jaden stood in front of her holding her hand, "You've done a good job so far, Regina. The clients like you." He circled her and appraised her like she was a prized calf. It unnerved her._

" _I'm glad," she said._

" _Tell me," he said behind her. His voice was too close for comfort. The hairs on the back of her neck rose. "How is the apartment working for you?"_

" _We like it, thank you." She jerked when his hands rested on her hips. "Mr. O'Malley."_

" _Shh," he said pressing his lips to the back of her neck. He reached up and brushed her hair away while his lips traveled up her neck and under her ear. "You're beautiful."_

_Frozen in place, she said, "This isn't right."_

_His hands were planted on her hips, "No one will know." He moved a hand down and unzipped her skirt. She began to shake with fear. The skirt hit the floor as he turned her. His hands were busy unbuttoning her blouse as he leaned forward and kissed her._

" _Stop," she tried to push him away, but he held her tighter._

" _You said you'd do what I asked. This is what I want." Her shirt was pushed off her shoulders and she stood in her underwear feeling exposed. "Do you want to stay in that apartment, keep this job?"_

" _Yes," she whispered._

" _Then," his finger slid between her breasts, "This is what I want. You whenever I feel the need."_

_Shame coated her like drying paint, "What about Janelle?"_

" _Janelle isn't in this room," he said unhooking her bra. The straps fell easily down, and it was on the floor with her other clothes. "You are, and I like what I see. What I feel," he said reaching up and cupping her breasts._

" _Please, don't," she whispered. "I didn't sign up for this."_

" _Yes, you did." He covered her breast with his mouth and her body reacted. She didn't have control and it shamed her further. "What'll it be, Regina." His fingers pushed the last remaining fabric from her body down her hips. "I make sure you keep this job, and I'll pay for that apartment you live in."_

_Regina started to panic when his fingers touched her between her thighs. "In exchange, I can touch you anytime I want." To prove it, he did. Her body shook and she hated herself. "We'll enjoy this together. Say yes," he said kissing her again. Toying with her._

_Her eyes were shut when she heard his belt unbuckle and his zipper lower. "Say yes," he said more gruffly. He turned her and lifted her onto the side of his desk. Poised between her legs, he waited._

_Regina looked down to see he was wrapped and ready. Hating herself and her body's attraction to him, she nodded. When he entered her, she knew she'd never be the same._

Tears streamed down her face as she finished telling the story. Maggie was hugging her.

Englewood turned off the recorder. "I think that's all for today. Let's pick this up tomorrow. Okay?"

"Thank you," Maggie said.

When they were alone, Maggie said, "That was brave of you to talk about."

"I'm gonna go lie down," Regina said. In the bedroom alone, she hid under the covers. What she didn't tell the cop, was that her body had been aroused and she'd orgasmed. She tried not to, but she couldn't stop it from happening. Ashamed, she surrendered to sleep.


	13. 13

For the next five days, Detective Englewood sat with Regina and went over each encounter, took down names, dates, locations, and any other information for the case. It was grueling, emotionally draining, and exhausting. Every night, she felt a piece of her being ripped out of her chest.

Even as that piece was ripped out, the woman she used to take up residence. Her confidence was lifted just a little. Englewood was careful, sensitive, and didn't push her too hard. Maggie had seen to that. In the chaos, she'd gotten Regina a good lawyer who would be discrete.

On a warmer afternoon, Regina sat on the grass with Maggie and Roland. Parker, the kitten, dozed lazily. Maggie asked, "Are you ready for the next step?"

"I'm not sure, yet." Regina closed her eyes as strands of hair billowed in the wind. "I think I should talk to Betty first," she said.

Maggie squeezed her hand. "That might be best. It's going to be a big case, it's sure to get media attention. You don't want her finding out that way."

No, she didn't. It would be hard enough to tell her. To say the words out loud and to see the way she saw her change. It would gut her to break the image. They saw her as sturdy, hardworking, independent. How odd that a bit of information could change that in a second.

Stretching her arms up and arching her back, she thought of a million things Betty could say. Agonizing over it wouldn't help, she mused. It would only break the strength and courage she carted around. "I guess now is better than never." Sitting up, she looked at Maggie.

Her rock in the storm that had become of her life. "I owe you, Mags."

"No, you don't," she smiled. Her eyes bright, her cheekbones raised in that sweet smile. "You owe yourself. Go."

Her hands trembled as she walked into the living room. Betty sat in her chair reclined with her knitting in her lap. She competently stitched bright blue flowers in the fabric. A smile playing at her lips as the rays of sun flirted with her hair. Silver, blonde, and hints of honey shone brightly like a halo. Fitting, she mused. Betty was an angel.

As she stood in the doorway, her knees were weak, her confidence not so strong. Tears filled her throat when Betty's head came up with a smile. "Regina, dear. Come sit with me."

"I wanted to talk to you," Regina began. "It's gonna be hard to hear and I hope you'll let me get this out before you interrupt."

Betty sensed the importance of the moment based on the look on Regina's face. Her stony face, hard eyes, and trembling lips made the back of her neck tingle. "Tell me."

Regina lost track of time as she went over her life. She decided to start from her time on the ranch. The bubbly and shy girl she was had so much to offer. Her big heart, her knowledge, and love for justice. It was her motivator. Yet, ironically, she didn't seem to fight for her own. Until now.

Regina explained how she'd come to depend on Jaden, even like him. Along the way, she'd been so confused and messed up, the lines were blurred. The like she'd thought she had for him had quickly and mercilessly turned to hate. Ethel, the golden retriever, sat beside her and put her head in Regina's lap sensing she needed support.

She stroked the dog's head softly as she described the embarrassing and humiliating things she'd allowed to transpire. Each time, she told this story, it hurt. Deeply like an open wound unable to be healed. An ache inside of her throbbed to the beat of her erratic heart.

This woman was her mother, for all intents and purposes, and she cared what she thought. When the words tumbled out of her mouth in quick and jerky breaths, she closed her eyes to shield herself from the pain. The dog nudged her to remind her she wasn't alone. When she was done, she sat in silence.

Looking up, she saw Betty had put her knitting aside. Tears trickled down her wrinkled cheeks. "My heart hurts for you," she said through a raspy voice. "To think you've carried that burden for so long and alone."

Her response confused Regina. "It was my fault."

"Don't you do that," Betty scolded. "Don't you put the blame solely on your shoulders. That man knew what he was doing. You may have gone along, but what choice did you have?" Her brows rose in challenge.

"I don't know," Regina said. "I could have reported him sooner."

"Yes," Betty nodded thoughtfully. "But then where would you be? Life has a way of getting us to go where it wants us to go. I think that bad things happen, but we can't let them break us." Their eyes met. "Has life broken you, dear?"

Tears fell silently, Regina sniffled, "It feels like it sometimes."

"You know, I think you believe that," she said disapprovingly. "I know you're stronger than you think you are. I need you to find that stubborn girl and I need you to find your anger."

"Anger?" Wiping the tears away, Regina shrugged. "It's mixed in."

Betty nodded, "It's buried underneath shame and humiliation. I can see it written all over your face. You have nothing to be ashamed of. If I were you, I'd have taken his balls and kicked them so far up his rear, he'd be a woman." Betty's face was red, her eyes hard.

"Betty!"

"What? I get angry too, don't you think otherwise," she huffed. Pushing to her feet, she rose from her chair and sat beside Regina. "I love you, Regina."

"I love you, too." Betty took her into her arms.

"Does Rob know what's been going on?"

Regina stiffened and sat up, "Some."

"He needs to know it all. You know he won't stop until he finds out. He's patient, to a point. Then, all bets are off. He's mad as a hornet right now because you refuse to talk to him."

"I know."

"Do you love him?" Betty's eyes were so compassionate.

"I don't know. I've always had strong feelings for him, you know I have, but love?" Her shoulder lifted and fell. "I don't think I can love anyone."

"I think you're wrong. I think that heart of yours is too big not to. You've put chains around it. It's time to unlock them." Betty paused. "He's waited long enough, Regina. That man would bend over backward for you. He has lost so much time. He's hurting too. Don't forget that."

…

Dante ran in circles around the new round pen Rob had put up. Over the last couple of weeks, he'd fallen in love with the house, the land. He liked having his space, air to breathe, quiet nights. The horses were his focus, he'd made them be. It was easier than letting his thoughts be occupied with what was happening with Regina.

Just thinking of her made him ache. There was a lot between them, too big a distance. It was frustrating and he'd tried to meet her in the middle. Only, she seemed content with pushing him away. As he drove Dante around, he let himself think. Too damn much.

Roland spent the weekend with her, he'd come back until mid-week, and he'd dropped him off yesterday. When he'd tried to talk to her, she'd excused herself. Politely, he recalled. Too polite, like they were strangers. The hell they were, he mused. "You don't make love to strangers," he said aloud.

Standing in the middle of the pen, he let the horse run. When the horse made no move to go to him, Rob had enough. He opened the gate and yelled, "Go on, then!" The horse didn't move. Rob slapped the rope on his hind and Dante bolted out of the gate. "Get out of here!"

His anger grabbed him by the throat but underneath it was hurt. Throwing the rope down, he strode to the house. He poured himself a drink he didn't want and downed it. Then, he poured another. The snifter came down on the table with a loud click.

He allowed himself an hour before he was calm enough to go after Dante. An hour to wallow in his own self-pity. When he walked outside it was edging to twilight. The sun hidden behind clouds as the sky burst with bronzes and pinks. Looking out, he saw the horse in the field.

Walking slowly, he got about twenty feet away when Dante turned to look at him. It seemed like they were facing each other down like a wild west shootout. Neither moved, neither broke eye-contact. The only movement was the flick of the animal's tail.

Rob didn't know how long he stood there before the horse took a tentative step toward him. He stayed rooted in his spot. He stood there another thirty minutes before the horse slowly made his way to him. Dante lowed his head. Rob reached out and put a hand on his neck, rubbed him down a bit.

When Dante lifted his head, he nudged Rob's shoulder. The connection was there, he mused. The animal sensed his hurt, his anger. When Rob put him away, he felt calmer. Less stressed. In the house, he went to Roland's room. Unpacked boxes sat in his room.

Opening the first, he set down a stack of comic books. Organizing them in type, he put them on his Spiderman bookshelf. He put pillowcases and a comforter on the bed. Posters were tacked to the wall. A mess of action figures on the top shelf made it look like a child's room.

He bought web-shooters and put them next to the new rotating night lamp. A mess of toys in a blue toybox sat on a Spiderman rug. He looked around the room. For his last touch, he put glowing stars on the ceiling. It took him this long to get it done because he wanted it to be a surprise.

Going downstairs, he fixed himself a simple dinner and called Regina. Roland's voice came on the line, "Hey, daddy."

"Hey, bud. How was your day?" The anxiety left him when his son began his long explanation, in detail, of what he'd done that day. Most times, he wouldn't mind. Right now, he was itching to talk to Regina. No matter what it took.

"Can I talk to your mom?" He heard shuffling on the other line and Roland talking, but it was muffled. "She's talking to the policeman, but she said she'd be a minute."

"Alright," Rob's back tightened. "Are you taking care of Parker?"

"Yea, he's in my room sleeping. Mom put a cage in there," he complained. "I don't like it."

"What your mom says goes," he offered knowing it wouldn't do much. "I have a surprise for you. I finished your room."

"Really? I can't wait to see it. What did you get?"

Rob grinned at his enthusiasm. "You'll have to wait and see. I'm not giving it away. Trust me, you'll love it."

"Okay, how's boulder?"

"He's good. He misses you." I do too, he thought. He'd gotten so attached to him already. He was afraid that if Regina returned to the city, they'd miss out on time together. It seemed there was a lot happening and he wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Can I ride him this weekend?"

"Of course, you can."

"Dad, here's mom. I love you," he said before handing off the phone.

"Rob?" Regina's voice came on the line.

"You sound tired," he commented.

She sighed, "It's been a rough week."

"Are you alright?" He ached to hug her. To touch her. To talk to her like he wanted to. All this polite conversation made his stomach hurt.

"I will be," she said.

"Regina, I need to talk to you, but I'd rather do this face to face."

"Rob…"

"I've given you space, haven't I?" She was pushing him away again and he wasn't going to let her.

"Yes, but now isn't a good time. I told you I'm dealing with this," she said quietly.

"I could be there for you," he pointed out. "If you let me."

"That's sweet of you, but this is hard for me," she admitted. "I'm not trying to ignore you, Robin. I promise."

"What exactly are you doing?"

"I told you, I'm reporting Jaden. It takes time to build a case. This case is bigger than most. We're talking about a lot of people."

"Who? These men?" He tried to keep the disdain out of his voice.

"They're powerful people, with money and influence. I'm just a lawyer," she said. "Unless they can find evidence, it's my word against theirs."

"Regina, I miss you," he said sounding desperate. He was. "Let me help you with this."

"No." She paused. "I can't, I need to do this. I need to stand on my own and I can't do that if you try to come to my defense and act like a knight in shining armor."

"Who said I would?"

"It's who you are," she said. She was right. He wanted to make it all better. He knew he couldn't.

"Will, you at least tell me the whole story? I need to know." He took a breath.

"I…"

"Please," he said letting all the emotion he felt into his voice.

There was silence on the line for too long. "Regina?"

"Okay," she whispered. "I'll meet you at the house in the morning and we'll talk. But after I tell you, I need time. Deal?"

"Deal."

…

Regina drove up the lane to the house with what felt like bats flapping in her stomach. Pulling up next to Rob's truck, she shut off the ignition to Maggie's SUV. Taking a deep breath, she got out of the truck. Rob opened the door before she could knock.

Reaching up, he brushed his fingers under her eyes, "You haven't been sleeping."

"Not as much as I'd like," she admitted walking inside. She didn't know where to go until Rob's hand rested on her lower back and led her through the kitchen and out onto the porch. Flowers of yellows, blues, and reds filled the pots. A hummingbird feeder hung on a post, a bird hovering to feed.

"Sit down," he nudged her into a chair. Sitting down beside her, he asked, "Where's Roland?"

"I left him with Jack," she moved her shoulder. "He likes working in the barn."

"I know." The silence between them was tough to take. She hated the distance, but she wasn't ready to let him in. "Relax," he whispered. His hands reached up to ease the tension in her shoulders. For a moment, she enjoyed it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her shoulder. "Talk to me."

With trembling fingers, she nodded. "I'll tell you if you promise not to interrupt me." Taking his hands, she stopped him from touching her. "Not to touch me." Turning, she met his eyes. "Promise me."

He seemed to think it over before he nodded, "I promise. But…" He took her face in his hands and rested his lips over hers softly for a moment. "I needed to do that first," he said.

Regina stood and began to tell her story, but she paced. Her boots clicked and slid on the wood. Her hands became animated, her heart beat faster. Not once did she dare look at him. She didn't want to see his reactions, his faces, or the anger she knew was underneath it all. As she continued quickly through the toughest parts of it, her shoulders tensed.

Telling him about the last week of reporting, talking about it, seeing a therapist, made her feel better. With her back to him, she stopped pacing. Standing looking out at the beautiful view of the mountains, trees, river, it was like a painting.

Silence engulfed them. Afraid to face him, she said, "I've made mistakes. I've let things happen, and I know that I shouldn't feel like it was my fault." Pausing, she hugged herself. "I know I shouldn't but it's hard not to. I do blame myself and I do think it was partly my doing."

Rob didn't move or say a word. Regina thought he would. "I'm working on it," she whispered. Watching a hawk circling in the air looking for prey, she felt like that encompassed her situation. Jaden had preyed on her and she'd been too small to fight back.

She heard the slam of the screen door and turned to see Rob walking inside and up the stairs. Closing her eyes, she slumped down to sit on the couch. It was too much, she mused. She thought he'd break, but instead, he'd walked off. Maybe it was better he said nothing at all. For a few minutes, she sat in silence. Then, she stood and walked around the house. Slowly, she walked around the property, stopped at the barn to say hello to the horses, watched a family of squirrels in a tree, and tried to calm herself.

When she figured Robin wasn't coming back outside, she decided to go back to the car. She'd done what he'd asked, she told him the whole story. As she rounded the front yard, she walked to Maggie's car. When she reached for the door, Rob opened the screen door.

Their eyes met as he walked toward her holding a small box. There was a strain on his face, pain in his eyes. "I want you to have this."

Looking inside, she saw a handful of small journals. "What are they?"

"They're you," he said sliding his hands in his pockets. "Every word I wrote has you in it."

"Rob…"

"They were written when we were kids," he interrupted her. "And after. I wrote about you for six years. I want you to have them, to see the woman you were to me," he explained. A tear fell down his cheek. "The woman you are."

"Thank you," she whispered unsure of what else to say.

Meeting his gaze, she said, "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"For being stupid," she shrugged. "Maybe if I'd taken you seriously, this wouldn't have happened."

"No," he said taking her by the shoulders. "We're not going to talk like that. You told me," he said with a strained voice. "Thank you for that, now I'm letting you take some time. Read the journals." He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips. "Let me help remind you who you are."

When he stepped back, she nodded, got in the vehicle, and drove off feeling more confused than ever.


	14. 14

The clouds rolled in, the ground shook with thunder, and the wind whipped the windchimes wildly on the back porch. It tasted of rain in the air before the first sprinkles hit Rob's face. Dante and Boulder were out in the field long past time to be put into the barn.

Struggling against the wind, he wheeled the last barrel of manure out to the pile. Lightning flashed in the sky threatening with the pending storm. In the barn, he shut the side door and went out to get the horses. When he got past the fence, the sky opened and the poured down on him.

For a minute, he let the sky flood him head to foot. It described the lashing he earned. Shaking off the thoughts that tried to slip into his mind, he focused on his task.

With an oath, he picked up the pace and jogged out to where Boulder stood. Hooking the rope on his halter, he turned to walk to Dante. Boulder went along without a fuss. When he stood in front of Dante, he reached out to hook him on, but he stepped back.

Dante shook with fear, Rob saw the wild craziness in his eyes. "It's okay, buddy. Let's go." He reached again and the horse reared up and stomped on the ground. It took some time, cursing, and grit for Rob to finally get ahold of him. He led the horses into the barn, his wet boots squishing with each step he took.

His heartbeat recklessly in his chest, he was shivering from the cold and hurried to strip just inside the back door. "Dad!" He stopped. "Why are you naked?"

"I was wet," he said simply. "Get me a towel, will you?"

Roland retrieved one from the hall closet and handed it to him. "Did you get the horses?"

"Yes." Rob walked through the house with the towel wrapped around his hips. "I'll change and we'll eat dinner."

"Okay. I'll get the stuff out," he said.

As Rob was about to go upstairs, a knock came at the door. More like pounding. He opened the door to Maggie who stood holding an umbrella. The rain pelted the fabric, but she was relatively dry. "Hi." She grinned looking beautiful. "Can I come in?"

"Yea," he said opening the door. "I just came in from the rain," explaining his attire. His soaked clothes on the kitchen floor for proof. "I'll be right back." He ran up the stairs and put some clothes on. When he walked into the kitchen ten minutes later, Maggie stood pouring a cup of coffee.

"Here, I thought you'd need this." Handing him the mug, she said, "Sorry for showing up, but I wanted to talk. You have a minute?" Her eyes traveled to Roland for a second.

Rob took a long swallow not caring that the liquid was close to burning his tongue. His eyes locked on hers, "Sure. I was about to make dinner. Hungry?"

"I could eat." Maggie poured herself a drink, poured milk she took from the fridge and sat down at the table.

"Roland, go upstairs." He said turning to make sense of what was on the counter.

"But I'm hungry," he complained.

Rob looked at him directly, "I'll call you for dinner. Go." Roland hesitated for a minute before he did what he was told. "How's it going, Maggie?"

"It's been a rough couple of weeks, for all of us," she said. He glanced at her. She didn't look tired like he'd seen with Regina. Then, she seemed like a woman who had a plethora of energy and little baggage.

"I can imagine," he said struggling to allow his thoughts to wander. He had a tight lid on them lately. He'd let himself think the day after Regina left his house. After she poured out her soul. Clenching his jaw, he reigned in his thoughts and his emotions as he'd done for the last week. It did no good to visit them.

As Rob worked on a casserole—Roland's favorite—Maggie said, "Regina and I have to go to the city. I wanted to make sure that Roland could stay here or with Jack."

"Of course, he can." Rob worked with practiced efficiency, but he was sensing this talk had more to do with Roland and it angered him. He'd already made her a promise, hadn't he?

Maggie watched him bank his anger, but she sensed the hurt under it. Setting her cup on the table, she said what she came to say. "We'll be in the city for a while, Rob. I suspect you'll come up with a plan for visits with Roland. But what I wanted to say is that she's gonna need some time."

Throwing a handful of onions in the bowl, he bit out, "I'm giving it to her."

"To what end?" He turned and met her eyes. Lethal, deadly, terrifying, Maggie thought. There was more than hurt in him. Maybe there was something dangerous, but she didn't know him well enough to know what it was. "She's been seeing a therapist, she's been sulky, quiet, and I know she's processing. I'm asking that even when you see her, you give her the time she needs."

"I said I would. So, I will. You didn't have to waste a trip in the rain, Maggie."

Controlled, she mused. He was controlling that temper. How long until it erupted, she wondered. "Alright. I came to give you this." Setting an envelope on the table, she watched his eyes glare at it.

"What is it?" He continued to work.

With a smirk, she knew he was curious. "Regina sent it. I didn't open it."

"I'll look at it later," he said wondering what was in it. To stop himself from wondering, he forcefully made his mind go blank. "Roland's upstairs stewing. Maybe you can read to him while I cook. It'll be twenty minutes."

She was being dismissed, she mused. That was easy enough to see. "Alright. Thanks for the coffee." When she stood, she paused to put a hand on his shoulder and felt him tense. "I'm sorry this is so hard."

He met her eyes, "Just take care of her." For a second, he saw sympathy and loathed it. Turning, he put the dish in the oven. Glancing at her retreating back, he took the envelope and walked out onto the porch. He opened it and found a check inside. Frowning, he opened the note and read.

_Rob,_

_I'm going back to the city and wanted to leave this for you. Roland tends to need a lot of things. I didn't want it to solely be on your shoulders. I'll let you know what my schedule is, and we can figure out when I'll send for him._

_Regina._

Send for him? The hell was this? The letter was insulting, he ripped up the check and the letter. Inside, he shoved them in the trash and poured his untouched coffee on top of it. That's what he feels about her damn letter. He picked up the phone and waited to hear her voice.

"Hello?"

To keep it simple, he only said, "I don't want your damn money. Keep it, he's my son. That letter is an insult. And you don't need to send Maggie here to tell me to leave you alone. I said I would. I keep my damn word. If you're leaving and taking my son, let me know what you plan to do. Otherwise, you can go to hell." The hung up and slammed his fist into the wall. It hurt less than the storm inside of him.

…

Regina's head snapped back, and the color drained from her face. Setting her phone down, she felt the tears before they streamed down her face. Closing her eyes, she cursed herself. She knew she'd hurt him; she knew that telling him her story was going to. She wished she knew what he felt. What he was thinking.

When she'd left his house that day, his eyes had been carefully blank. She couldn't remember ever seeing him that way. He'd been so easy to read before. Now, she wasn't sure what was in his head. At least she knew how to recognize anger. Temper. It was alive in him. Every word had felt like he was spitting in her face.

She hadn't meant to send Maggie; she'd only give her the letter because she said she was going that way. Now, slumping back on the couch, she wiped her eyes. He sounded angry and maybe under the hurt and the anger, she heard disgust.

It wasn't far from what she thought he'd feel. Knowing she'd been with so many men would bend any man's ego. She'd been wrong to think Rob was different. Allowing herself to wallow only for a few minutes, she closed her eyes.

Then, she turned her laptop on, and a video called Dr. Billings. It felt good to tell her what happened, how he'd reacted, and to get an unbiased opinion on the matter. Dr. Billings told her that it sounded distant and almost cruel. Regina hadn't thought so.

She didn't plan on taking Roland from him and after seeing the way they were together; she knew she never would. Never could. They were bonded for life. Dr. Billings told her to give it a few days before trying to reach out to Rob again. So, she'd taken her advice.

Then, when Maggie and she were settled in on Maggie's back porch, she texted him. It seemed safer.

REGINA: I'M SORRY IF THE NOTE SOUNDED INSENSITIVE AND DETACHED. I WOULD NEVER TAKE ROLAND FROM YOU. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE ANGRY, BUT I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO HELP FINANCIALLY.

It seemed like he took eons to answer. It wasn't until they'd settled in, eaten dinner, and taken a walk along the water that he finally texted her back.

ROB: KEEP YOUR MONEY. IT'S MY TURN TO PITCH IN.

Looking down, she sighed.

REGINA: ALRIGHT. AND THE REST? DID YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

Sitting down and letting her feet hang over the ledge, she waited. And waited. After an hour, she figured he meant it. Closing her eyes, she had to accept it. They spent nearly a decade apart. He didn't owe her anything.

Maybe life just wasn't going to go any other way than it had been. The mistakes she'd made were her own. The consequences were what had happened to her. She thought of the box of journals Rob gave her. They were locked in the cabin, where she'd left them.

For days, she wanted to read them. To find the words he'd poured into them. But she couldn't read them. She felt like she was invading his privacy. So, she'd put them in the closet and tried to forget about them. They taunted her. Now, she didn't want them. It would hurt too much.

…

For the next few weeks, Regina focused on nothing but the case. The reports, the arrests, the search warrants. It was all she allowed herself to focus on. Jaden's home and office were searched, and they'd found pictures, videos, and evidence that he'd prepared to post some of them online. Thankfully, he hadn't.

On a Friday afternoon, she watched from her TV set in Maggie's guest room as the reporter made the announcement. "I'm standing outside of Campbell, O'Malley, and Morrison. All of the lawyers, two legal aids, and an office manager have been taken into custody. It appears they were involved in the sex trafficking of an unnamed ex-employee."

The camera focused on Jaden and his partner being put into police cars. The reporter went on, "It's unclear what the charges are, but are said to be multiple. Stay tuned for more at eleven."

Regina shut the set-off and felt pressure in her chest. Detective Englewood had made the call just before she saw the news. It was inching to two o'clock and she wasn't sure what to do with herself. She'd done what she could do. In telling her story, reporting Jaden and the other men, she'd been asked to take a leave of absence from the District Attorney's office.

At least it was paid, she mused. Roland was still with Rob and she'd spent a lot of time on the phone with him. However, she hadn't spoken to Rob since he'd told her to go to hell. Well, she stewed. He hadn't even answered her text. So, she let it go. Let him go.

Miserable, she looked around the guest room of Maggie's. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do. She couldn't stay here forever. For now, it would do. It would have to. Her savings sat untouched and she had plans to buy a house someday. Right now, she slumped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling, there wasn't anything she could do but wait it out. This ride would be rough and hard.

Feeling lonely, she picked up the phone and called Rob's landline. It rang several times and went to the machine. If there was one thing he didn't want to do, was leave a message on his phone. So, she hung up and hoped he'd call later.

As she wallowed in her loneliness, she decided a walk would do her some good. The sun was out and shining, she enjoyed the warmth. The laziness of her steps echoed silently on the sidewalk. All around her was the noise, people, traffic, life.

The streets were full of pedestrians coming and going to shops, restaurants, and work. As she passed the bakery, she inhaled the mixture of sugar. Her stomach rumbled so she treated herself to a piece of fudge. Along the way to the river, she stopped in at her favorite café and got an iced coffee.

Routine, she told herself. That's what you could count on. Though, in her heart, she missed Roland and…She shook that thought away. She couldn't miss him, she chastised herself. It was stupid to think like that. They weren't involved and by the looks of it, wouldn't be. So, why linger on impossible dreams.

When she saw a man in a cowboy hat, she thought of Jack. His weathered face, his quick grin. Those clear blue eyes were calm and thoughtful. She missed the ranch and her small little cabin. The quiet, she mused as she passed a loud and busy pub.

Crossing the street, she entered River Park and walked along the dirt path. Trees swallowed her and shielded her from the city as it had at the little house Rob took her to. His house. His haven. It had been her sanctuary for a time. Now, it was a distant memory. A place she was no longer welcome, she reminded herself.

As she walked to the bridge overlooking the water, she watched the ducks glide along causing ripples, squawking, and diving under the water. They looked so majestic, so serene, so unbothered. A child threw crumbs of bread in the water and they went crazy squabbling over each other to get a bite.

Her mind continued to drift to Rob and Roland and wondered what they were doing right now. They'd be in the barn or the field working with the horses. Maybe a ride out in the hills to feel the sun. Or sitting in the kitchen with a puzzle, a project, or watching TV together snuggled up on the couch. Her heart longed for the simplicity of those things.

Sometimes she wanted to go back to the girl she was. To the last summer, she spent with Rob and tell him she'd marry him. Then, she'd have never met Jaden. Her heart tugged. She'd never had gone to school, to law school, to work. If she'd stayed, she'd be at home when he came home and be dull and boring.

God, she plucked a flower from the bush and threw it in the water. That would've driven her crazy, she admitted. She loved her job, the good it did, the difference she makes. Until recently, she rarely took time off unless Roland needed her. That was another guilt trip to have, she thought turning to walk again.

Roland grew too fast and she wished she'd been there for him. More than she had been, she amended. He was bright, funny and full of fire. He was wild and carefree, things she always wanted to be. They didn't suit her; it was like putting on a suit and pretending to be something she wasn't.

Edging out of the park, she used the same path to go back to Maggie's. This time, there was more noise, more people, more traffic. The quick burst of laughter, the loud chatter, it graded on her nerves now. Before, she'd tuned it out and gone about her business.

As she walked into the house, she relished the quiet. The silence of the house wasn't the same as the openness of Rob's pasture. Of that little back porch where she could sit and listen to earth breathe animals meander. In the kitchen, she found Maggie and David. "Hi."

"Hey, did you enjoy your walk?" David kissed her cheek.

"Yea, I guess." Her shoulder lifted.

"I talked to a friend and I wanted you to know that Jaden's being held without bond. So are all his co-conspirators. The trial date should be announced in the next week or so."

"Good," she said with a nod. "One less thing to worry about." Trying to walk out of the room, she stopped when Maggie took her arm.

"Regina, they wanted me to give you something," she said softly.

"What?"

"Come on," she took her hand and led Regina into the guest room. In the doorway, Regina stopped and stared. Boxes and boxes were lined along the wall. "The pictures and videos," Maggie explained. "You can do what you want with them."

"I…" Regina stepped to one and lifted the lid. DVDs were labeled with dates, times, and who appeared in them. She swallowed down a curse when she read a disgusting comment on each of them. The top one read: _The first time I shared._

"What do I do with them? I don't want to watch them," she whispered.

"I had an idea, but you may not like it," Maggie said behind her.

"What?"

Picking up a box, Maggie put it on the bed. "You can trade."

"Trade?" Regina turned and saw the box of Rob's journals. "Maggie…"

"You haven't read them, and I know why. You don't want to see what pain he was in. I think you should. In exchange, I think you should send these to him and let him see exactly what happened to you. It's a trade. Your hurt for his."

"No," Regina snapped. "I won't let him see me like that."

"Why not? He's given you his hurt in this box. You chose not to read them. You chose to keep them in this box. Well, you can't do that with your feelings, Regina. Life doesn't work that way. You ever think how much this hurts him?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I do, but it doesn't make it less hard. He's angry with me and I get it."

"Think about it. Read the journals, then decide if you can open yourself up like he has. He doesn't know that you haven't read the journals. To my thinking, he thinks that you have and still don't want to meet him halfway. He's proud."

Sitting on the bed, Regina sighed, "I don't know what to do."

"Read them," Maggie said pulling out the first journal and handing it to her. "That's a good place to start."


	15. 15

Sitting on the floor, journals spread out, coffee next to her, Regina read on. The sun rays slanted through the blinds, a breeze fluttered on her face from the open window, and the sound of city noise filled the room. Somehow, it helped to read with the noise.

If she were to read in silence, she mused, it would feel too intimate. Too real and raw. The smell of her empty coffee cup filled her nostrils.

For days, Regina closed herself in her room, ate little, and read. Her eyes were tired, her head was pounding, and her heart was raw. Rob laid out all his emotions in each word on the pages in the journals he'd given her. There were things he wrote that she didn't know. Things he'd never shared. Fears and worries. Pain and insecurities.

Anger and resentment filled the pages after she'd left that summer. Regina recalled getting his first letter. He'd wished her well, asked her how classes were going, and not once revealed what she read.

At current, she read the passage he'd written about her rejection. He'd intended to propose properly, to build a life, have a family. The boy who wrote these words was foreign to her. A stranger. A man's promises. He felt things so deeply, yet he never shared his feelings. How could she blame him?

Drinking the remainder of the drop in her cup, she read his words and tried to hear his voice.

_She's gone. I watched her get into the truck and leave the way she'd come. Swiftly. It hurts like hell. I want to hate her for letting me fall so hard. If she'd known she wouldn't stay, why the hell did she let me get into her bed? I never would've touched her had I thought she'd leave. I wanted to be her first. Her only. Now, who knows. She'll find someone, get married, and have the kids that we should have. I feel like she took my damn heart with her. The hell with it, it belongs to her. Even if she won't have it._

_I'm a man. She made me a man. I resent her for it. Katie down the street would be a distraction. It's not like she hasn't tried. Hell, maybe I'll forget about Regina if I give in. Anything is better than this empty feeling. I'm empty. Alone. Damn woman, I should never have slept with her. To hell with her. God, I miss her._

Guilt clawed its way into her gut and settled deep in her belly. Closing her eyes, Regina let the pain come. Swift and relentless, tears fell down her cheeks. She wished she'd never left him. But wishing for things of the past was useless. A waste of energy. It was depressing.

She needed a break. Folding the journal over on her bed, she piled the rest in boxes labeled for what she'd read. In the kitchen, she rinsed her cup and found Maggie typing on her laptop. "Hey. Working from home?"

"Reports. You okay? You look a little pale." Maggie's eyes were assessing and direct.

"I haven't been sleeping well," she admitted. Turning, she shrugged, "I started reading the journals."

"And?" Interested, Maggie perked up.

"I'm surprised he gave them to me; he had a lot to say about me. A lot of it not good." Rubbing the ache behind her eyes, she sighed, "I've decided what I want to do about the videos."

Maggie shut the lid to her laptop. "What's that?"

"I don't know if I can handle Rob watching them. Why would he want to? I'm gonna get rid of them."

"Well," Maggie said standing and taking her hand. "He'll never know unless he sees. Whatever is going on in his head will never be the real thing. It may be worse. Show him one of them. One of the first. Then, burn them. Together."

"Burn them?" It was an idea, sure. One that she wouldn't exactly discount.

"It'll be cathartic." Handing her a full cup of coffee, Maggie nudged her into a chair.

"I guess that's true. I just…How can he see that video and want anything to do with me? I'm not a child, I know what he's thinking. I was with a lot of men." Setting her cup aside untasted, her fingers twirled around the handle.

"Not by choice."

"Maggie at first, I enjoyed my time with Jaden. That puts this knot in my stomach. To know that for that short time, I didn't fight it. I started to like him. To think that we could've had something more. Even if how it started was horrible."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" She took the chair next to Regina.

"When things changed, I couldn't admit it out loud. He was charming at first, took an interest in me, and the sex was good. For a while, but he got bored." Swallowing, she tried not to think about the details of it. "I didn't even get a warning the first time he brought someone else in the bedroom." A tear trickled down her cheek.

"Regina…" Maggie's hand settled on hers. "That doesn't make you a bad person. The important thing is you knew who he was once he made that move. I know how you feel about him. He's not getting out of prison and I'm happy with that. Are you?"

"Yes, of course, I am. Knowing I don't have to worry about him takes the weight off."

"You're doing so well, the therapist helps, and you seem a little lighter."

"I feel a lot better, but I still carry a lot of shame, a lot of guilt. I need to figure out what to do next."

Maggie nodded, "I know. What do you plan on doing with Rob? He's not backing down."

Regina's lip was bit between her teeth. "He told me to go to hell. I feel like that's clear enough."

"What? When the hell did, he say that?" Maggie's face heated and her eyes flashed with anger.

"The day you went to see him. I gave you that letter and he called me. I didn't get a word in. He thought I sent you and was insulted. Told me to let him know what I planned to do with Roland as if I'd be taking him from him." Shaking off the absurdity, she continued. "Told me to go to hell. I tried to ask if he meant it, he never responded."

Maggie stood, "I'm sorry. Don't listen to what he said, he was probably angry. He's crazy about you and miserable that you're not around him. When I say your name, he gets this look in his eyes. He loves you."

"No. He loves who I used to be. I'm not the woman I was a decade ago. I was a girl."

"So? He knows his own mind and heart. Do you?"

Drinking the coffee to delay her answer, she drank the entire hot beverage in one gulp. "I'm scared."

"Good. That's a good place to start. Now, I think you should take my advice. Give him the video. Tell him you read the journals when you're done."

"Alright," she nodded. "I'll give Rob the video. The first one where Jaden made me…" Closing her eyes, she took a moment. "I don't know what to say to him. Do I mail it?"

Maggie tsked her tongue, "Absolutely not. Take it to him in person. Lay it out for him and then tell him that you plan to burn the rest. Maybe you should burn those journals too. Get rid of the past and start fresh. That's what I'd do."

"I wanna finish reading first. Then, I'll figure out what to say to him."

…

Roland and Rob sat huddled around the stack of twigs, leaves, logs, and paints. At the beginning of summer, Rob had promised to help build a cabin out of things found around the property. While it wasn't his father's ranch, Rob mused, his made it all the better. The only regret was how upset Roland was that Regina wasn't there to help.

With a picture in mind, they set to glue logs together in a rectangle. It took precision, patience, and time. Their fingers worked to hold the wood together. Adding the twigs and leaves as the roof, the glue became a bit more difficult. Rob suggested using an oven mitten to protect them from the heat.

While they worked, the house filled with the smell of cookies baking in the oven, the sound of the music playing, and their laughter. Rob loved his son more than he ever thought he could. The more time he had with him, the harder it was to imagine him leaving.

Soon, he mused, Roland would be going back to school. Back to a life that he wasn't a part of. A place in the city he despised. After leaving Marcy, he'd vowed never to live in the city again. It was loud, busy, and there was too much to focus on.

He preferred the simple things. A dependable profession, animals to keep you busy, and a strong back. The harder you worked, the more honorable you were. Horses gave him the work; his son gave him love. Yet, he longed for more. More days like this, more moments like this. The oven timer buzzed and rang.

Rob took his moment to retrieve the cookies and put them on the stove to cool. When he walked back into the room, a knock on the door interrupted their day. Frowning, Rob went to the door and opened it. For a moment, he only stared.

Regina stood looking beautiful, her eyes were clear, though they showed apprehension. Her hands pressed together in front of her, his eyes scanned down the front of the dress that clung to her body. White with red polka dots and a skirt that flared out mid-thigh. Had he ever seen her looking so lovely?

Finding his manners and his voice, he stepped back to let her in, "Look who's here?"

Roland turned his head, "Mom! We're building the cabin. What do you think?" His hand gestured to their unfinished project.

Regina's heels echoed along the hardwood floor and Rob's eyes, god help him, lingered on them. The way her leg muscles contracted distracted him, his mouth was dry. His tongue was tied. "I think it looks amazing. Look at the roof." Her fingers toyed with the drying leaves.

"Dad is gonna help me glue some straw from the barn to the top. To make it look better. Right now, we have to wait for it to dry. Then, we can paint it. You wanna help? You promised to help us." Rob saw the innocence in his son's eyes. Oblivious to the tension in the room.

"Sure. But I need to talk to your dad, okay?" With unsure eyes, she turned toward Rob. "Do you have a minute?" It was unnerving to see her so confident, so beautiful. Standing in front of him, he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her. He held off.

"Sure." He felt clumsy with himself. His hands slid into his pockets to keep from touching her. The nerves in his belly and the guilt combined into an unpleasant mixture. He'd been cruel, brash, and rude the last time they'd spoken. He led her out onto the porch and gestured for her to sit.

Her lips curved into a small smile, "I'm sorry for dropping in on you like this." The truth was, he knew he'd been dodging her calls.

"It's alright," he said taking the seat she declined to take. "What's up?"

Regina paced down to the end of the porch and looked out before walking back. Her fingers twisted together before she spoke. "Do you remember the time when we were kids and we got stuck in the rain? I went out for a ride thinking I could beat the storm. My horse slid and I fell off. I twisted my ankle and sat under the rocks."

He remembered. "Yea."

Glancing at him, she nodded. "You didn't hesitate to help me. To nurse me like I was a wounded bird too delicate to care for myself."

"That's not how I remember it." He watched her fidget, if he was near her, he'd probably hear her heart beating in her chest. He couldn't say why it was rewarding to see her so nervous. "You were too stubborn to ask for help."

She smiled and his chest tightened. "I may have been. The point is, you picked me up and took me back to the ranch. You gave me your coat and got sick with a cold. You were in bed for a week after that."

"Would you rather it had been you?" He didn't understand where she was going with this walk down memory lane.

Turning, she met his eyes. "That's so like you. To simplify things. To brush off the good you do and label it as a duty."

His shoulder jerked, "It was my responsibility to look after you."

"Yes, it was." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Until I left and you couldn't do that anymore."

He didn't answer. Only watched her take a step toward him. "You never told me how you felt, Rob. How you were so sick and hurting. I read about it," she whispered. "In your journal."

His stomach tightened at the thought of her reading his words. "You read them? I figured you did and discounted them. After that detached letter…"

"I hadn't read them then," she said, and his brow rose in surprise. "I read them all this week, in fact."

He swallowed. "I see." Sitting beside him, the breeze fluttered around her hair. Her scent surrounded him like a fog. So sweet and spicy. So arousing, he shifted.

"I had no idea you felt so strongly. So deeply," she said. "You made it seem like you were fine. It infuriated me," she admitted.

"What?" He frowned at her. "Why?"

"Selfishly, I wanted you to miss me. But I also wanted to find my own way. To go to school. Only, I missed you something terrible those first few months."

"Did you?" This was news to him.

"Yes," she sighed. "It seems that I did nothing but think of you. Then, when I found out I was pregnant, it was…" Wistfully, she settled back on the bench. "I can't wish things of the past. It's useless. I can say that I'm sorry I handled it poorly."

His heart was hurting to have her close like this and not be able to touch. To soothe the worry in her. "You did what you had to do."

"Maybe." Turning, she met his eyes, "I came here because I wanted to give you something. Only I'm terrified to."

"What is it?"

Pulling out a small flash drive from her pocket, she offered it. "Before I tell you what's on this, I think I should tell you that Jaden isn't getting out of prison. His trial will come, but he'll never be free."

Triumph and pride lifted her face until her cheeks bloomed with it. "Good. That's where he belongs." The way he bit off the words showed his loose control over his temper when it came to him.

"Yes, it is." Restless he asked, "What's on this?"

Regina stood to pace again, "I'm taking Maggie's advice and offering you a deal."

"A deal?"

"Yes. Here's the thing. I've been working on myself and I know that I have a long road ahead of me." She glanced at him and continued. "I'm willing to meet you halfway."

He waited and tried to process what she was telling him. "Meet me halfway?"

"Well," she said stopping. "You laid out your thoughts and feelings to me. You didn't have to do that. Now, I'd like to be completely honest with you." Trembling, she wrapped herself close. He yearned to the one to soothe her. "That drive holds a video of the first time Jaden gave me to his colleague."

Rob's stomach hurt as the anger spread. He stared down at the little white plastic and wanted to crush it under his boot. "Why give this to me?"

With a shaky voice, she said, "I want you to watch it. I know there are things going through your mind and I'd rather you have the truth. So, it's all there. Then, you're done, I want to burn it and the rest of them."

"Wait." He stared in shock. "There was more than one video?"

"Yes," she nodded. "All of the men I had to…I want you to watch this one because it is the same as the rest. I know it is a lot to ask."

"Regina…I can't watch this." He tried to hand it back, but she closed his fingers over it and pushed his hand away.

"Please, watch it. Then, when you have, I want to burn them."

"I…" He couldn't believe she wanted him to see such a thing. "I can't watch you with another man."

"It's not what you think." Something flashed in her eyes. "Do this for me, please. Then, I'd like to burn them and your journals. If you truly feel like you can…" Shaking her head, she whirled away.

"I can what?" He stood and for the first time since he'd opened the door to her, he touched her. His hand came gently on her shoulder to turn her.

"Did you mean it?" Tears swam in her eyes and he wanted to bring her to him, though he felt he had no right.

"Did I mean what?" His jaw clenched when a tear fell.

"That you want me to go to hell or were you just angry?" Her lip bit down on her lip and drew his eyes.

"At the time I meant it," he said softly. "I was angry, and I thought you'd sent Maggie here."

"I didn't." Her chin came up and he wanted. God, he wanted to kiss her. "I gave her the note because she was coming here. Nothing more. Are you still angry with me?" Her hand came to his chest. "I'd never take Roland from you. You know that, right?"

His eyes scanned her face, "Yes, I know that."

With a nod, she dropped her hand. "Good. Watch it," she said. "I'll give you some time to process it. It won't be an easy thing to see."

"I don't want to see it," he pressed.

"I know. I think it'll clear up whatever is going on in that head of yours. I'm sure you've tortured yourself enough with images of it." He didn't miss the tick of her jaw.

"Alright," he amended. "I'll watch it. Later when I can wrap my head around it. Will you stay for Roland?"

"Yea, I'll stay for a bit. I promised to help, didn't I?" She smiled.

When she brushed past him, he took her arm. "I'm sorry," he said in her ear. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to her temple. Her arms came around him and he buried his face in her hair. All the tension and all the stress and hurt he'd been carrying around slipped away.

It seemed for the moment, they could just be and ignore what was left unsaid between them.


	16. 16

The air chilled in the coming weeks of fall. The leaves changed from vivid greens to oranges, yellows, and browns. The ground was littered with the dead carcasses of them while others clung to the branches for life. The pines were still a deep green that brought color while the sky faded to grey.

Extra hay was added to the barn, heaters hung over the stalls, and feed bins filled to the brim in preparation of a hard winter. The air stung Rob's face as he mucked out the stalls. The smell of manure was masked with the buckets of cinnamon, pumpkin, and spices Roland put together for the town.

Rob was now a permanent fixture and welcomed by his neighbors. Roland's favorite place to spend was at the local diner. His favorite treat was the blueberry scones. When it was still hot, it was ice cream with chocolate. Fall was edging into his view and he was hoping to see Roland soon.

Inside the house, Rob walked into the den and picked up the framed picture of Roland and his cabin. After returning to school, he got first prize in the summer project contest. Rob smiled at the grin on his son's face. He missed him. God, he missed him.

Regina and he agreed that he'd return to school in the city until they could figure out what to do. In the few weeks since Roland left, he worked. He was supposed to be following through on his promise to Regina, but he couldn't gather the courage.

He glanced down at the flash drive that sat on his desk taunting him. Swallowing, he looked away from it and pulled up his finance report. He returned to work and drove to the ranch every day. He found he loved spending his days working with his father. While he spent his nights in his home alone.

The house was growing on him. The space, the smells, the work. The land held promise. A future he didn't once see but now dreamed of. A future where Regina was by his side, Roland growing up with both parents for support. Another child maybe, if she was willing.

Shaking his head, he chided himself. It was useless to believe in dreams when he couldn't face whatever was on that drive. Just last night he'd argued with Regina over it. She begged him to watch it and allow her to stop thinking the worst.

Scrubbing his face with his hands, his shoulders were tight. "God, I'm going to regret this." He pulled the drive cover off and inserted it into his tower. The file came up and there was a single video file. He stood staring at the screen for along time. _Click it_ , his conscious told him.

Shoving from his chair, he escaped holding in the fear and unease. Downstairs, he made himself a cup of coffee and stood in the kitchen waiting while the pot brewed. The flowers on his porch were starting to turn colors, some slinking down in protection from the cold.

As he drank his coffee, his mind kept focusing on what he would see when he went back upstairs. Could he do that? Could he watch it? Busying himself, he put a load of laundry in, washed dishes, and spent time tidying Roland's room. He folded laundry, cooked and ate dinner, and avoided his curiosity.

Until he was faced with the day over, nothing to do, and a video file still taunting him on his computer screen. Sitting down on the chair, he took a deep breath and clicked. He was sucked into the video when he saw Regina sitting at a vanity with her laptop on her lap, Jaden sat on the edge of the bed.

_Regina typed the words Jaden spoke to a client. Word for word, she typed until she sent him the message for him to sign. "The Erin Dudley legal team is requesting a meeting, Jose wants to follow up on his deposition, and Laura Abbott asked you to call her back." Her neck moved back and forth to ease an ache._

_Jaden nodded, "Fine. Now put the laptop away."_

_Nervously, she did as she was told. Her laptop was put into her bag and zipped up. Checking her phone for e-mails, she didn't notice Jaden standing and walking toward her. When he took the phone from her hands, her hand snapped up, "Hey." Shooting to her feet, she reached out. "Give it back."_

_Jaden slid her phone into his pocket. "I said that was enough work."_

_Crossing her arms, she said, "I'm here for work."_

" _No," he took her hand, "You're not."_

" _Jaden…" He led her to the bed and sat next to her after nudging her down. "I have to get home soon."_

" _I thought you had Maggie you'd be late." He brushed her hair behind her shoulders and toyed with the diamond at her ear._

" _I don't want to take advantage," she said leaning away from his touch. "Stop that."_

" _Why?" He leaned in and pressed his lips under her ear. "I like touching you."_

" _I told you I didn't want to do this anymore," she whispered desperately._

" _I know," he sat back. "I have a surprise for you."_

_Frowning, she looked down as he circled her wrist with his hand. "What?"_

" _Stand up," he instructed. Taking a piece of black cloth from his pocket, he instructed her to turn around. When it was secured over her eyes, he kissed her forehead. "I won't be told what to do, Regina. Not by a woman. Not by anyone," his voice turned hard._

_Regina shivered as she was led blindly. The back of her knees hit the bed and her back hit the soft blankets when he pushed her forward. "Jaden." She tried to sit up, but his hands were there holding her shoulders down. "Let me go."_

" _Relax," he said taking her hand. She felt something hard and cold enclose her wrist to the point of biting into her skin. Pulling her arm, an ache shot through her arm. She whimpered when she felt her other wrist lock into place. "There now. Don't you look lovely."_

" _Jaden stop this. Please," she begged almost in tears. She felt his hands molding her torso, her hips, down her legs, until she removed her heels one foot at a time. "I'm not in the mood," she said trying to get out of this._

" _You're always in the mood," he said mildly. "At least you were until you asked for us to stop. Tell me," he said unzipping her skirt, "Were you serious?" Her skirt slid down her hips and off. His fingers unbuttoned her blouse and she felt the chill of the ceiling fan._

" _Yes, this isn't right."_

_His fingers hooked into her tights and dragged them down swiftly, "If that's what you want," he deceptively quiet._

" _No," she said as he gripped the last of the fabric and ripped it from her body. Then her ankles were locked in and she was completely trapped._

" _Shh, I'll be right back." He kissed her but she moved her face aside to avoid it and his lips brushed her chin. "Wench."_

_Regina wasn't sure how long she lay there revealed and humiliated before she heard footsteps and voices. Then Jaden said, "Here she is. She's all yours."_

_Panic shot through her when she heard a familiar voice, "Fuck, Jay. She's hotter in person." The same man she worked with daily was objectifying her. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Then she felt the cloth being pulled from her eyes and her eyes adjusted to the lights. A camera sat in the corner of the room with a red light on._

_Jaden was sitting on the bed above her head, "Ready, beautiful? If you don't want me, maybe you'll want him."_

_Jerry unbuckled his belt and unzipped, she almost choked on a sob. "Don't do this, Jaden. Please."_

_He leaned over and took her mouth effectively silencing her. "I'm gonna make a lot of money off you. Do as you're told. Go ahead, Jerry. She's yours." Jaden reached across her and ran his fingers along her sex. Regina thrust her hips up to buck and getaway, but Jaden's hands roughly held her down and whispered, "It could be a lot worse for you."_

_Closing her eyes, tears slid down her cheek when Jerry stepped forward and filled her. She pretended she wasn't in the room. Her eyes were black and dead, she wasn't here. She wasn't in the room. Images of deep water, blue and white lights slicing through the water. When Jerry stepped away, she stayed in place._

_Jaden unlocked her and still, she didn't move. Her body was cold, her mind blank, and her ears barely registered when Jaden told her his wife would be home any minute. The camera was removed, the men walked out of the room, and she curled into a ball and wept._

Rob stared at the screen long after the screen went blank. Tears were in his eyes, anger in his heart, and pain surrounded him. His stomach hitched and he shot into the bathroom in time to empty his stomach. Then, he was up, and his fists were slamming into the door over and over until there was nothing but broken wood and shards.

He didn't care that he had deep splinters in his hand or that blood ran and dropped on the floor. The anger he felt was taken out until the door hung on the hinges in tatters. He raged and he sobbed for the woman he loved.

Then the self-disgust came and swallowed him.

…

Regina sat in her car in the pick-up line waiting for the school bell to ring. Cars lined the lot while kids filed outside in lines. Roland opened the door and smiled, "Hi, mom. When do we get to go see dad?" He buckled his seat and waited as they slowly made it onto the street.

"Soon, buddy. I haven't talked to him yet," she said pulling into the flow of traffic.

"You said we could go when I got out on break," he complained.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, she said, "I didn't mean the second you get out of school. You have all week, Ro."

"Fine. Can I call him when we get to Maggie's?"

"Yes, you can."

They stopped to get hot cocoa, picked up supplies for Halloween, and a new set of skeleton pajamas. When they pulled up in front of the house, Regina frowned. Rob's truck sat on the curb.

"Dad's here!" Roland opened the door before she could put the car in park and ran inside.

To scold him, she followed him inside, "Roland Jacob Mills!" Her voice rang through the house. Rob sat in the kitchen with Maggie. Their heads came up as Roland turned around with his cheeks turning pink. "What were you thinking jumping out of a moving car?"

Rob frowned and looked down as Roland's face moved up, "I'm sorry. I just…"

"I know you were excited to see your dad here. That doesn't give you the excuse to be unsafe. Go to your room," she demanded.

"But mom!" He looked to his dad and back to her.

"Go, now!" She pointed. He stomped off and she turned to Maggie and Rob who stood stunned. "Sorry," she said embarrassed and walked back outside to get the bags.

Maggie came out a minute later with Rob at her back. "Need some help?" Her eyes were full of interest.

"Sure," she said with her hands full of bags. "We picked up stuff for the carnival."

Maggie took bags and said, "I can see that."

Passing Rob, she thanked him for the help, and they all settled in with bags on the floor of the kitchen. Regina took her coat off and began to empty bags.

"I've never seen you raise your voice before," Rob said watching her. The look on his face puzzled her.

"I rarely do but he had to know I was serious. I hadn't even stopped, and he was out the door. Truth be told, my heart jumped in my throat." Pressing a hand to her belly, she felt it still jumping. "I hate yelling at him."

Maggie told her, "David is picking up dinner. I asked Rob to stay."

"Okay," she nodded pulling out candy, plastic spiders, eyeballs, fake blood, and Roland's vampire costume. Smiling, she displayed it, "Looks like it's all teeth and blood this year." Setting it aside, she pulled more decorations out and moved to put them in the hall closet.

"Great. I'll make David be Dracula, I'll be his victim," she laughed.

Rolling her eyes, Regina chuckled, "I can just see that, he'll get a kick out of it."

"What do you say, Rob? Ready to be a vampire? Maybe you can be one of the old ones? You know all regal." She grinned.

"I don't know…" He took the empty bags and balled them up. "I'm a little unprepared for this."

Regina shrugged, "It's your first Halloween. It's easy to make him happy." Her hands were busy pulling out milk, sugar, and setting them on the kitchen island.

"What are you dressing up as?" He asked her, sliding his hands in his pockets. He seemed off but she was too busy putting a pot of coffee on. Turning, she glanced down at his hands. They were bandaged but she could tell he was trying to hide it.

"I'm thinking of dressing as Morticia," she said pulling down cups. "I have a dress sitting in my closet that will work."

Maggie nodded, "Yes. I have black lipstick and I have a long wig you could borrow. I can totally see it."

"Great, that's settled. So, Rob…" She turned toward him. "What brings you here? You didn't call," she pointed out. The pot brewed and she washed her hands in the sink. Slipping off her heels, she set them in the hall and walked back to where he stood awkwardly.

"I um…" He cleared his throat. For the first time since coming home, she looked at him. His eyes were different, his body was different. He avoided her eyes and shifted on his feet. "I wanted to talk," he said with a thick tone.

Her back went up. "You watched it," she whispered. Taking a step back, then another, her stomach twisted. Before she could turn and walk away, Maggie came up behind her and took her shoulders.

"I'll leave you two to talk," she said nudging her forward. Striding out of the room, she left them alone.

They stood in silence for a good two minutes before the coffee pot peeped signaling it was finished brewing. Feeling foolish, she jumped at the sound. Her heart was pounding in her throat as she looked into his eyes. There was a storm of emotions locked inside them.

His green eyes were greyer, his jaw was clenched, and his shoulders were tight. He stood rigidly with his feet planted apart, his hands in his pockets, and eyes direct on hers. She swallowed and felt her breathing sputter out. Feeling the mood to move, she stepped to the pot and poured two cups.

Putting them on the island, she doctored his with the milk he took and the sugar she did. Then, she took a sip to ease her tight throat. One of them had to talk but she wasn't sure she could be the one. Closing her eyes, she set the mug down. Hadn't she begged him to watch it? Now she wished he hadn't.

She felt him behind her and nearly jumped out of her skin when his hand brushed her shoulder. She only felt his fingertips before he withdrew his hand. "I…" His voice cracked. She could feel the pain and the emotion in his voice. "Regina."

Taking a deep breath, she didn't turn. In a quiet voice, she said, "Every time was like the first. I didn't…" She shivered. Gripping the counter tightly, she tried to rein in the tears that clogged her throat. "I know what you thought."

"I hate myself for even thinking what I did," he said gruffly. "I had something entirely different in my mind."

"I know." Her shoulders slumped. "That's why I wanted you to watch the video."

"I didn't want to, Regina. I wish I hadn't," he whispered. This time when his hands came on her shoulders, she didn't jump. Though, she tensed, his hands felt warm. Secure.

"If I didn't think it was necessary, I'd never have given it to you. I can't imagine what you think." Mortification slammed into her and surrounded her. Her body shook with fear as he turned her. When she looked up, her vision was blurry. Tears stained her cheeks without her knowing they'd fallen.

He reached up and framed her face with his hands, his thumbs brushed away the tears. "Please don't cry." Despite his requests, her body shook with the need to burst. He took her into his arms and said, "Let it go, baby." As he held her tightly, she wept.

When she'd calmed, she heard him sniffling and felt his body shudder against hers. He held her so close, she could feel his heart tripping against her chest. "I'm sorry," he said rasping.

"For what?" Her voice was muffled. His shirt was wet with her tears.

"For what you went through, or how I treated you that night after you told me about Roland." His breath caught. "Oh, god. I was rough on you. I hate myself for it."

"No," she pulled back enough to look up at his face. Their cheeks were wet, faces shared the same redness. "That night was the first time in years I felt something during sex."

"I punished you because I was angry and hurt. Now, I feel sick about it. After seeing…"

Her fingers stopped him. "You promised to burn them with me. I think we need to do that. Together. Burn the past," she said.

"You can't just throw all that pain away," he urged. His hands rested around her and pulled her closer. "But I want a chance to help you try."

"Robin…"

"I love you," he said and pressed his lips to hers softly. So soft, it felt like butterfly wings. "Let me be your future."

"I don't know…" Laying her head on his chest, she sighed. "I need some time to think about it. I'm scared."

Drawing her up so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders, he kissed her. Slowly and gently. "We have a lot to process and talk about. But I want a chance, Regina. I've missed out on all these years. I'm not giving up so easily. If you don't love me, tell me now."

He kissed her again. Her lips, her cheek, her nose, her forehead was dusted with his lips. "I can't." He wrapped her close and she allowed herself to be enveloped in his arms.


	17. 17

The cool fall air of the night drifted down Rob's neck and brought a chill to his skin. With his arms full of dry branches and wood, he filled two barrels. The work was good for him to get his anger out. The slamming of his ax on wood calmed him. The stomp of his foot breaking branches allowed him to expel his emotions.

The barrels slowly filled as he filled them. In the morning, the time would come to light them. In the last week since he faced Regina, he'd been on edge. He'd watched the video and—more than once—had wakened in the middle of the night with those images.

His own guilt and regret hounded him and disrupted his nights. Her words in his head echoed in the silence. _"That night was the first time in years I felt something during sex."_ He'd been too afraid to focus on that. How could she feel anything when he'd given her little choice? He'd led her into bed, and he'd taken.

Clenching his jaw, he shoved his freezing hands in his coat. Forcing himself to clear his mind, he walked back to the house. He wasn't ready to dissect his feelings on the matter. He'd put his heart on the line, again. That had been his M.O. Putting his heart on the line for her was becoming mundane.

When was he going to learn? He'd have to pick a different tactic if he meant to have her.

He respected her enough to give her time. There wasn't a thing he knew about overcoming that kind of trauma. He was scared to touch her the night in Maggie's kitchen. To feel her tense under his hands had been a new experience.

Inside the house, he shook out of his coat and went to warm himself by the fire in the hearth. Rubbing his palms together, he let the fire take away the cold. When he felt warm, he stepped out his boots and locked up for the night. He missed the nights when he took Roland to bed.

He missed him when he wasn't here. He missed reading to him. He missed watching his eyes—that matched Regina's—close as he drifted into sleep. During his fall break, he had four days with him. Roland cared for Parker, the cat that was growing.

They'd worked with boulder together. They worked together, played together, and he helped Roland carve a pumpkin. The pumpkin still sat in the window with Spiderman's face lit up from the candle inside. Before he went to bed, each night since he went home, he talked to him on the phone. Only tonight they hadn't called.

In the den, he forced himself to work. He didn't want to think about this awkward schedule. Could he live his life like this? Living half a life with his son and wondering what he was doing with the rest of his time? He yearned to have him sit on his lap and hear him chatter about his day.

His heart longed for him now feeling the isolation of his house. It seemed emptier on days he was away. The yearning for Regina was something stronger, fiercer. Closing his eyes, Rob brought the image of her into his mind. Her eyes, her smile. No, he mused. He wouldn't be able to live his life without her. Without their son.

As he pulled up a file, he made a promise to himself. He wouldn't give up this time. He wouldn't live half a life. Focusing on work, he tried to keep her out of his mind. She'd be there in the morning and he'd deal with what was between them.

…

Frustrated by their late departure, Regina drove in silence. Roland pouted in the backseat. They fought all morning and she'd had enough. He wanted to go to Rob's, and she told him he couldn't. Dropping him off at school, she waited for him to get out. "Have a good day."

"I won't." He opened the door.

"Roland." His eyes met hers. "I love you."

Setting his jaw, in a gesture like her own, he nodded and closed the door. She watched him walk into the building and pulled out onto the road. She hated letting him down. Seeing how upset he was about not seeing Rob made her ache.

This wasn't a situation that she wanted her son to be a part of. Her trunk was full of the journals and flash drives. She was ready to burn them. To burn the past and figure out how to move forward. Her feelings were just out of reach. She wasn't sure which one to cling to at any moment.

As she pulled up into Rob's drive forty minutes later, the emotion she clung to was a disappointment. She'd disappointed her son and hated it. Turning off the engine, she stepped out and knocked on the door. After waiting a few minutes, she knocked again.

Annoyance played at her when he still didn't answer. Glancing down at her heels, she rolled her eyes. Walking around the ranch would be a challenge. Walking around the back, she saw the kitchen door was open. Stepping inside she called out for him.

Hearing water running upstairs, she decided to make coffee. Set to her task, she pulled out the beans and ran them through the grinder. When she set up the pot to brew, she opened the fridge to see he was out of milk. Frowning, she observed he was out of more than just milk. In the cupboards, she found a powder that was almost past the expiration date.

It would have to do, she decided. When she poured her cup, she heard steps on the stairs. As he rounded the corner, he jolted. "Shit." He staggered back a few steps. "You scared the shit out of me." His face was pale then flooded with temper.

"I'm sorry. I knocked but you didn't answer. I walked around the back." He seemed to have settled. "Coffee?" Pouring the second cup, she set it on the counter. "You don't have milk."

"I know," he said taking the cup. "This'll do." He poured in the powder and used a spoon to mix it in. By his grimace, she knew it didn't taste the same.

"You're out of more than milk," she commented.

Irritation in his eyes, he leaned against the counter. "I haven't had time to shop." He watched her while her stomach tightened. His hair was getting long, his face had a few days of stubble, and his frown told her he was having a bad morning. "Roland eats a lot."

His face looked tense. Her fingers trailed along the line at his brow. "Long morning?"

His shoulder shifted. "Not especially." He made no move to touch her, so she eased away.

Regina finished her coffee and set it in the sink. "Roland is angry with me."

"Why?" He set his cup aside.

"He wanted to come, and I made him go to school. I'm the worst mom ever," she imitated him.

Rob's lips twitched. "How horrible of you to make him go to school," he said dryly. "Whatever do we do?"

Crossing her arms, she smirked. "You're as sarcastic as he is."

"It's in the blood," he teased. His lips curved a little. "Come on, I'll help you get the stuff out of the trunk."

"Okay." She followed him outside and took one of the boxes. They carried them to the two barrels in the backyard. They were full of dried leaves and branches. "I thought I'd feel differently."

They worked to set the drives and journals on top of the wood. "How do you feel?"

"I'm not sure," she said fidgeting with the skirt of her dress. "On one hand, I never want anyone to see these." She threw the last two in the flames as they kicked to life. Dancing along the wood, paper, and leaves, the orange and yellow swirled with the red. The fire ate the paper in moments.

"The other?" He slid his hands in his pockets and stepped beside her.

"I thought it would feel like closure. It doesn't." She hugged herself as she watched the flames. "How does it feel to burn your journals?"

She glanced at him. He stared at the flames and turned to her. "It feels right. That chapter is over." He reached down and took her hand. "You know what was trapped inside of me. That's enough."

Her fingers linked with his and held. "We have to talk about this sometime, Rob. You've been avoiding it."

"I haven't avoided it," he grumbled. "It's not easy to discuss."

"I know," she squeezed his hand. Letting go, she turned. "You have a habit of telling me how you feel about me, but you won't even talk about the most intimate parts."

His eyes lit with fire. "Don't push me, Regina." Closing his eyes, he shook his head. "I can't stop thinking about it. I wake seeing it. Hearing you cry. Seeing fear and panic in your eyes. What do you think that does to me?" His jaw ticked. "I didn't want to watch the god damn video. Now, they're in the fire where they belong."

"Rob…"

He took a step back. "Let me finish." She crossed her arms and waited. "As painful as it was to see it, I'm thankful that I did." His fingers raked through his hair. "You should be angry with the way I treated you when we got into bed."

"Robin." Her voice was stern. The look of searing anger kept her silent.

"I said, let me finish." He paced in the dirt as the flames continued to roar in the barrels. The flicker of branches breaking echoed in the air. "I put you in that bed and I put my hands on you. I marked your skin and I hurt you." There was grief in his eyes. "Then, I tossed you aside because I was pissed. How could you forgive me for that?"

Her back stiffened. Yes, he had wrapped his hands around her throat and scared her. It scared her at the time. Later, she realized that it had been an act of anger, of pain. When he'd maneuvered her into bed, she hadn't thought about it. He'd led her along and she'd felt pleasure. More than she could remember in all the years she was forced to lie with men.

Seeing him now, grief-stricken, it hurt. "You scared me that night when you grabbed me." His eyes flashed. "But I understood the pain I'd caused. I trusted you, Rob. You'd never really hurt me. I knew that."

"I did hurt you," he pointed out. "I didn't give a damn. Now, I hate myself for it."

Looking out at the leaves changing colors, the sky a dusty orange, she calmed herself. "I can't tell you how to feel about it. But I don't hold it against you."

He raised his voice. "I punished you. I meant to. God, I'm just like him."

Having heard enough, she stepped to him and took his face in her hands. "No, you're not. Don't say that."

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He reached up and with shaking hands took hers.

"You didn't know," she whispered. "It's over. I can rest easy knowing it is over and I won't ever have to worry about it again."

He rested his brow to hers. "How can you forgive me for that? I can't forgive myself. Not after everything."

She pushed him back to look in her eyes. "I forgave you a few days later," she said honestly. "It took me that long to process." Her arms snaked around his neck. "I knew I hurt you. I'm sorry, Robin." She touched her lips to his. "You're an amazing father."

His hands hung at his sides unwilling to touch her and it was frustrating. "I'm trying." Reaching down, she pulled his arms around her and he finally held her to him. "Wait." He tried to release her, but she fixed him with a look.

"I won't break."

"I know, I just…" He paused. "I'm terrified of touching you," he confessed.

"Don't be. I'm still me. Don't treat me like glass." Her eyes burned.

"You're precious, like glass," he said when she tightened her arms around him. His thumb brushed over her lips. His eyes filled. "I'll never hurt you again. I swear it."

"I trust you," she whispered against his mouth. "Take me to bed."

He jolted and stepped back abruptly. "What?"

"You heard me." She took a step forward and he retreated. "I want you to touch me. To show me that sex isn't always dirty." She touched her lips to his when he stood rigidly. "Make love to me."

"No." He shook his head. "I can't," he whispered. "I can't touch you now when I have this inside of me." Gingerly, he took her shoulders. "I love you, Regina." He brushed his lips over hers. "It's not the time."

Not taking no for an answer, she wound her arms around him. Her lips pressed to his neck and felt him shudder. "It's time." Her hands slid beneath his shirt and up his back. Scared and unsure, she closed her mouth over his neck where his pulse beat erratically.

"Regina," he groaned. He tried but failed to push her away. Her lips worked over his skin. "Wait," he said weakly as her hands reached for his belt. Her fingers didn't hesitate as she released the buckle and unbuttoned his jeans.

"Touch me. It's okay." She guided his hands to her breasts and felt her nipples go taut under her dress. He was more than apprehensive; she could feel it. Slowly, she began to take steps forward and guided him back toward the house.

Her mouth toyed with his and saw his eyes cloud with arousal. "This isn't a good idea," he said between kisses. His green eyes were deep as the sea and full of storms. When they reached the steps, he stopped. Her smell was intoxicating.

Regina smiled. "Take me." She went up the steps and pulled him with her. "Don't make me beg." Her eyes turned misty as he followed her into the house. She pushed the door closed to ward off the cold. Her mouth secured over his and they sank.

They took slow steps toward the couch and stopped in front of it. "Are you sure?" His hands were now holding her securely to his chest. She could feel his arousal against her.

"Yes, I'm sure." She felt nerves dance in her belly.

"Tell me why," he urged. His eyes never left hers. "Why do you want this?"

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she took the leap. "Because I love you," she whispered. "Damn it, I love you. I always have." Shoving at him, she sighed. "When you walked into the kitchen and I saw you for the first time in years…"

"You felt it too," he said in awe. Pressing his lips to her chest, he said, "Your heart belongs to me."

Nodding through the tears, she kissed his chest as he did. "And yours belongs to me."

Rob's face broke out in a grin and he slid into a warm, deep, heart-knocking kiss. Slowly, his mouth moved on hers. Regina felt drunk after a few minutes. The haze of the love they shared surrounded them like a fog. His lips trailed down her throat lazily.

Her pulse tripped as his tongue slid along her skin and left fires in its wake. He took his time nibbling along her jaw as he buried his hands in her hair. His hands molded, glided, and shaped to her body. Carefully, he wrapped her close. "I won't hurt you," he whispered in her ear.

His lips pressed under her ear and lingered. His fingers clasped at the zipper of her dress and slowly pulled it down her back. His fingers brushed her skin along the way and Regina shivered. He peeled her sleeve from her shoulder and closed his mouth softly over her shoulder.

With the same slow and lazy way, his mouth explored her other shoulder. As the dress fell to her feet, his eyes assessed her. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He brushed the tears from her face and kissed her cheeks where they fell. "Don't cry."

"I can't help it," she said. Her hands reached under the fabric and worked his shirt over his head. Her hands felt the muscles at his chest, down his torso, and felt the muscles bunch when she reached for his zipper. The sound shot a hot burst of arousal through her.

He removed her bra slowly down her arms and let his mouth follow the movement. Then, his mouth covered over taut flesh and she gasped. The feel of his wet tongue gliding over her caused tingles in her core. Her hands worked his jeans down his hips as he toed off his boots.

Clumsily, they tumbled onto the couch. "You'd think I'd have more finesse," he laughed. The lightness in his eyes made her happy. He was losing his fear.

"I don't remember asking for any." She tugged until his legs were free. Her heart pounded in her ears as she brought him to her and claimed his mouth. The heat of their bodies swarmed her. Filled her with greed. When she wanted his hands to go fast, he slowed.

When she wanted him to take, he lingered and teased. It was maddening. Then, her hands pushed the remaining fabric from her hips and wanted desperately. Rob's mouth clamped over hers and devoured. She felt his heart thudding in the same rhythm as her own. She opened to welcome him, but still, he waited. "Now," she said desperately. "God, now."

He had little choice when her hand closed around him. He jerked and groaned as her hand worked him. He throbbed in her hand and felt hot to the touch. Reaching between them, he found her. Slowly, he toyed with her as his mouth toyed with hers. It was torture, but she'd longed to feel pleasure and clung to it until she teetered over the edge.

Shuddering, she guided him to her and locked eyes with him as he slipped into her. They both groaned in unison. Robin framed her face in his hands. "Are you okay?" He held perfectly still.

Wrapping her legs around him, she rolled her hips. Closing her eyes at the pleasure, she nodded. "Perfect."

"I love you," he said kissing her chin. His lips brushed her nose, her cheek, and forehead.

Regina's arms wound around him and brought his chest down to hers. "I love you, too." Taking his mouth in a sweet, soft kiss, she smiled. "Now, show me how much."

His mouth closed over the nape of her neck and he showed her.


	18. 18

When something shifts from what you've depended on, to something much more desirable, there's an adjustment period. As the days passed, the weather edged from fall to the biting entrance of winter. Snow was on the horizon and that meant working extra hours with the horses. More preparation for the cold months.

The barns were insolated, heaters installed, and feed stored. Rob spent his time between Ross ranch and his property. It meant more spitting his focus on his father's ranch and his property. As the fall loomed, he scheduled less trail rides. While Roland was in school, he missed having him around.

Weekends with his son wasn't enough for him. He'd have to talk to Regina about that. He hoped she'd understand his point of view.

A smirk played on his lips as he thought of the night, they spent together the weekend before. Somehow, she'd ended up spending the night with him. He'd sent her off the next morning with stars in her eyes. It had been terrifying to think of touching her when they started. To think of adding any more hurt in her life put a knot in him.

Even in his fear, she'd been the one to guide them. He'd lost his tongue and the function of his brain. In the haze of arousal, he'd forgotten himself. By the time he'd managed to get his wits about him, they'd tumbled to the couch. Then, it had been all arousal, hands, and lips.

Unlike the time he'd taken her to bed in haste, this time had been long and slow. As he worked, he tried not to think of her scent or the feel of her skin. He hefted a shovel of manure into the wheel barrel and shook off the images. He didn't need to be thinking of her when he had a lot to do.

When he dumped the first barrel in the pile and headed back to the barn to fill it again, his phone chimed. A smile tugged at his mouth. He knew who it was already. As he set the barrel down, Tucker came around the corner and stopped to stare. "Alright. Spill."

Rob's head came up. "What?" He slid his phone back in his pocket.

"Dude. You've got this moony look on your face and you've walked around here on a cloud. It's sickening," he frowned.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Embarrassed, he shoveled.

Tuck rested his elbow on the door and crossed his booted ankles. "You've got it bad." The grin on his face lightened his usual focused expression. "I owe Jack fifty bucks."

Straightening, Rob turned to him. "Why?"

"We made a bet the day Regina came to the ranch. Jack bet you'd manage to get her in your corner. I bet you wouldn't." His shoulder lifted. "I didn't realize you were that long gone."

Irritated, he scowled. "It's none of your business." Turning he continued to work.

Laughing, Tuck shoved his shoulder. "Ease up. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Feeling his ears heat, he continued to work as Tuck sauntered off. Was he happy? Yes, but he still needed to talk to Regina about what she planned on doing. What they planned on doing, he amended. She'd told him she loved him.

He wasn't sure how long he'd wanted to hear those words. When he heard them, his brain had been in a fog. He was going to make her say them again, he decided. From all the text messages they exchanged, it was hard to tell where they stood. He'd sent her flowers every day this week.

Each day he'd chosen the ones she'd talked about most when they were kids. Each day they were more intricate, more beautiful, and more unique. He'd started with sunflowers that reminded him of how bright her smile was. He moved on to peonies because the florist had told him they were good luck. They'd also symbolized prosperity and bashfulness, which encompassed her at times.

He'd gone with Matthiola Incana next. The pretty purple budded flowers smelt of cinnamon and cloves. They symbolized a beauty that never fades. He smiled to remember he'd written just that on the card.

Next, he'd sent Red Chrysanthemums because they symbolized love and passion. The blazing red matched his passion for her, and he'd recalled the passion she'd had for him. It had been a fire, and he'd been only happy to burn in it.

This morning—being Friday—he'd sent Alstroemeria lilies. With a mixture of pinks, purples, and yellows, the cheery flowers were long-lasting. He'd written of a promise for their relationship to bloom, grow, and last against the heaviest storms. He knew it was corny and that he was laying it on thick, but he didn't give a damn.

He knew what he wanted. He wanted Regina as he'd always had. They talked of the Halloween party, dressing up, and Roland's endless chatter. He had every intention of making it the best holiday he could.

As he emptied the second barrel, he went to his truck. He drove around to the front of the house and walked inside to find Jack. Inside, he found his mother sitting by the fire. The house smelled like blueberries and tulips he couldn't resist getting for her. "Hi, ma."

"Robby. Sit down. You've been working too hard," she smiled. He sat and took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed her delicate skin.

"I love you," he said feeling sentimental. "I'm working as much as I always do."

"Oh, I love you too. Tell me, what are you planning for Halloween? You'll bring Roland to see us, right? We have a surprise for him." The spark in her eye told him it would be good.

"What surprise?"

"Well, it's for you and Regina too. So, I don't want to spoil it." She patted his hand.

Curious, he scanned her face. "Fine. Where's dad?"

"He's taking a nap. He's slowing down, Robby. He doesn't want to admit it, but I've seen it. He's tired."

Concerned, he straightened his spine. "Dad's healthy as an ox."

"Oh, he is. But slowing down is a part of life." Her lips curved. "It'll take him time to admit it."

Rob had to laugh. His mother had the easy words to put her father down. "If anyone can calm him, it's you." He paused and watched her knitting. "Mom, do you still have Grandma Bee's ring?"

Turning, he watched her eyes widen and her mouth gape open. "Robby, are you going to ask her to marry you?"

Scratching his chin, he hid his smile. "I'm thinking of making a promise to her. Not necessarily asking her to marry me. I don't wanna repeat the same mistake and scare her off."

Her eyes misted. "Oh, that makes me so happy. She's already a daughter to me and you know we wouldn't mind more grandbabies. I have my veil and I've always seen it around her pretty hair."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he advised. "We're not there yet."

"Oh, you will be." She pinched his cheek. "I'll get it out of the safe." As she disappeared into the other room, Jack walked into the room.

"You ready?"

Rob nodded. "I'll be right out."

Jack walked out of the house as Betty came back with the ring box in her hand. She handed it to him and kissed his cheek. "Robby. I hope that when you start your family, you'll be as happy as your dad and I have been."

"It'll be hard to beat. You were a good example." He kissed her cheek.

With tears in her eyes, she said, "Go on and get to work." She swatted his butt on his way out the door.

* * *

…

Regina arrived home after picking up Roland from school. The smell of the flowers Robin sent her all week surrounded her as she walked in the door. "Go wash up," she told her son.

Roland went off and she went into her bedroom to change. She put on a red dress, did her makeup carefully, and dotted perfume under her ears and inside her wrists. Doing her hair, she curled under. Her hair was beginning to get long.

Slipping her heels, she went to check on Roland. He was sitting on his bed with a frown on his face. "What's wrong, baby?" Sitting next to him, she saw tears in his eyes. "You were quiet in the car. Did something happen?"

He nodded and wiped his tears looking embarrassed. "Jordy and Brant were making fun of me."

Brushing his curls from his face, she asked, "For what?"

"They said that I didn't have a real dad because he doesn't live with us." He sniffed. "They said my dad didn't want me when I was a baby and came back because you made him."

Regina sat there quietly for a few minutes letting that sink in. Anger came into her eyes, but she banked it. "Do you believe that?"

"I don't know."

"Roland, it wasn't your dad's fault that he wasn't there for you when you were a baby. It was mine. I told you this. Your dad didn't know about you until a few months ago. Hasn't he been there for you since?" She watched him and felt guilty.

"Yea," he grumbled. "I wish I lived with him." His voice was quiet. "All the guys at school have their dads help them with homework and play with them."

"Baby," she took him into her arms. "I'm sorry that this has been hard. Your dad isn't far, and he does all those things."

"Yea, but I only get to see him on weekends. It's not fair."

"Your dad has to work, baby. He's a busy man," she said feeling inadequate. "I know it's hard, but we're doing the best we can." She didn't think she could win this conversation. It was getting harder to come up with excuses. "You get to see him today. Let's get you ready."

As he went into the bathroom, she took some time in her room to let the guilt pass. A few tears fell and she gathered herself before she ushered him into the car and drove out to Rob's property. The ride was quiet, and Roland stared out the window the entire time. Each time she tried to engage him in conversation, he brushed her off.

Having a child hurting broke her heart. As they pulled into the drive, she saw Rob was in the round pen with Dante. He lifted a hand in a wave. Turning, she said, "Come on."

When they got out of the car, Roland mumbled something about finding Parker and ran off to the barn. She frowned after him. "Something wrong?" He approached her and kissed her cheek.

"Roland is having a bad day," she sighed.

"Is he alright?" Rob ruffled his hair and she liked the way it looked mussed. He searched her eyes and was sure to have seen her worry.

"Some kids are making fun of your relationship with him." He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head, "It's my fault." Heading up for the door, he followed with a frown.

"What does that mean?" Inside, they went into the kitchen so Rob could wash his hands.

Sitting, Regina explained the situation. Then, expressed how she knew it was her fault. "Kids are honest, and it doesn't surprise me that they'd mention it. I'm just sorry he's hurting."

Rob started a pot of coffee and went to her. Taking her hand, he drew her to her feet. "He's a tough kid." Wrapping his hands around her waist, he kissed the tip of her nose. "I'll talk to him."

"He'll listen to you more than me. Rob…" Resting her brow to his, she said, "I didn't think how hurt he'd be. How keeping him a secret would affect both of you."

He wrapped her close and drew her into a hug. A deep warm hug that had her blood humming. "Let's not dwell on the past. I'll talk to him and see if I can make him a little more at ease. Kids are assholes." He continued to hold her. Then, his lips pressed lightly against her neck. "You smell good."

"Not as good as the flowers you sent me," she whispered feeling weak.

"You smell better." His hands molded to her hips. "You feel good too." He lifted his head and kissed her long, smooth, and slow. It felt like a drug, she mused. The more their mouths molded, the more muddled her mind became.

She didn't focus on anything but sensation. Their bodies pressed together brought tingles to her skin. His tongue sliding along hers tightened her core. When his teeth nipped her lower lip, she moaned. It was no more than a whisper, but she couldn't control it.

"I missed you," he said against her mouth. "This dress is driving me crazy." He pressed his hips forward so she could feel what she did to him. Arousal swift and sharp grabbed her by the throat. His hands explored the smooth skin of her thighs. "Let me touch you."

Through the fog, she tried to focus but it was useless. "Roland," she said breathily.

Rob's mouth locked over the pulse beating at her neck. She lost her breath for a moment before it expelled in a long exhale. "He's outside. We have some time. Not long, but after a week away from you, it won't take long." His teeth scraped along her skin and all rational thought vacated her mind.

Their mouths molded and they were moving. She felt the motion of moving somewhere, but she was too involved to realize or care where. Then, they were in the laundry room. He picked her up and set her on top of the dryer. He snuck his hands up her dress, slipped her panties down, and touched her.

"Is this okay?" He kissed her and waited for her affirmation. Nodding, she wrapped her arms around him as he slipped inside of her. He groaned and held her hips tightly with his hands. He wrapped her legs around him and rolled his hips. She gasped.

"I don't want to go slow," he said gruffly. Meeting her eyes, he tried to express what he wanted. "I won't hurt you, darlin'." He kissed her and rolled his hips slowly. For a few minutes, she enjoyed the slowness. Then, to please him, she adjusted and rocked her hips faster.

When he took over, she felt her breath clog in her throat. Pleasure shot through her like whiskey consuming her. He panted against her neck and pitoned his hips. She cried out as the orgasm sliced through her like waves crashing in the ocean. One wave after another sent her body shaking powerfully and heat burned her from the inside out. He held still and waited her out. He rolled his hips once, then twice.

His mouth coaxed hers with his until she became pliant and limp. When she had her wits about her, as if a man possessed, he fisted her hair in his hands and raced until his body erupted.

* * *

…

Rob's heart wasn't quite steady when he walked back into the kitchen from the bathroom. Regina stood at the counter—without those red spike heels that nearly destroyed him—pouring coffee. He stood behind her, brushed her hair aside, and kissed the back of her neck.

When she sighed and leaned into him, he smiled. "Coffee?"

"Later." He kissed her lips softly. "I'm gonna go out and talk to him."

Inside the barn, he found Roland sitting on a hay bale with Parker tugging on his shoelaces. The cat was trying his hardest to get the boys attention to no avail. The frown on his face concerned Rob.

"Hey, buddy."

Roland's face came up, "Hi, dad."

He sat beside the boy. "Your mom said you were having a bad day. Want to talk about it?"

Roland's shoulder lifted and fell lazily. "The guys at school said that you're not my real dad because you weren't there when I was a baby."

Rob's stomach clenched and his heart tightened with the pain of the reminder. "What do you think?"

"That I wish you had been there."

"Buddy, I didn't know. I wish I would've been there too. It hurts that I wasn't, and I'm still upset with your mom, but I love you. That doesn't make me less of your dad." He put his arms around his shoulders. "Does it?"

"I guess not. I just get mad because you don't get to help me with homework, or go play ball, or hang out with us when the other dads are there." He paused and picked up straw to tear apart. "I only get to see you on weekends and when I want to call you, mom says I'm bugging you."

"You're not bugging me, Roland. I work a lot during the day, but you know you can call me anytime. We'll try harder to make this work, okay?"

"I wish I could live with you. At least I have my own room. Mom's stuff is all over the place."

Rob laughed. "I can imagine it would be hard to share a room with your mom. There are gonna be a lot of changes because I want to spend time with you as much as I can. Alright?"

"Yea."

"You hungry? I think your mom is fixing something."

"I'm starved." Rob stood. "Dad?"

"Yea?"

"Do you think mom and you will get back together, and we'll all live together?" His son's eyes were so innocent.

"I love your mom, Roland. Very much, but I can't say what will happen. Let's just wait and see." He crouched at eye level. "I want to tell you something, but you have to keep it to yourself. Man, to man."

He nodded.

"I'd very much like to marry your mom and have you come live with me. But there are things going on right now that have to be put on hold. When the time is right, I'll talk to you like a man about it. Deal?"

"Deal." They shook hands and walked back to the house.


	19. 19

In the fall air, the streets were filled with families, children, laughter, and screams. Houses were decked out in skeletons, pumpkins, and spooky trapping. Each house was unique and rarely did you see a dark one. Ghosts, witches, goblins, and vampires roamed the streets. Princesses, superheroes, and cute fairies fluttered.

The neighborhood never looked better. Games, costume contests, prizes, and food. Oh, the food.

Roland trotted along happily with a bucket full of candy. He'd gotten his wish and they'd stayed out for three hours. Rob held Regina's hand while they watched their son enter haunted houses, fairy castles, and engage in games like dunking for apples.

Troy, a boy from Roland's school happily shared in the excitement. They were like thieves in the night. Each propelled the other forward to try haunted houses, scare little girls, and snuck candy in between houses. Rob grinned. This wasn't what he had in mind for Halloween, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

He imagined walking him down a few streets and spending the rest of the time handing out candy. This was better.

The pure joy on his son's face was better than anything. Having Regina's hand tucked in his felt right. In the weeks they planned this night, he rarely was apart from her. They went for walks in the city, he'd taken her to a fancy restaurant, and they'd spent time on his property.

There were stolen kisses, surprise dinners, flowers, and romance. He wooed her like she deserved to be wooed. When the mood struck, he'd cut out early from work and meet them at Maggie's. Roland and he decorated the house that was currently full of people.

Regina and Maggie agonized over decorations, food, candy, and she'd made a German chocolate cake he couldn't wait to taste. His parents were there now helping Maggie and David hand out candy. His dad—to his amusement—dressed like a clown and seemed to enjoy scaring the crap out of the kids.

He glanced over to see Regina looking happy. Relaxed. He released her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "This is fun."

"It is. Every year it seems to get bigger and better." She snuggled closer and pleased him. She simply fit against him. Just against him in a way that told him she belonged there from the beginning.

He pressed his lips to her temple. "I'm glad I get to be here this time." There was no malice in his comment, but he felt her tense. "I didn't mean that as a criticism."

"I know." She bit her lip and peeked at him under her lashes.

Roland and Troy screamed when a zombie popped out from under a coffin lid and ran away giggling. "Don't." He squeezed her shoulder. A habit he formed to reassure and keep her from talking down to herself. "I'm having a blast. I can't wait to taste that cake."

Regina's lips curved the way he liked them. "I hope it meets your expectations. You know I'm not a great baker."

He laughed. "I'd still eat it if it tasted like cardboard."

The wind started to pick up as the rounded to the last block. "That's sweet of you."

They laughed, ate candy, and snuck kisses as the kids went down the street.

"I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind." He waited a beat before he spoke again. "I've been thinking about Roland and somethings that I'd like to change." He peered over at her confused expression.

"Like what?" She turned her head. He couldn't resist kissing her.

"Well, I guess let's start with his birth certificate. Is my name on it?" He'd wondered. Often felt compelled to ask.

"Yes."

His brow rose in surprise. "Interesting."

"Rob…"

"Don't. Now's not the time for apologies. You know they annoy me." Irritated, he led her across the street when the boys headed that way. When they stood in line to play a game, he turned her toward him and pulled her close. "Why didn't you give him my name?"

"I…" He cursed himself for putting that confused and guilty look on her face. He hated bringing up certain things because it always ended up in a fight.

"I'm just curious," he insisted when she looked panicked.

"It seemed easier at the time to give him mine. I didn't want to have a different last name because they said it would be complicated with the insurance. I guess I didn't even think about it. I was overwhelmed at the time."

"Well, I want you to think about it. I want him to have my name." He kissed her nose. He wanted her to have his name too, but one step at a time. If he mentioned that now, she'd rabbit out of here so fast, his head would spin.

"You want to change his last name?" Her smile told him her feelings on it.

"Yes, I do. He's my son." Pride filled him.

"Okay. We'll do it." A smile played on her lips.

"Just like that? No argument?" He couldn't say why it thrilled him so much.

"Robin." Her hands framed his face and kissed him. "He should have his father's name and I know how important that is to you. I remember when you used to talk about family and how leaving a legacy was your dream."

"Good." Overwhelmed with emotion, he hugged her tightly. "I love you, darlin'."

…

The party was in full swing, the music swelled, food was served, and the place was loud. Regina couldn't hear her own thoughts as the repetitive sound of the beat thudded around her. Jack was on scare duty. He succeeded in scaring away half the kids.

Betty handed out candy while David chased down the ones that ran away to make sure they didn't miss out. Everyone got candy, she mused. It was sweet. The kids were placated, given candy, and sent on their way to the next house.

Maggie was wrapped in a game with a group of kids. They were playing 3-D Jenga. The blocks were made of foam and just as she looked over, a kid toppled right into the tower and it went down. She laughed as Maggie fell back onto it.

Sitting next to Betty, Regina took a deep breath. "Well, I'm exhausted."

Betty's smile was quick and bright. "Me too, dear. It's great, isn't it? Working all day is good for the bones."

Her eyes locked on Rob and Roland huddled around a plastic pool playing a fishing game. "It couldn't be better."

"I have something for you," Betty said handing her an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Open it, dear." Her smile was full of mischief.

Regina opened the envelope and looked inside to see three tickets to Disney Land. They were booked for January. "Betty. Oh, you shouldn't have."

"Nonsense. You've all had a hard year and Roland's been talking Jack's ear off about wanting to go to Disney Land. You deserve a little break. I hope you have a good time."

Tears prickled her eyes. "You're the best mother anyone could have."

"Well, I'll be a mess in a minute." They embraced. "Go on and enjoy your time with that sweet boy and my handsome son."

Regina walked up to hear Rob explaining how to reel in the rod to get his fish. The rod was made of rope and a magnet hung at the bottom to stick to the wooden fish. With her amusement, Roland was eating it up like cream.

As he tossed out the line, she nudged Rob. "I need a word with you." Her smile coaxed him away from the crowd and out into the backyard. The stars were out twinkling in the black sky. The moon was almost full and threatened to hide behind the thick gray clouds.

They sat on Maggie's swing and huddled close from the cold. It was flanked by lavender and hydrangeas. "Betty had a surprise for us." Handing over the envelope, she watched his eyes widen and his mouth curve into a grin.

"Disney? Roland will freak out," he laughed. "Does he have time off in January?"

"A little. Enough for this to work." Regina tucked herself against his side and listened to laughter, screams, and music. "I got a call today from a law firm," she blurted out.

"Oh?" She felt him tense.

"It's in the city. Bennett and Charles are looking for lawyers. Carla recommended me for the job." She wished she was looking at him to see his reaction. But she sensed his shift in mood.

"Is this position the type of work you want to be doing?"

"Not really but, it's a foot in the door," she said. "If I can just manage to save enough, I'd like to eventually open my own practice."

"Really?" He shifted and looked at her face. "That's amazing. I didn't know you had thought about it."

"I've toyed with the idea since I started at the district attorney's office. It would be a dream realized if I had that kind of money. I'll work hard for it," she declared. "It'll take a few years, but if I'm frugal with money, I can do it in three. Maybe four."

He toyed with her hair. "I have no doubt you'll work hard for it. Will you stay with Maggie?"

"No. I've imposed long enough. I need to start thinking of planting roots. I want to look at houses." God, she needed her own space.

"To buy?" He frowned.

Averting her eyes, she saw his irritation. "Possibly."

"I didn't realize you wanted to stay in the city. You were making noise about moving closer. I figured with you being closer, we'd have more time together." His temper was being held, she mused. "I hoped Roland could change schools."

"Change schools? Why?" She hadn't considered he'd have to change schools. He had a great education and it was just far enough away from Maggie's she could walk.

"He hates it there. Don't you listen to anything he says?" Abruptly, he shoved to his feet. "Kids make fun of him, his teachers harp on him, and he's lonely, Regina. Troy is the only kids who took an interest and trust me, it took more than a little convincing his mother to get him here tonight."

He paced. "I thought we were making some moves in the right direction. Now, it seems you're wanting to go somewhere else."

Dumfounded, she stared at him. "We never discussed my living arrangements." Her temper was simmering now but she saw the hurt on his face. In his eyes.

"I didn't want to pressure you. You're like a damn tea kettle quick to whistle," he grumbled.

"That analogy is lost on me," she bit out.

"You spook easy," he explained. "You jump like a rabbit when I bring up the future. Our future. I get it, it's complicated. We've just gotten into this rhythm."

"What are you talking about?" Panic snaked into her stomach and fisted.

"Love isn't easy, Regina. We're seeing each other and your making plans without me. I don't understand it."

On her feet, she took two measured breaths. "This is my decision. I'm not following along with what other people want anymore. Even you." She jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "I won't be controlled anymore."

"I don't want to control you," he said with a dangerous tone. "You know better. I want to make a life with you. I'm sick of settling on time with my son. With you." Regina watched him quiver with anger. "I get him when it's convenient for everyone one else. I get weekends like some deadbeat."

"That's not true. You know that's not true." Baffled, she rolled her eyes.

"I want him to live with me." He stopped and stood firm.

Regina went very still. "Live with you?"

"Yes. A few weeks ago, we talked about it. He wants to live with me, have his own room, his cat, and a new school. I didn't give him an answer. I thought I'd run it by you first." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Seems to me, I should've."

"Wait." Shaking her head to clear the ache, she stepped forward. "Roland asked to live with you?"

"He's tired of sharing a room with his mom. Too many people are in the house when he wants to shower. No privacy. The list goes on. He rattles complainants on the phone all day long until my ears bleed. He wants more time with me."

"I didn't know he was so unhappy," she frowned.

"He's not unhappy, he's cramped. You're all cramped. You know I have the room." He stepped to her and took her shoulders. She felt dizzy. "I want you to move in too when you're ready. You know I want you."

"Move—I need to sit down." He caught her when she swayed. "How could I do that?"

"Do what? Live with the man you love?" His eyes were steel. "I want you, Regina. I have always wanted you. What do you want?"

"So many things," she admitted.

"Name some," he suggested nudging her to sit on the swing and pushing her head between her knees when she paled. "Take deep breaths."

Following his advice, she breathed until she was calm. Sitting up, she glanced over to see him watching her. "This is all too fast."

"I beg to differ. This is a snail crawl if I ever saw one. I've been in love with you for half my life. I've been courting you over the last few weeks, haven't I?"

Regina looked back and realized that was exactly what he'd been doing. Courting her. Taking her to dinner, long walks, silly shops. God, she'd enjoyed it and him. Family outings to the zoo, the museums, the pumpkin patch. It all blended into normalcy.

Nights were spent apart, and they'd sneak a few steamy moments when they could. They spent a lot of time with Jack and Betty. He'd finally introduced her to Yvonne. They rode horses. They were having a wonderfully intimate romance.

When she remained silent, he sat beside her. "Regina, I know you're dealing with a lot. I've watched you and I admire the hell out of you. It's not easy, I know. But I've been patient and understanding. I don't want to settle. I know what I want. I want you and our son to share a home." When she met his eyes, she teared up. "I want to be a family like we should've been."

Closing her eyes, she let a tear fall. His thumb caught it. "When I wear you down enough, I'll ask you to marry me." Her breath caught. "I'll convince you to walk down the aisle in my mother's veil. We'll settle in the house and you can change any damn thing you want. Then, we'll talk about putting a baby in that belly a little while after that."

"What?" Her eyes widened.

"I want more kids," he declared. "A few if we're lucky. A kid like Roland shouldn't be alone. You're still young enough for us to try." Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her sweetly. "I love you." He kissed her again. "If you take that job, it'll drive us apart. How long can we last with the crazy schedule we've been on?"

"I don't know." Her head was spinning. Marriage? More kids?

"Think about it. I've spent a decade apart from you and I won't sacrifice more time. Will you?"

…

Idiot. Moron. Half-brained.

Rob berated himself for days after Halloween. Regina's job announcement had hit him hard in the gut. He'd been plotting, he mused. Taking baby steps to nudge her in the direction he'd wanted her to go in. She was on another train in the opposite direction, he realized.

A full two weeks later and he was still reeling. Still waiting for her to come to her senses.

As he sat in his office looking over his schedule, he scowled when his phone rang. "Ross."

"Something wrong?" Jack's voice calmed him a bit.

"No. What's up?" Phone to his ear, he typed an e-mail to Tuck. He was feeling prickly.

"Delivery comes in this afternoon," he said. "I'll send it with Regina."

"No." He sighed. "She's not coming. I'll pick it up tomorrow afternoon." He'd stepped in it, he thought. She'd yet to call, to text. He hadn't even spoken to Roland, he thought bitterly.

"Alright. You want to talk about it?"

Rob paused before dismissing him. "Nope."

Jack knew when to take the hint. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Great." He hung up the phone and tried to focus on what he was doing. Only, he'd read the same damn lines of the e-mail over and over. Stalking to the window, he looked outside. The leaves were darker brown than orange.

The frost would be sneaking its way over the earth and the plants, trees, and flowers would hibernate. The horses were already anxious for the weather to turn. He watched Dante and Boulder—the new best friends—play in the field. Soon the field would be white and slick with snow.

Thanksgiving was right around the corner, he mused. His mother had already made noise about hosting. Maggie and David already agreed. He knew Regina would be here despite the silent treatment she placed on him. He'd called, he'd texted.

Nothing. Not a damn word.

There was hurt buried deep inside of him. He'd pined for her enough to recognize the break in his heart. It was a feeling that stayed with him long enough to realize it could be permanent. He hoped to hell he kept his patience because she had a rude awakening coming.

A rude awakening, he thought darkly. Shifting his attention to his work, he planned.


	20. 20

Regina stood in the middle of an empty living room while the realtor rattled off the amenities of the house. It was gorgeous, she mused. Big enough of a space to afford privacy. Tucked into a Cul-de-Sac outside of the city, the house stood at two stories. The yard was large enough for Roland to play and maybe get the dog he'd been begging for.

It was just close enough the drive wouldn't be terrible to get to her job, to Maggie's. It was quiet, safe, and her neighbors were far enough away she wouldn't worry about feeling cramped.

Walking into the kitchen, she smiled. The cabinets were white, the appliances stainless steel, the island dominated the room. Trailing her fingers along the granite, she could imagine cooking in the space. At the window, she looked out into the yard.

Her heart squeezed because she wanted to see the tidy cozy porch at Rob's home. Shaking her head, she tried to put it out of her mind. Rob was angry with her and she understood it. She didn't want to hurt him, but he didn't understand that she needed to stand on her own two feet. To pay for it on her own.

Because she failed to explain that to him, it was easier to avoid him. Though, after a couple of weeks, he'd shown up at Maggie's house. Panicked she thought he'd confront her. Instead, he'd thrown her off. He'd asked to take Roland out.

So, for the last week, that's what he did. He showed up to pick up Roland and when he dropped him off, he left without lingering. They spoke little and he stopped calling and texting. Her heart hurt. She missed him.

Moving into the master bedroom, she glanced around. The room was big enough to fit a king-size bed if she chose. The bathroom made her sigh. A shower stall with jets stood strong with a glass door. The jet tub called her name. The vanity had seashell fixtures.

Upstairs, she found a room for Roland, a library the previous owner had modeled, and two extra bedrooms. A bathroom with similar fixtures. Outside, the realtor showed her the pool. Roland would go nuts, she mused. A fenced-in yard was large enough with trees and an already had a jungle gym.

Along the side, a flowerbed was tended by the realtor. Regina would have to learn how to tend it if she planned on taking the house. The house was picture perfect, held everything she could want, and they'd be happy here. Only, guilt crawled into her heart.

"So, what do you think?"

Regina bit her lip. "I'll make my decision after the holidays."

"Great. We'll keep it on the market, and we have a few showings coming up in early January. So, you'll want to jump on it as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

Regina went to the market to do her usual shopping. While Roland was with Rob, she took advantage of the solitude. It took longer than usual. Her list was firmly in her purse. As she went through her list, she stopped to get her groceries, household paper products, and onto her bathroom and beauty needs.

In the grocery aisle, she found a large turkey and had to pick it up before it was snagged. She got the ingredients to her famous cherry and pumpkin pie. Her stuffing. The works. This year would be fuller than most with people all over the place. It made her happy.

Armed with a cart full of food to feed an army, she moved into the paper aisles. Calculating what she needed, she called Maggie. "Hey, Mags. How many people are we expecting for Thanksgiving?"

"Twenty or so. Where are you? How was the house?"

Picking pretty plates, napkins, and supplies, she wandered with her heart lifted. "I'm at the grocery store. Oh, Mags it's perfect. The house is like a picture. I can see Roland and me being in the house."

"Better than the last one?"

"Miles better. This is the one." She found napkins in cute leaves and added them to the basket. With the same pattern, she added plastic utensils, plates, bowls, and serving spoons.

"I can't wait to see it. Did you put in an offer?"

"No, not yet. After Christmas." She picked up a pumpkin bowl and grabbed a package of potpourri. "The realtor is waiting to show it until January. I'll have time to make up my mind."

"Have you talked to Rob yet?"

"No," she frowned. "He doesn't understand me."

"He loves you," she declared.

"I love him too, but he wants to tuck me into his house and take care of me. I don't want to be kept, Maggie. Doesn't get that I've felt that way for the last ten years?"

Maggie sighed. "Maybe you should explain it to him. He's hurting."

"I know." Her voice broke as she moved onto the makeup section. "I didn't mean to hurt him, but I seem to keep doing it."

"Put yourself in his shoes. He let you go when you were kids and he didn't come after you. He's doing the same thing now. I think in his mind if you love something let it go. If it's meant to be it'll come back. I've tried to talk to him about you, but you know what he says?"

"What?"

"It's up to you to make up your mind. You know what that tells me?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me." She picked up the foundation and new brushes.

"It tells me that he's hurt but he's still putting you first. I see it in his eyes. What are you going to do?"

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I'm going to think. I have that job offer, I have a house I love, and I feel stronger than I ever have. I have options."

"I meant what are you doing to do about Rob, but based on what you've listed, he doesn't even rank."

Closing her eyes, Regina stopped. "Mags, stop it. Of course, he ranks. He's a big part of why I didn't put an offer on the house today."

"Do you plan on living apart? Dating for a while? Where can this go if you buy that house? I don't mean to pressure you, love. But you've got to figure out the big picture. What about Roland? Do you figure he'll spend weekends with Rob? What about the holidays? It sounds to me, you'll put yourselves in a traditional visitation schedule."

Irritated, she picked out what she needed and moved on. Crossing things off her list, she moved on. "I know how it sounds. I'm not prepared for what he wants. He wants to marry me, have more babies, and he wants to live in the house as a big happy family as if there isn't a world of hurt inside of me. I can't give that to him yet."

Regina heard Maggie clattering around in the background. "Then, you should sit down and tell him that. You're dangling him on the end of a line, and he doesn't deserve it. If you want to break it off, do it already. If you want something more, you've got to fight for it. Because he's ready to give up."

"What do you mean give up?"

"Regina, you can't be that dense. He's checked out emotionally. I can't get through to him. David's tried. Hell, I talked to Jack too. He's going through the motions."

Swallowing, Regina's shoulders slumped. "I don't know what to do, but I don't want to talk about this in the middle of the grocery store. I need to…" She stopped dead. Glancing at her list, she looked up and froze.

"Regina?"

"What's today's date?" Her voice was so small it was a wonder Maggie even heard her.

"The eighteenth. Why?"

Her throat closed and tears flooded her eyes. "I'll be home soon," she whispered and hung up. Her body began to shake, and she set down the package of tampons. Her mind was reeling. She'd missed picking them up last month, and the month before. That familiar terrifying feeling she felt nine years before suddenly surrounded her.

Backing away from the shelf, she started to tremble. Next to the tampons, her eyes landed on the pregnancy tests and her breathing suddenly failed her. White dots could be seen around her eyes as she reached out and picked one up. "No."

Tears fell as she stared down at it. "No, I'm being paranoid," she decided. Putting it down, she picked up the tampons and added them to the cart. "It's ridiculous," she insisted wiping her eyes as she finished her shopping. If she felt a nagging feeling in her chest, it was only because she was anxious about the situation with Rob, she told herself.

But there was more than a nagging feeling when she got home and found Robin's truck in the driveway.

…

Rob saw her pull up. "Hey, buddy it's time I get going."

Roland pouted. "Can't you stay for dinner? Maggie invited you."

He wasn't about to put Regina in that position to have to be around him if she didn't want to. So, he said, "Not tonight. I love you." He hugged him tight and inhaled the smell of him.

"I love you too."

As Regina came inside with a handful of bags, he saw her open car full of more. "Need any help?"

"That would be great, actually. There's a twenty-pound turkey in there somewhere." She was pale and a little shell shocked. He watched her for a minute and saw her hands shake when she set the bags down.

He wanted to ask if she was alright, but it was in his best interest to ignore it. He grabbed bags and put them down on the floor. He went out again and grabbed the turkey. When he set it down, she was still standing there staring off into space. He touched her shoulder and she jerked. "You okay?"

"What?" When she turned, he saw her eyes. He took her chin and tilted her head back.

"Are you sick?" He frowned. She looked a little green.

Regina stepped back and seemingly snapped out of it. "No, I'm sorry." Turning, she started picking things out of bags. "Where's Maggie?"

"She took off. Roland is in the bedroom." He slid his hands in his pockets. "He finished his project and his math."

"Thank you." Her hands were still shaking, he noted. "Did he eat?"

Leaning against the counter, he relaxed. He wanted to make sure she was okay before he left. "I took him to get pizza."

As she emptied bags, he took some of the paper products and put them in the pantry. He opened the refrigerator and moved things out of the way to put the turkey inside. He added the rest. When he was done, he helped put away the rest of the stuff.

Regina was sitting at the table staring off again. "Hey." Again, he touched her shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She nodded. "Yea."

He hesitated then he poured her a glass of water and set it on the table. "Here. Drink." He sat next to her and grabbed the glass when she almost bobbled with because her hands were shaking so hard. "Regina, what's going on?" He kept his voice gentle.

They sat in silence for several minutes before she rested her head on the table. "I don't feel so good," she finally said.

He rubbed her back and brought his hand to her head. "No fever," he declared. "Come on." He scooted out and picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

Roland looked up from the new tablet Rob bought him. "What's wrong with mom?"

"She's feeling a little sick." He set her on the bed and slipped her shoes off. "Get under these." He tugged on the sheets and tucked her under. "Ro, go get that glass of water on the table in the kitchen." Her eyes closed and he saw a tear leak out. "Should I call Maggie?"

"No, I'll be fine," she whispered. Roland came in and gave Rob the glass. He handed it to her, and she drank deeply. "Thanks."

"Mom wants to see Roland tomorrow. Is that alright?" He hated that he had to ask permission.

"Of course, he can. You don't have to ask."

"Yes, I do. I don't want to step on your toes." He watched color seep into her cheeks. He touched her cheek unable to help himself. "You're not pale anymore. Feel better?"

"I'm okay. Just tired." Snuggling into her pillow, she looked over at Roland. "What time tomorrow?"

"How's ten?"

Nodding, she thanked him again. Before he could stand, she took his hand. He stared down. "We need to talk, Robin."

He swallowed. He wasn't going to like it. It was clear. He glanced at Roland who had his nose in a book. "Ro, why don't you go outside?"

"Okay." He stepped out with his book.

Rob toes off his boots and climbed into the bed with her. Back to the headboard, he crossed his ankles. He made sure not to touch her. "Go ahead."

She turned and sat up to face him. He saw her nerves. He steeled himself from whatever it was she was about to say. His heart was already tender. If she wanted to step back from him, he was certain he wouldn't survive. His face went blank and he intended it to stay that way no matter what.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," she began. "I feel like I haven't stood on my own two feet for a long time. Financially or emotionally." He knew where this was going. He kept his silence. "I told you about the job offer and I handled it poorly," she admitted.

"How?"

"I should've explained myself better. Rob, it's not that I don't want what you want to give me." She scooted closer and to his relief wrapped her arms around him. He touched his cheek to hers for a moment and simply inhaled her scent. "Any woman would be thrilled."

Leaning back, he said, "Just not you."

"Don't say it like that." Releasing him, she turned. His breathing started to become heavy. His head dizzy.

"What are you saying, Regina? If you're gonna end this, make it clear. Very clear," he said. "This isn't our first rodeo."

"Rob…" She sighed.

Feeling the break, he edged off the bed. Waited a minute. "Say the words."

"What?"

He closed his eyes. "I pushed you too far," he said. Shaking his head, he hated himself. He reached down to put on his boots. "I get that you've gone some things to work through. But I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me now where we stand. This silent treatment is getting old."

After he put his boots on, he turned to her. Waited. "I need to stand on my own two feet. To make my own money. To live in a place that I paid for." She bit her lip. "To know that I can be on my own without having to depend on someone. Really depend on someone to bail me out."

His heart was breaking and the plans he had to wear her down fell flat at his feet. Deflated into the swirl of despair that was his life. "Say it."

Tears started to fall down her cheeks. "I love you, Rob. I just can't be with you right now."

He stared down at the floor for a long time. Time eluded him. Until he looked up and into her eyes. The woman he loved, he mused. The woman for the second time in his life was telling him she didn't want him. She didn't want her life hitched to his. It hurt.

Emotion swelled inside of him until it threatened to burst out. He couldn't understand what he'd done. Where he'd gone wrong. This wasn't at all what he'd expected. He thought he'd wear her down, show her how good they were together.

Then, when she'd had time to process her trauma, her hurt, he'd be there to catch her. To help her through the emotional fallout. Only, she didn't want him there. Didn't want him period. Well, he mused. That was that. For the second time in his life, he would have to let her go.

Nodding, he couldn't say a word. He didn't trust himself. He stood and walked to the door. "Robin." He stopped and turned to her. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." He'd heard those words before. Not saying a word, he walked out.

Maggie stood in the kitchen. "Hey." He kept walking. "Rob?" He felt raw. He turned. "What happened?" Her brow was creased, she looked at the bedroom and back at him. "What's going on?" She touched his hand. "Are you okay?"

"No." He felt the emotion strangling him. "No, I'm not." He turned and walked out to his truck. He pulled out without looking at the house. The entire drive home, he steeled himself. Tried not to think. To feel. When he pulled up into the driveway, he sat still.

He looked at the house. He'd chosen it for her, he thought. He'd made changes and he'd made sure it was to her specifications. Her wants. Her needs. He did it for her. All for her.

Rob couldn't remember ever feeling so empty. So numb. Inside, he went to the kitchen. He pulled out the bottle of whiskey and drank from the bottle. He drank deeply. And kept on drinking until his vision blurred. Until his mind was so muddled, he couldn't think straight.

When he glanced down at the bottle it was over half empty. Might as well finish it, he mused. Stumbling around the house, he managed to drink the rest. Slumped down on the couch and fell off into the darkness. It couldn't be any darker than he felt.


	21. 21

Regina sat in the kitchen with Maggie. "I hurt him. I'm a horrible person." Tears streamed down her face.

Maggie comforted her. "Regina, you're not horrible. You could've told him the truth."

"I couldn't."

Maggie's hand put a hand on hers. "I love you, but you're being stupid. That man has turned himself inside out for you. He's sacrificed, he's built a home. Why can't you lean on him? He's begging you to."

"I'm terrified," she admitted. "He wants to get married and have babies."

"Most people would be happy to start a family. That's the natural progression of life. You marry, have babies, fall in love, fight like hell, and love harder. David and I have had our struggles too. I think you're being weird about this."

"We're not normal. I'm not normal," she gasped. "God, I don't know how to give him all of me when I don't even know who that is."

"Oh, girl. Stop. You've had a shitty hand dealt to you. The shittiest. You're letting Jaden win and I'll be damned if I let you continue."

"How could you say that?" Regina was hurt.

"I'm your best friend. Jaden is in prison but you're letting yourself be put in there with him. You have a son, a man who loves you, and people who care about you. Why are you throwing that life away?"

"I'm not throwing it away, I just needed to press pause. He's so good, Mags. He's the best man I've ever known."

"What's the problem?"

"You don't get it. He doesn't get it." She stood to pace and rubbed her face in frustration. Her hands tangled in her hair and she felt the panic rising. "I need to be on my own. I need to do things for myself. I don't need help and he can't stop helping."

"Have you told him that?"

"Of course, I have. It's innate in him. He doesn't even realize when he's doing it. I didn't want to hurt him, Mags. He's so patient it's maddening. I wish he'd yell at me. He has before. When I told him that I couldn't be with him right now, he looked numb. I did that." She was close to sobbing.

"Sit down." Maggie took her arm and made her sit down. "I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. I'm not going to let you do this to Rob. I've seen him hurting long enough."

Regina swallowed. "What?"

"You need a slap and a kick in the gut." Her voice was crisp, her eyes like ice. "You've had therapy about this. Your fears are unprecedented and stupid. Get ahold of yourself. Let me ask you a few questions. Do you love him?"

"Yes, but…"

Maggie put a hand up to stop her. "Yes or no."

"Yes," she whispered.

"Does he support Roland and treat him like the father he is?"

"Maggie…" Her temper started to rise.

"Answer the question."

"Yes."

Maggie nodded. "Is he financially stable?"

"Yes."

"Would he dedicate his life to you and Roland?"

"I…"

Maggie shouted. "Yes or no?!"

"Yes." Regina was feeling foolish.

"Does he love you?"

"Yes."

"Sounds to me like there wasn't a no to any of those questions. He's the perfect man for you and he loves you. You owe him an apology and you need to grovel. You need to crawl."

"I can't believe this." Standing she clutched her belly and wanted to believe this was all a nightmare. "It's not that easy."

Staring at Regina, she assessed her face. "What is it? You're hiding something."

"No, I'm not." Her throat filled with tears. "Oh, God. Mags."

"When I came home yesterday, you were upset. I thought it was because you'd sent him away. He's been with Roland all day. There's more. What is it?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh my god. You are so stupid." Standing, Maggie went to her. Took her into her arms and hugged her. Then, she shoved her back and said. "If you think you're not going to tell him, you're wrong. I will tell him in a heartbeat."

"You wouldn't." Regina lifted her chin in defiance.

"The hell I will. You did that to him once. You better not do that to him again. Go." Turning her toward the door, she gave her a shove. "Get your ass in the car and go to him. Tell him you're pregnant and that you're an idiot." When she only stood there, Maggie nudged her. "Go!"

"I can't."

"You can and you will. When you walk out the door, you'll get exactly what you've wanted. A family."

"I need time." Turning, she begged her. "Please. Give me some time."

Maggie stared at her for a few moments before she nodded. "Fine. You have by thanksgiving. If you don't tell him by then, I'll tell him."

"I swear. I will."

…

The house was full of people setting up tables, decorations, and cooking food. Rob sat at the desk in the barn to hide. In the days since his heart was shattered, he'd kept to himself. No longer able to look around a house he'd made for, he packed it up. Shut it down. Soon, he'd put it on the market.

Roland's room was packed, and the boxes now lined his office in the barn. When Regina moved into the house, he'd heard she was likely to move into, he'd make sure she got his things. For now, they settled in the barn. Rob's things were unpacked and put into the cabin.

The first night he stayed there, he went through it with a garbage bag and threw everything in it away. Blankets, towels, soaps, bottles. Anything that reminded him of her, anything that smelled like her. It all went into a bag. He'd given it to Maggie and left it up to her to see it got where it needed to go.

Then, he'd bought new stuff, sprayed the entire cabin with nasty smelling Febreze, and moved in. The place didn't smell like her. He had to be content with that. As he worked, he recalled the day he'd moved out of the house. The day he'd had the horses moved back. To Roland's dismay, Parker was given to a neighbor.

Rob couldn't bring him to the ranch because the barn cats were violent. So, he'd given him away. It gutted him to see Roland cry. It had to be done, he mused. He'd get him that dog he wanted, he promised him. Now, in the days since he moved—a week or so—he worked all hours of the day. It kept his mind off her. Off anything.

When he spent time with Roland, he knew he was a disappointment. He took him to his school turkey day. He took him to the fall festival, where he had to share time with Regina, and he'd taken him to the pizza parlor with Troy. He'd tried hard to be fun and outgoing, but he knew he failed.

Roland didn't seem to notice, thank god. Now, Thanksgiving was upon them and Rob could care less. His heart wasn't in it. His finances were his focus. He'd planned to move his business to his property and had spent the last few days canceling deposits. Shifting around things.

As he'd done before Regina had stumbled back in his life, he focused on the ranch. His solid business plan would be his focus. The jumping ring would be done soon, and it would bring in revenue. In turn, he'd hire more trainers, buy more horses, and have more training schedules. He figured he had enough capital to start that rescue within the next five years.

If all went to plan, he'd have a full run operation that raked in a six-figure income. He'd hire more people, build more barns, expand in another five years. It was all about prioritizing. His attention was fully on the future of Ross ranch. His only focus, he reminded himself.

As promised to Yvonne, he would sell the house and the land, they could start the disabled rider's program. It was a good enough way to make a living, he mused. If all the figures matched up, they'd be in the green for the next decade or more. There would be no mistaking Ross Ranch. It was his pride. He hoped when Roland was old enough, he'd leave it to him.

Satisfied, he turned off his computer and went to muck out stalls. The sweat and the work kept him busy. The horses kept him company. The long hours kept him outside and away from people unless it was necessary. The cold air was good for him.

Mounting a horse, he rode off into the property. As he passed the house, he clenched his jaw when he saw Regina and Maggie getting out of a truck. Looking at her wasn't going to do him any good. He kicked the horse into a gallop to get as far away from her as he could.

…

"When are you going to talk to him?" Maggie eyed her and Regina turned her head as they walked in the house.

"After dinner."

Maggie stopped her at the door. "You're ready. I'll take care of Roland."

"I'm nervous."

"Good. I hope he rakes you over the coals before he forgives you." Squeezing her arm, she pushed her forward.

"Gee thanks."

They entered the house to a house full of people. Jack huddled with his brother, his nephews, and his nieces. Roland and Troy were already running around with nerf guns Rob bought them. A nerf bullet whizzed by her as she carried in her pies.

"Regina." Betty went to her and kissed her cheeks. "I'm so happy." Regina set down the pies and went into her arms.

"I'm scared."

"You'll be fine. I'm gonna be a grandma again. That's a blessing," she said.

"I still haven't told anyone," she confessed.

"Your secret is safe with me." She patted her hand. "Unless it comes to Maggie's promise. We're in agreement. Tell him today, baby. This is your chance to make up for what happened before."

"Yes ma'am."

Regina socialized, she helped in the kitchen, made sure Roland was entertained and kept he eyes out for Rob. He'd yet to make an appearance.

She lost herself in the laughs, the food preparation, and the holiday music. When Rob made his way into the house, he went to his father. Socialized with people. He sat with Roland and Troy while they learned how to play war with a deck of cards.

Engaged with Maggie and Betty, she saw him go into the kitchen and get elected to carve the turkey. Her nerves were in a bundle. She'd been sipping on hot tea all day. A few times, she snuck marshmallows.

When they sat down for dinner, they had to go around the table and say something they were thankful for. It started with Jack. "Thanks for coming, everybody. We're blessed to have a full table. We're all blessed for that."

Betty smiled. "I'm thankful for family, friends, and the future."

They kept going around the table. When they stopped at Rob, she kept her eyes on his. He looked down at the table. "I'm thankful for this land," he began. "For the work, sweat, and blood that goes into it. For the people who work hard to keep it that way." Turning, she looked down at Roland who sat next to him. "I'm most thankful for my son." He sighed. "I hope one day you'll care for this land as I have."

Roland grinned. "Yes sir!"

They moved onto Tuck, Yvonne, other family members. Then it was her turn. Terrified, she said. "I'm thankful for many things. Mostly, I'm thankful that we make mistakes." People frowned and looked at her. "I'm thankful that there is fear and forgiveness. For growth and for choice." Rob's eyes flickered to hers and averted. "To family and friends," she finished.

They ate so much food Regina felt full and a little nauseous. Maggie pulled her aside as they began to serve dessert. "It's time."

"I know. First, can you come upstairs? I have something I want to run by you."

…

Rob was so full he felt like he could fall asleep in his chair. If he wasn't involved in a hand of poker with the guys, he would do just that. He glanced down at his hand. He had a straight and waited for the guys to place their bets. He shoved a fifty in the middle of the table and earned wide eyes around the table.

"What you go there, Rob?"

He smirked. "You'll see in a minute."

Jack and Rob, his cousin, put down a fifty. The rest folded. Jack had two aces. Rob had a small straight. Rob put his cards down and earned groans. "Next time, boys." He took the money and shoved it into his pocket. He stood and walked into the kitchen with his empty dessert plate.

Betty and his cousin, Reese were washing dishes. He set down the plate. "Thanks for dinner, mom." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Where's Roland?"

"I sent the boys outside, they kept hitting us with the nerf guns."

"Alright. I'll go find them."

Betty took his hand to stop him. "River is outside with them." She smiled. "Thanks, Robby." When he frowned at her, she glanced behind him.

"Rob?"

His back tensed and he turned to see Regina standing in the doorway. She wore a deep navy dress with matching shoes. Her hair was twisted in a complicated braid at the base of her neck. Her eyes were wary, her hands twisting. Her cheeks were pale. "Could I have a minute?"

Wanting to escape, he looked toward the door. "I was gonna go out with the boys."

"Reese and David are outside," she said. Feeling uneasy, he glanced between her and his mother. "Please."

He swallowed. He can't say not to her, he mused. He hated it. Even hurting as much as he was, he couldn't say no. "Sure." He followed her upstairs. At the top of the stairs, she went into the bedroom. He paused at the doorway and entered.

Regina sat on the bed. He leaned against the wall and crossed his ankles and arms. "What's up?"

"I wanted to give you this," she said extending a manilla envelope.

He glanced down at it. "What is it?"

"Open it, please."

He took it and pulled out a change of name form. Roland's previous name was listed on the top of the form. Looking at the bottom, his heart swelled when he saw the name change. "He has my name."

"Yea," she said smiling. "It came a few days ago."

"Thank you." It was all he could think of to say.

"There's more," she said. Her voice shook and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"What?" Her face was pale, her hands were shaking.

"I owe you an apology," she said. "The biggest."

"You don't owe me anything." He set down the envelope. "I appreciate this."

"Rob, I didn't buy the house."

He met her eyes. "I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out."

"I didn't put in an offer."

"Why not?"

She stood and started to pace. It unnerved him. "I was going to after Christmas. I had it all worked out." She turned. "I turned down the job."

He stopped at that. "You seemed pretty sure that you wanted it. You had a plan," he said giving her words back to her.

"I know, but something you said got me thinking."

"What's that?" He couldn't say why he didn't like seeing her look so nervous.

"It wasn't something I could see myself enjoying. I met with Charles and it would've been a big step down for me. Including pay." She began to pace again. He couldn't keep his eyes off her face. "I declined the job."

"You said."

"I met with Roland's teacher and counselor the other day."

"Why?" His back went up.

"The same boys were picking on him again. They stole his backpack and they threw his tablet in the toilet."

Rob's blood went up. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? I'd have gone down there."

"Rob, wait." She put a hand up. "I went down there. I talked to the principal."

"What good did that do?" He said. "No offense, but you're not very good standing up to her."

She smirked. "I may have been in a bad mood that day, but I let her have it."

His brow rose. "What do you mean?"

"I told her I was tired of hearing about Roland being pushed around. She's having the boy's parents pay us for the tablet."

"Good." He was impressed.

"And I withdrew him from the school." She took a deep breath.

"Excuse me?"

She stopped and he saw the tears in her eyes. "I should've listened to you. I talked to Roland and he wants to go to school at Bradford's."

His heart began to beat hard. "What does that mean?"

"Well, I found a building by Medard's. The lease is relatively affordable, Medard is willing to help me redo the parking lot. The school is close enough that I can pick him up after school and still finish up a full day at the office."

He stood staring at her. She kept pacing. Kept talking. "I got my license; I have a few clients set up after the first of the year. The bank loan will be enough to renovate the office. I need new carpets, new paint, and furniture. Maggie has connections to an artist who can provide watercolors."

Stopping, she turned to face him. "Maybe you can put in a word for me."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Closing her eyes, she said, "You're not making this easy for me."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

She stepped forward and took his hand. "Robin, I'm telling you this because I want to apologize for hurting you."

"It doesn't matter," he lied.

"Yes, it does." She brought his hand down to rest on her belly. His eyes narrow. His heart beats fast. When she lifted her eyes, she has tears in her eyes. "I've done nothing but hurt you. I don't want to do it anymore. I want what you promised me."

He stared down at his hand. "Regina…"

"I want it, but I'm terrified. That's what I didn't tell you before. I'm scared. So scared that I won't measure up to what you want."

"What is it you think I want?"

"Marriage, family," she took a deep breath. "Babies."

"Why does that scare you? Why are you…" She pressed his hand tighter against her. "Are you pregnant?" He frowned down when she let out a sob. "Are you?" He took her face in his hands, assessed her eyes. His heart lifted and he felt lighter than he had in weeks.

Nodding, she let him pull her to him. Tears misted his eyes. He gripped her so hard he was afraid to hurt her. For the first time ever, he buried his face in her neck and wept.


	22. 22

Rob's arms were crushing her to him and—given the circumstances—he didn't care. When the emotion of the moment engulfed him, destroyed him, surrounded him, he'd lost it. A full explosion of emotion pent up had made him a blubbering mess. It couldn't be real, he mused. It wasn't true, he argued with himself.

Normally, he'd be mortified and horrified to have acted in such a way, but he wasn't. To his surprise and reprieve, she was sobbing just as much as he was and that told him a lot.

She'd just sent him away, said she couldn't be with him now, and she'd meant it. Regina didn't say things she didn't mean. When he realized she was pregnant, his whole world erupted with joy. With a joy so tender, so encompassing, it swallowed him. It didn't matter what else was going on. That simple piece of news was the best feeling in the world. A feeling he'd missed out on.

In Rob's mind, he was meant to be there for it all. He'd missed the agony of wondering if they were pregnant. He'd missed the anxiety of waiting to hear the results, last time and this time. Now, she was here, and he wasn't going to miss a thing.

If she tried to push him away now, she'd have an uphill battle on her hands. He wasn't going to let her.

His arms held her to him with such force, he slowly realized she was shuddering from her own tears. To comfort, he loosened his grip and used his hands to caress her shoulders, her back. His instinct was to hold. To soothe. But he needed to look at her. To see her eyes.

Slowly and reluctantly, he leaned back. He cupped her face gently and scanned her face. "How long have you known?"

She swallowed. "Since our last day together," she admitted. "I wasn't myself."

"You knew?" He frowned.

"No," her arms tightened around him. "I…I can't breathe." Slipping out of his arms, she took a few deep breaths and paced. "I was at the store and when I went to get some ladies things, it hit me. I hadn't bought them in a couple of months. I was so stressed out, I hardly noticed what was going on." Her feet were bare now, she'd toed off her heels.

Of all things, his eyes focused on her burgundy toenails. Absurd, he thought.

"I was distracted and talking to Maggie on the phone. I freaked out and I left and got home. I didn't realize that you'd be here, and I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind." She stopped. "Maggie made me go get a test that night. I couldn't even think, and I don't even know what I said to you."

Holding on to his disappointment, he asked, "Why did it take you so long to tell me?"

"I needed to wrap my head around it. We didn't plan this, Robin." Her voice was high, and he knew it meant she was panicked. "This was all happening too fast for me. I couldn't catch my breath. I'm still overwhelmed."

"Is this why you didn't take the job? Because you're pregnant?" He swallowed his emotions. "Are you just telling me because you feel guilty?"

To his surprise, heat flooded her cheeks and her eyes turned hard. "No. I'd never do that to you. It just so happens that when I found out I sat down and had to look at myself. Not to mention, I had Maggie kicking my butt around every thought I had."

Crossing her arms, she sighed. "Maggie gave me an ultimatum, I had to tell you today or she'd do it for me. I wanted to tell you, but I feared what was in my mind."

That a girl, he thought. Maggie was his hero, he decided. "What did you find?"

Sitting down, she brought her knees up to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees. He thought she looked fragile and small that way. "I talked to my therapist and she helped me see some things I've buried. I'm still ashamed."

Softening, he sat beside her. "I thought you'd made good progress in getting past that. I know it won't ever go away, but you said you felt better."

"I thought so too, but it isn't easy. I still want to be independent." Her head turned and their eyes met. "I need to do things on my own. I can't have you stepping in every time I mess up. You have this way about you, and I don't have the guts to tell you to stop."

Unsure of where to go, he asked, "How do I help you?"

"I need to fight my own battles, pay for things, and I need to be emotionally self-reliant. I can't put all my emotions on you and expect you to carry me. I feel like I've used you as a crutch. I feel amazing when I'm with you." Touching his hand, she smiled.

"But when I'm alone, I let it all back in. I need to handle it alone. I need room to do them, to figure out who it is I am."

"I know who you are," he said simply. Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles. "In here." He pressed his hand to her heart and felt the strong steady beat.

"I don't know who I am outside of being a lawyer, or a…"

"Don't say it, you'll piss me off," he said darkly. The look on her face told him she was about to degrade herself and he wouldn't stand for it.

"I need to figure out how to be independent and feel secure in myself."

His thoughts shifted, released ideas, discarded others. When he spoke, he hoped it would be a good solution. "What do you need from me?" He kissed her hand again. "Space? To live alone. What?"

Pressing her hand to his cheek, she kissed him. Her lips tasted like pie. She pulled away too quickly. "I might need to stand on my own for a little while."

Closing his eyes, he asked, "Where does that leave us? I can't be jerked around here, Regina. I just can't handle it. I did it once and we spent a decade apart. I'll do what you want, but you've gotta be honest with me. If you want me, I need to know. If that means, I give you some space, I will. But I need to know the general trajectory."

"I love you," she said.

"Enough to spend your life with me? I'm not asking that you promise me that now," he argued. "I need to know in the long run what's coming. I can't keep turning myself inside out like this. It hurts too much. I don't have it in me."

"Robin." She wrapped her arms around him. For a minute, he buried his face in her hair. "I need you to be patient with me."

"I have been," he said. "Tell me, you want me." Before she could, he indulged himself by closing his mouth over hers and sinking into the sweetness of her lips. "Tell me what you want."

"I've never wanted anyone else," she whispered. "So, be patient with me. I want what you promised me, but I need to figure out what's inside my head."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," he said and kissed her again. Slow, steady, and as he let himself drift into the flavor and feel of her, an idea came to mind.

"I think you should take the house."

"What?" Her frown made her brows curl and her skin wrinkle.

"I bought that house and fixed it up for you. That house is more yours than it is mine. If you need to feel secure in your ability to support yourself, move in. Pay for the utilities, the land taxes, pay for whatever you want to change. I don't care. It's yours."

"But I can't do that, Robin. That's your house."

"I moved out, Regina. It's empty. The furniture is in storage. If you want it, make it into a place for you. I'll stay in the cabin here. If you need your space, take it. I'll make sure you're set up and I'll help fix the alternator in your car. If I can help you, I'd like to do it like this."

Her eyes scanned his face. "Why do you give me everything I want? I don't deserve it."

Framing her face with his hands, he kissed her forehead. "You deserve everything. I made a promise to you when we were kids. Do you remember?"

"Not specifically," she said looking confused. He liked her that way, confused and searching. He remembered that summer with perfect clarity.

"I promised to take care of you in any way I could as long as you let me. Ten years ago, I tried to take care of you. When I stepped up, you stepped out. I had to live with that pain. If you need to live alone, take care of yourself for a while, I understand. But Regina," he said seriously. "I'll be damned if I miss anything this time."

He took her hands and squeezed. "If you want to put the breaks on this romantically, I'm all for it. I'll help you with whatever you need. All you have to do is ask, but when it comes to this baby." He glanced down at her flat belly. "I don't want to miss anything."

"Okay," she nodded. "I promise."

"If we're gonna do this right, I'm gonna take advantage for a minute." Before she realized his meaning, he yanked her against him and took her mouth hot and deep and long. If this was the last time, he was going to kiss her, he'd damn well make it memorable.

He felt himself sliding down into the dizziness of desire. The fire in him threatened to engulf him, but he held it tightly. When she yielded, he changed the angle and sunk into her sweet surrender.

When he finally lifted his head, her eyes were clouded, her lips swollen. "I needed that." Nudging her shoulders, she sat up. "Come on, let's go see what trouble Roland's got himself into." He extended his hand and companionably, they walked down the stairs.

…

Regina stood on the back porch of the house as movers, with the assistance of Rob and Tuck, carried in furniture and boxes. Crossing to the planters, she babied the flowers with water. The hummingbird feeder was filled with bright red sugar water. Around the back, she'd planted lavender and hoped they'd bloom big and flashy.

Rob had been right, she mused. The house with all its charm, character, and sturdiness was exactly what she loved. Roland had been ecstatic to hear they'd be moving in. And he'd been disappointed to hear Rob wouldn't be. That had been a losing battle, she recalled.

Despite it, Rob promised to be involved as much as he could. He'd met with the principal of Bradford's Elementary and set Roland up for his first day. It had gone smoother than they'd hoped. He'd made a friend on the first day, she smiled. Little Jodi.

As she looked out in the yard, Roland and Jodi were climbing a tree and swinging from a tire swing. Proud of her son, she sat and enjoyed the cool weather. Flurries had fallen the night before and left behind a dust of snow. Not enough to stick, but enough to turn the dirt to mud.

With her request to be moved in by Christmas, Rob had made sure it happened. Just three more days, she thought. Tomorrow, they'd go down to the tree lot and have one chopped down. It would dominate the living room. Closing her eyes, she could see it.

Lights strung around the branches, popcorn, and candy canes look bright and cheery. Ornaments in silver, gold, and red. She compromised with the action figure ornaments Roland picked out. To counter, she chose snowmen, snowflakes, and holly. She couldn't wait to see it all decorated.

Therapy was working wonders, she mused. Dr. Yonkers was based in the town and she found her to be better than her online appointments. To put it mildly, Dr. Yonkers gave it to her straight. Gentle but firm, she helped Regina sort out her emotions. It gave her a sense of self-awareness she didn't think she had.

Just yesterday, she mused, she'd been feeling shame and embarrassment when her name came up at the local diner. A local woman, Trudy Wade, recognized her from the news. It had been a dark moment, but she'd survived it. Then, she'd cried on Dr. Yonkers couch.

Reflecting on how she felt, she heard a commotion inside. Making her way to the living room, she watched Rob and Tuck wrestle in the new wraparound couch into place. "This fucker is heavy," Tuck complained. He winced when it landed on his foot. Quickly, he lifted it and his foot was free. "Heavy bastard."

Rob cleared his throat. When Tuck turned, he blanched. "Sorry, Regina. I didn't see you standing there. Pardon my language."

"I think you earned it. How's the foot?"

"I'll live," he grinned. "It looks great, you called that one." He'd bet Rob twenty dollars it wouldn't fit. Rob would be richer, she mused.

Tuck went outside and Rob asked, "Where are the kids?"

"Climbing the trees, being kids."

He walked to her and lifted her chin, moved it right to left. "How are you feeling? You look a little pale, a little green maybe."

It was so unnerving that he could tell when she was feeling nauseous or too tired. Both at the same time, she thought. "I'll be fine," she edged around him and ran her fingers over the deep gray couch. "I love it." Under her feet, a white and gray checkered rug would go nicely.

"I knew you would. I've got the dresser in the truck. I could use a break. Got anything to eat?" He was sweating, his shirt dripping, his hat soaked.

"Sit down, I'll fix something." In the kitchen, he sat while she pulled out sandwich ingredients. Holding her breath had become a skill. Lunchmeat, for whatever reason, made her want to vomit. Eggs too. Strange how some foods become disgusting when you're pregnant. "Dr. Norman called."

"Oh? What did he say about moving the appointment?" Glancing over her shoulder, he took a big gulp of the water he poured.

"Tomorrow at three," she relayed. "Roland's teacher called and sent over the assignments for a break. He'll catch up by New Year."

"Good. It sucks that his credits weren't all transferable. He's a smart kid, he'll be fine." Regina set the sandwich down and watched him take a huge bite. Around that bite, he said. "Mom wants to invite you to Christmas dinner. Says you're required."

"I talked to her already. Maggie and I are bringing the turkey and the ham."

"What about the pie?" His mouth was busy chewing.

"Nope."

"What do you mean nope?" He looked shocked.

Smirking, she said, "I'm having Donna bring her pies. All of them."

"Don't play with me like that," he said. Rob and she discovered a little bakery next to the building she hoped to buy for her practice. Donna Sutherland made the best pies in the world. Rob couldn't get enough.

"I'm not playing. I invited her and her husband. They're going to the festival with us too. I hope you don't mind."

Swallowing the last bite, he shook his head. "The more the merrier. I like Rob. He's a cool guy. Hell, I'll invite Tuck and Yvonne. Make it a big thing."

"Alright." Suddenly, she clutched her stomach and felt bile rise in her throat. For a second, she stood still. Then made a dash for the bathroom in time to empty her stomach. In her hurry, she failed to close the door.

Rob stood behind her and gathered her hair up out of her face. "I don't want you to see me like this," she groaned and threw up again.

"Hush." He rubbed her back as he wet a washcloth and handed it to her. "Better?"

"Yea." He tucked her hair behind her ears. "Did you eat today?"

"This morning," she admitted. "I can't keep anything down."

Frowning, he toyed with her hair. "Maybe there's something they can give you. Don't forget to ask tomorrow." He swung the mirror and took out a toothbrush and handed it to her. Kissing her on the forehead, he walked out. "I'll get back to work. Go sit down and rest."

An hour later, Regina woke like the dead. She'd sat on the new couch and cuddled into one of the plush red pillows. Opening her eyes, she listened but heard nothing. A hand caressed her leg and she turned to see Rob sitting next to her.

A movie was playing, and Roland and Jodi were involved in a villain blowing up a building. The cartoon danced on the screen and she heard giggles. Rob glanced over and caught her eye. "Feel better?"

She nodded. He stood and held out a hand. "I made dinner." Leading her to the table, he put a plate on the table. Sat across from her. "Tomorrow, I'll pick you up to get the tree. I emptied out the bed of my truck. Tuck will bring the rest of the boxes for Roland's room."

Taking a bite, she thanked him and moaned around her fork. He laughed. "That good, huh?"

"What is this?"

He frowned, "Chicken. I put some spice on it."

"It's really good," she declared and took another bite.

"I think that baby is dulling your senses. It's not that great."

While she ate, he talked about his plans for the next day. They'd done that so casually now. Each knew what the other was doing. They called, texted, and they spent time together. To her wishes, he didn't pressure her. They didn't behave romantically. It was comfortable and she liked that he respected her.

At times, she wished she could lay with him and sleep in his arms, but it wasn't in the cards. Not yet. Dr. Yonkers explained that trauma can lead to bad decision making. To heal is to grow and to do things that are normal. So, until she felt she could fully forgive herself, she should remain single. However, given the circumstances, she'd told Regina to follow her heart. To listen to her gut.

When Rob left that night, he paused in the doorway. "I love you." Without fail, when he left, he'd say he loved her. It wasn't a ploy to hear it. It was simply his way of expressing himself and he didn't want her to forget. His lips rested against her temple, as it did each time, he left her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Then, he knelt and pressed his ear to her belly. "I love you, too." As he did every time, he kissed her belly, stood, and grinned. "Goodnight, mama."

"Goodnight, papa." He kissed her knuckles and she watched until his headlights disappeared down the drive. Tucked in her bed, she couldn't help but fall asleep with a smile on her face.


	23. 23

Overnight, snow fell in heavy flakes that quickly became a blanket over the ground. Regina wrapped herself in a robe and walked down to the kitchen to start a kettle for tea. Opening the backdoor, she smiled. It was a winter wonderland, she thought.

In a bit, she could imagine Roland making snow angels, building a snowman, and having a snowball fight with Rob. It made her heart happy. Turning on the outside lights, it brought the Christmas feel to life. Lights danced outside against the white snow. Behind her, the tree they'd put up yesterday dominated the room.

The pops of color, cute additions, and shiny ornaments made her smile. Turning on the radio and Bing Crosby crooned about a white Christmas. His deep voice and dreamy tone followed her into the kitchen to start breakfast. Christmas morning was her favorite.

Presents were piled under the tree and she knew Rob would be here any minute to add to the pile. She pulled out the eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and pancake mix. It was a tradition every year that they'd eat the biggest breakfast possible.

Roland really loved putting chocolate chips in his waffles, and he devoured bacon like no other kid. When the pancakes were piled high, Judy Garland wanted her to have a Merry Little Christmas.

They would have the perfect day, she mused. Betty and Jack were hosting dinner this year. There were tons of people coming, tons of food to eat, and gifts to exchange. Glancing over at the box under the tree she'd wrapped in green, she hoped Rob would like her gift.

It wasn't what he was used to, but it would be something they could admire. She'd keep it for after the party. It was a rather intimate gift and she wouldn't want to embarrass him in front of his family. Her mood was uplifted when she heard Rob's truck pull up to the back door.

She held her breath when she cracked the eggs and whipped them up. Taking a sip of her tea, she tried to breathe through her mouth to keep from smelling the eggs. It was her sore spot, but it didn't bother her to eat them. Weird.

Rob came inside and asked, "Is Roland up yet?" He had the bed of his truck down and there were too many presents to count. It was just after six in the morning.

"Not yet," she walked to the door. "Rob, what did you do?"

He shrugged. "I had a lot to make up for. So, I went all out. Don't be mad," he said and reached in for the biggest box. It was wrapped in red with a white bow.

"What's inside?"

He grinned and lifted the lid. A golden retriever puppy head popped out. "Oh, god." Reaching out, she stroked the puppy's head. "It's so soft. Hi, baby." Kissing his nose, she smiled. "Roland is going to go crazy."

Rob closed the lid. "Let's keep it a secret until after breakfast," he suggested. He set the box by the tree and made a few trips to bring in the rest of the boxes. To Regina's surprise, the puppy stayed inside the box. An identical red box was put next to the first and she hoped it wasn't two puppies.

"Rob, that better not be what I think it is." Crossing her arms, she glared at him.

He gave her a sheepish grin and continued to move things around quietly.

By the time he had everything set up, Regina put the food on the table, and they waited for Roland to come downstairs. Eartha Kitt crooned out Santa Baby and Rob held out his hand. "Come here."

"What?"

"Dance with me," he grinned.

"Robin, I can't dance." She took his hand and he led her by the tree, and they started to move to the quick and joyful beat.

"You're doing just fine." He held her close and swayed to the beat. "You look beautiful."

"You need to have your eyes checked. I just rolled out of bed."

Tightening his arms around her, he said, "You look the best like this. I love your face when it's free of all that makeup you wear. This is you." He kissed her forehead. They continued to dance, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sometimes I wish that we could go back, and things would've been different," she said in a low voice.

He didn't respond right away. When he did, he said, "Your life is proof that no one's path is set. We'll never know what could've happened. What matters is that you found your way back from the darkness and into the light." The song changed to Baby it's Cold Outside and they stopped.

Glancing up, Regina saw they'd managed to stand below the mistletoe. Her arms were around his neck pressed up against him. She tilted her head back and searched his eyes. "I have you to thank."

"I only helped. You did the work." He smiled.

"It wasn't fair, Robin. Our story was so short," she said with tears in her eyes.

"It didn't make it any less epic," he whispered. She pulled him down and pressed her lips softly to his mouth. When he lifted his head, he asked, "What was that for?"

Regina pointed upward, "Mistletoe."

"You know," he said nuzzling closer. "We have a second chance to make that story happen again." He brushed his cheek against hers and she closed her eyes at the intimate gesture. "This time, we're not kids. There isn't an easy fix and I might scare you away again."

He looked into her eyes and looked so serious. "I have something I've been wanting to give you, but it hasn't been the right time. I figure Christmas is as good a time as any." He pulled a red velvet box from his pocket and her heart began to pound in her chest.

"Robin…"

He lifted the lid and a ring in gold winked back at her. It looked old but newly polished. The center of the ring was engraved with some foreign language. An intricate pattern of the gold held a blue diamond set in the center of the ring. "What does it say?"

"My great-great-grandfather gave this to my great-great-grandmother in Scotland and had it engraved. It says," his low voice that prickled her skin with nerves. "My heart is yours for eternity." Her eyes snapped to his and she felt the room begin to spin. "Regina, my grandmother wanted me to give this ring to the woman I intend to spend my life with."

She tried to swallow, but her throat was too thick. She held tighter to him. "Robin, I don't know if…" To her surprise, he leaned forward and silenced her in a kiss. A slow dizzying kiss that sent her body into a weakened state. When her head began to swim and her limbs began to go limp, he eased back.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, yet." She blinked when he slid it on her finger. "I'm giving this to you as a promise. That when you're ready, you'll let me give you what I promised you all those years ago. I want you to be happy, darlin'. If that means that you take some time to heal, then so be it." He leaned in and kissed her sweetly.

"Regina Mills, I promise to take care of you." His lips brushed her cheek. "To make you happy or to apologize when I make you mad." He moved slowly to kiss her other cheek. "To support you in whatever you want to do in this life." His lips pressed to her temple. "To be there for our children and to watch them grow." Her other temple got the same attention.

His hands caressed up her back and he nuzzled his lips against the nape of her neck, pressed and held for a minute. "If you let me, I'll be the husband you deserve. The man you deserve." He lifted his head and smiled. "I promise to make sure I give you whatever you want if it's in my means."

Regina's eyes were wet, and her emotions were close to the surface. "What do you see in me?"

He laughed. "I see everything in here." He pressed his lips softly to her heart. "I love you." He sunk into a kiss that was beyond their agreement, but she was swept up and opened for him. For a few frantic moments, they lost themselves in each other.

Regina's hands fisted into his coat and held him close. Her sense of control was slipping when his hands tangled in her hair and he changed the angle. There was pent up frustration between them, and it was dangerous to unleash it. The kiss was more than an overflow of emotions. It was need.

Lost in the moment, the kiss became deeper. Rob's tongue stroked inside of her mouth and her breasts rubbed against his chest eagerly. Before she realized what was happening, she was laying on her back on the big cushy couch. Rob's mouth nibbled along her neck and his groin pushed against her hips making his desire known.

Her breath caught as his hands moved across her body with reckless abandon. He parted her robe and his mouth closed over her breast through the material of the top she wore. Gasping, she arched her back as his mouth assaulted her sending her body into a wave of sensation. She moaned as he tugged with his teeth.

"Shh," he mumbled against her skin. He nipped around her cleavage and lifted the fabric of her top. When his mouth closed over flesh, he groaned. A hot flash of arousal shot to her core and she tightened her hands around his shoulders. He managed to shred himself of his coat and his shirt. Her nails dug into his back and caused him to jerk.

She gasped and shifted as his teeth nipped her breast. She whimpered when he did it again. "God, I love you." His hands slid up her arms and lowered the robe to free her. "You're so beautiful, darlin'." She panted as he freed her from the constraints of the material. His mouth hot and avid on her skin.

His hand slipped under her long shirt and found her hot and wet. She wasn't wearing panties. "Oh fuck," he breathed. He penetrated her with his fingers, and she stretched languidly beneath him. Regina's mind had gone blank. Maybe she'd regret this later, maybe not. Right now, her body took over and she only felt.

Despite Roland sleeping upstairs, she allowed herself to be lost in the pleasure.

To feel desire, want, and pleasure during sex made her feel powerful. It had always been this way with Rob and never had with any other man. Even when she'd allowed herself to enjoy with Jaden, it had never been like this. Her heart was pounding so hard, her breath was heavy, and her body hot and alive.

When he withdrew his hand, she groaned. He reached down and released himself from his jeans. Then, he slid his hands under her shoulders and sunk into a deep kiss. Her legs wrapped around his hips and brought him into her. Her hands gripped his torso tightly as he began to rock his hips.

His lips found hers again as he started to thrust in short, rhythmic pumps. Regina was swamped with sensations and emotions. She tore her mouth away to take in air. He lifted his torso to look down at her and she saw everything she needed to see in his eyes.

Why had she been so stupid, she wondered. Robin was full of life, laughter, and love. He never saw her the way she sees herself. She touched his cheek tenderly and he turned his head to press his lips to the palm of her hand.

His rhythm intensified and she felt the coiling inside of her belly. "Oh God," she panted. Her body began to shudder. He lowered himself and she clung to him.

"Fuck," he grunted as she clenched around him. "Come for me, darlin'." Their fingers linked and he held her hands down for purchase. He pistoned his hips and the coil got tighter and tighter until she was sobbing sounds of pure desire as her climax washed over her in waves of heat. Her vision blurred and his head ducked down to nuzzle her neck.

His teeth sank into the hollow between her shoulder and neck and he pulled her into another climax that sent her body into a swirl of shudders and jerks. Her abdomen clenched so tightly it was almost painful. Rob was pulled into his release and grunted so loudly it was almost a shout. When she eagerly rode the sensations, his movements became clumsy and jerky and his whole body became taut.

They rocked together slowly until they came down and collapsed together in exhaustion. Rob's weight on top of her kept her grounded. He was heavy but she didn't want to move. He pressed a kiss to the spot he'd bitten. Lazily, his lips slowly and intimately moved over her shoulder.

As her mind began to clear, he moved to nibble along her jawline and sank into a gentle kiss. If her head wasn't already foggy, it would have been by the way he kissed her so lovingly.

Then, he shifted and rolled behind her. With his arm wrapped around her, he whispered, "Are you alright?"

His hand lazily tugged on her hair and his fingers caressed up and down her arm. "Yeah."

His hand lazily stroked along her belly feeling where her belly was beginning to harden. He kissed her shoulder softly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She looked back over her shoulder.

"I agreed not to touch you." His lips pressed against her cheek. "I couldn't help myself."

Rolling toward him, she wrapped around him and hugged him tightly. The warmth of his body and the feel of his heart beating against hers brought tears to her eyes. This was love, she mused. True and pure love. And she was stupid to keep running from it.

For a long time, she feared it. The swell of emotions inside of her was too great to ignore. "I love you."

His hands caressed up and down her back until she'd stopped shuddering from her good long cry. When she relaxed, he slipped inside of her, and this time they went slow as the radio crooned about a magic Christmas. Rob shifted to his back and brought her atop him.

Hugging her to his chest, she rocked sending delightful shivers through her body. His lips clung to hers and when she began to shudder, he lifted his hips to prolong the feeling. "Let go," he said against her mouth. Regina tried to hold back to make it last a little longer.

Sinking, she shook her head and slowed her pace. His arms tightened around her, and he rolled his hips. She gasped and had to sit up to relieve the tension. Rob took her waist and pulled her back into the intoxicating rhythm. "Come on, darlin'." He picked up the pace and her body began to shudder again. "Let go."

"Oh, God," she felt herself going under and clung a little longer.

"Fuck," Rob shifted and rolled them over nearly overturning them onto the floor. Finding his balance, he pistoned his hips until she was coiled so tight, she had no other choice but to give in and let go. His body jerked and trembled. "Yes. That's it, darlin'."

His hips didn't stop but he slowed and covered her mouth with his in a long deep bone-melting kiss. Her body was limp and loose and relaxed. She moaned when his hand squeezed between them and his thumb slid along her swollen flesh. In a surprising moment, she clenched around him and went over again.

His hips jerked in short clumsy thrusts and he surrendered to his release. His hands gripped her hips so hard he might leave bruises. He groaned in her ear and slumped down in exhaustion. Lifting his heavy head, he kissed her long and slow.

They lay together on the couch quietly feeling the warmth from the fire and listening to the music of the holiday. Rob toyed with her hair and they shared lazy kisses.

When they heard Roland's door open, Rob quickly righted himself. "We'll talk tonight after we come back from moms. I think we need to establish what's between us."

Regina picked up her robe and tied it around her. Kissing him one last time, she nodded and turned to see Roland scrambling down the steps with a wide grin on his face. "It's Christmas!"


	24. 24

Christmas morning blew by so fast. Roland opened his gifts and was so excited when he popped opened the boxes and found the golden retriever puppies inside. Robin enjoyed watching Regina freak out at the thought of taking care of two young puppies. He promised to help and to put them in a training program early.

They'd spent the morning eating, listening to music, and opening gifts. Regina gave him a watch and told him she had another gift she wanted him to open later. He was intrigued but with the hustle and bustle of the day, he put it out of his mind.

The turkey and ham were being cooked at Maggie's house and they gathered up their things to head that way. Roland pouted. "Why can't we take the puppies?"

Rob crouched, "They're still too little, Ro. They've gotta have shots to protect them from the world. Look, we bought a crate just for them. You put blankets and they have plenty of food and water. They'll be just fine."

"But…"

"Ro, they'll be fine, and you'll be too busy ripping open gifts and stuffing your face to take care of them."

"Alright. Can I take my new Spiderman to show grandma?"

"Yea, that's alright. Come on, let's go see what your mom's doing."

Rob took his hand and they rounded the corner. Rob grinned to see Regina sitting on the floor with the puppies cradled in her arms. She looked so happy, he mused. That had been his goal. "Don't you look adorable?"

Her head snapped up and she blushed. "They're so sweet," she said looking back down. Her fingers softly brushed over one of their noses. "You never told me where you got them."

"Tuck has a cousin. They had an unexpected litter and needed homes. Maggie took one."

"Really? I'm guessing you had to convince her." Rob laughed. Yes, he did. Maggie wasn't a dog person, but he knew if she got one young, they'd change her mind.

"It didn't take much. You ready?"

Regina put the puppies in the crate and locked the door. "Yea." He stepped to her and took her hand to bring her to her feet. He kissed her gently and lingered.

Roland groaned behind them. "Yuck. Let's go."

They laughed and Rob led them out to his truck. The drive to the ranch was slow as he meandered down the snowy roads. Music played in the cab and he held Regina's hand. Roland sang Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs in the back.

Rob tugged on Regina's hand and she slid next to him. He put his arm around her and asked, "How are you feeling?"

With her head on his shoulder, she said, "I'm hungry but I'm scared to eat."

"You haven't thrown up in days," he commented. Morning sickness had to suck, he mused. It had been his least favorite thing to see her suddenly pale and get sick. In days, she'd looked better in color and she seemed to glow.

"I still get nauseous and I've been eating the same things, so we'll see what happens when I eat Donna's pies."

Rob's stomach growled. "I can't wait. I'm looking forward to the chocolate pecan."

Roland said, "I want the cherry one with ice cream. Yum!"

Regina chuckled. "You'll have plenty to eat. Maggie's doing a chocolate fountain with strawberries like she promised."

"Yes!"

Rob leaned over and kissed her temple. "Just take it slow and listen to your body."

The snow started to fall by the time they pulled up in front of Jack and Betty's house.

…

The house was chaotic, loud, full of laughter, and Jack sat at the piano and played the keys. Regina stood with Maggie and smiled. "This is better than last year."

Maggie laughed. "By a longshot. Remember when David burned the turkey?" They shared in the amusement. "The ham was dry, but he tried so hard. I'm glad it turned out better this year. I'd have killed him otherwise."

Regina pointed at Donna. "We've got pies too. I'm scared to eat them."

"It's Christmas. If you can't indulge during the holidays, they aren't fun." She paused. "You haven't look in green in a while. I'm thinking the sickness must've passed."

"Yea," she murmured. "Maggie, we need to talk." The sexy morning with Robin played in her head over and over like a real. A very good real, she mused. But talking it out with a friend would put her mind at ease.

"What's up?"

Glancing around, she said. "Alone."

Maggie's brows rose and she scanned her face. "Let's go upstairs."

Once settled in the bedroom, Regina paced. "Promise me you won't laugh at me."

"Why would I?"

Regina stopped and turned to face her friend. "Rob and I…" She was blushing and hated herself for not being able to get the words out.

"Oh, my god. Did you do the nasty?" Maggie looked delighted.

"Why do you have to say it like that?" Regina rolled her eyes.

"Did you? Because when you walked in today, I could've sworn I saw some major sparks flying. Not to mention the evidence."

Regina frowned. "Evidence?"

"Exhibit A," she began with a smirk. "When you walked in, you were holding hands."

"I hold his hand all the time," she argued sitting down.

"Exhibit B," she said sternly. "When you were eating dinner, his hand was on your thigh and I saw the looks you gave each other."

There was no arguing that, so she kept her silence. Maggie smiled satisfied. "Exhibit C is when I saw him feeling you up when we moved onto dessert. So, I knew something was up."

Regina's cheeks flamed. "It was good, Maggie. Really good and I didn't question it at the time."

"You are now?"

"I…" Wringing her hands together, she sighed. "I love him, but I'm still scared that he deserves better. Before you say something," she said seeing Maggie's mouth open to argue. "I know that's stupid and my therapist has told me that. I just have this weird feeling that when I'm so happy that everything is going to fall apart."

"You are happy, and you deserve it, Regina. If anyone deserves happiness, it's you and Rob. He loves you and you love him. Don't question it. You're having a baby and I know that you'll make each other happy." Glancing down at her hand, she said. "Exhibit D, you're wearing a diamond ring on a very important finger."

She smiled. "He said he wasn't proposing but that he was promising all the things that come along with it when I'm ready."

Maggie sighed. "He's the perfect man and you better not let him go."

"I need your help with something."

"Oh?"

Regina took a deep breath. "I bought something for Robin, and I need to know how to present it to him."

"I'll see what I can do," she smiled. "But I have some news myself."

"What news?"

Maggie grinned with tears in her eyes. "David and I are pregnant."

…

While gifts were exchanged and more dessert was passed around, Rob watched Regina. Sitting with Donna, she was enjoying herself. Roland was around with Jodi and Donna's little boy. Regina laughed and he couldn't help but stare.

The morning they shared together wasn't what he'd planned, but he'd enjoyed it. More than enjoyed it, he recalled feeling heat pool into his gut. He hadn't meant to touch her, but when she'd clung to him like a vine, he let himself sink.

Since he'd touched her, his mind and eyes stayed on her. It was hard not to look, he mused. She was glowing and her eyes were so bright. The longer she talked with a therapist and worked on opening her practice, the happier she was.

As he smiled to himself, someone elbowed him. "Are you gonna stare at your woman all night?" David looked annoyed.

"I'm not staring."

"What gives?"

"What do you mean?" Rob turned to see him still scowling.

"You jumped her already, right?" David's brows raised. "It's written all over you.

Rob averted his eyes. "I'm going to dignify that with an answer. What if I asked degrading and intrusive questions about Maggie?"

"I'd deck you," he admitted. "And it's not degrading when you lay with a woman you love."

Rob grinned wickedly. "I'm a better man than that. I'll keep my fist to myself. She's…" He couldn't think of the word for it. "Softening," he decided.

David was silent a moment. "She'll get there. I see you put a ring on it. That has to say something."

"I didn't propose, to my mother's horror," he grimaced. "When she's ready, she'll tell me. Until then, the ring stays put as a promise."

"You're so sappy now," David complained. "I liked it better when you were broody."

Robin met his eyes. "Shut up, you're just as sappy about Mags."

David scratched the back of his neck. "I'll get sappier as time goes on; Maggie's pregnant."

"What?" Rob turned.

"We haven't told anyone. I think she told Regina earlier."

He gave him a backslapping hug, "Congrats man. I'm happy for you."

David grinned. "I'm scares shitless."

They laughed. "I am too. I've never seen Regina like that. She did it all alone before. I'm not missing a thing."

"Good. Come on, I think we should celebrate."

…

When the night dwindled down, Rob found Regina in the kitchen helping with the cleanup. Walking up behind her, he pressed his lips to the back of her neck. She'd tied her hair up. "Hi."

He loved seeing her lips curve and her eyes darken. "Hi." She turned and despite the audience pulled him into a kiss. His head spun at the gentleness; her scent wafted around him. Surrounded him. He pressed a hand to her back when she tried to pull away and brought her back in for a real kiss.

A throat cleared. "While I think it's adorable, you're getting along, do that out of my kitchen," Betty scolded.

Rob laughed as he released Regina and turned to his mother. "I seem to recall you and dad doing plenty in the kitchen." He was rewarded when her pinks stained red.

"Robby, you shame me."

"I do not," he argued and kissed her cheek. "You were a good example." He winked.

She slapped playfully at his chest. "Get out of here and take her with you. She needs to sit down and rest."

Rob turned and scanned Regina's face. She looked a little tired. He brushed his thumb under her eye where a dark circle was beginning to take residence. "Yes, ma'am." To Regina's surprise, he bent and lifted her up into his arms like a child.

"Rob put me down." She looked around embarrassed.

"My mama said you need to sit down, I'm gonna make sure you do. Maggie, darlin' would you get the door?"

"Sure thing." She grinned as he passed out the door and carried her to the cabin.

As they walked through the snow, Regina snuggled closer. "It's freezing."

"Don't worry, it's only for a minute." When he reached the cabin door, he kicked open the door. The fire he'd set earlier was already blazing. He set her on her feet and guided her down to the couch. "Sit down, honey. You look tired."

Sitting, she slipped off her heels. "It's been a long day." When he saw her stretching out her feet, he saw beside her. He took her feet into his lap and began to soothe the ache. As he rubbed her feet, he said, "David told me Maggie's pregnant."

"I know, she told me. I'm thrilled for them. They've been trying for a while."

"Two babies," he mused. "We'll have two babies running around soon enough. It's crazy."

"Are you happy?" He turned because he didn't like the sound of her voice. She looked a little hesitant and wary.

Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her. "I'm happy, darlin'. Don't you worry your pretty little head. We may not have planned it, but I couldn't be happier. David grumbled that we didn't try and managed it," he laughed.

"We weren't exactly careful," she admitted. Her back arched when his thumb dug into her instep and she groaned. "Ow."

"That hurt?" He eased off and massaged it gently. "Better?"

She sank into the sofa pillows and closed her eyes. "Much." He continued to move his hands along her feet. Rob smiled when he saw her hand go to her belly and absently stroke. He wondered what it felt like.

"What does it feel like?"

"What?" She was starting to doze.

"Being pregnant," he said lightly.

"Mmm. Well, other than feeling sick all the time?" She smiled and snuggled deeper into the pillow. "At first, it doesn't feel that different. Then, I start getting hungry and cranky. With Roland, I craved wings all the time. Anywhere I went, I had to have chicken wings."

He laughed. "That's why he likes chicken so much."

"Yes, he does." She continued. "I couldn't smell eggs or meat without wanting to throw up unless it was seasoned. When my belly gets bigger, I feel pressure in my chest."

"Why?"

"The organs move out of the way and the baby takes up all the space. When he kicked, it was like flutters. Then, heavy feet that danced on my bladder," she recalled. "I had to pee every hour on the hour sometimes more." A smile spread across her face and a scowl replaced it. "Then, when it was near time, he kicked me straight in the ribs once and stole my breath."

"Ouch."

"That's an understatement," she said. "Mostly, it's amazing. I can't describe it."

Because he'd opened the box, he asked, "How was the birth?"

"I was stubborn," she admitted. "They asked if I wanted an epidural, but I didn't want him coming out all drugged up. So, I opted out. Boy, did I regret it."

He looked at her in amazement. "You did natural and no drugs?"

Opening her eyes, she lifted her chin. "Yes, I did. It hurt like nothing else, but when he was in my arms…" A tear slid down her cheek. "The pain of thirty-six hours was forgotten."

"Thirty-six hours?" His heart dropped. "I wish I'd have been there to help soothe you."

Guilt fluttered across her features and he released her foot and climbed over her. Resting to his side, he held her close. "Stop feeling guilty. It was just a comment." She relaxed and he asked. "What did he look like when he was born?"

He toyed with her hair and watched the joy come into her eyes. "They put him on my chest, and he was messy," she said. He laughed imagining it wasn't pretty. But when he looked into my eyes, he was perfect." Her eyes misted over. He caught a tear with his fingertip. "The second he was born; I saw you in him."

"Really?" He kissed her cheek. "How so?" His heart clutched to finally hear the most intimate and special moments he missed out on.

"After they cleaned him off and put him in this onesie, he screamed to high heaven," she laughed. "When he screamed, these little dimples," she said tracing the ones on his face. "They popped out and it reminded me of you. He had your smile, which he rewarded me with for the first time when he was seven days old."

Rob grinned. "I love his smile." Tracing her face, he said, "He's got your eyes and my dad's ears."

"He looks like Jack," she agreed. "He has my father's hands," she whispered.

"You miss him." He kissed her fingers. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you lost him. I know how much he meant to you."

"You didn't know."

"Yes, I did. I had a lot going on and I wasn't ready to see you after we parted. I thought if I saw you, it would be too painful. I regret that decision. If I'd gone to the funeral, I would've known about Roland."

"It would've been more painful," she said.

"Maybe, but I don't think looking back and wishing is good for anyone." Kissing the ring on her finger, he said, "We can only go forward." Draping his hand over her belly, he stroked gently. "I'm gonna be here this time and I'm gonna make you happy."

She didn't say anything. "I don't want to mess around here, Regina. I love you. I want us to move forward after the new year and I want to move into the house."

Her breath caught. "I…"

"I've been patient," he said wrapping her close. "I promise to give you the independence and the space you need. But sleeping without you by my side is driving me insane." To prove it, he cupped her face and sunk into a long deep kiss. "I want to go to sleep with you by my side." He kissed her again.

"I want to wake up to your pretty face and I want to help you more than I've been able to. Especially with those puppies we've got in the kitchen." Tears were flowing freely down her face. "What is it, darlin'?" He wiped the tears away with his fingers and lips.

"I was going to wait until I could give you my gift," she said sniffling.

"What gift?"

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I was going to surprise you."

"Oh? What's the surprise?"

She smiled. "Well," she began hugging him closer. "It may shock you."

He nuzzled closer and said, "Nothing will shock me."

"No?" She lifted her head to meet his eyes. "Not even if I tell you I went to the doctor the other day because I wasn't feeling well?"

"What?" Suddenly concerned, he moved his hands over her to check for injury or harm. "Why didn't you tell me. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said. "I figured out why I'm so sick all the time."

"Why?"

Surprising him, she wrapped her arms around him and brought his lips to hers. They shared a long lingering kiss and when she released him, she hugged him to her chest. In his ear, she indeed shocked him. "We're having twins. Merry Christmas."


	25. 25

Rob's body jerked above her, and she knew she'd managed to shock him. It wasn't how she'd planned, but the mood was right. He lifted his head to look into her eyes and she saw the wariness. "Did you say, twins?" His hands had unconsciously tightened around her waist. His voice was thread and uneven.

Nodding, Regina pressed a hand to his chest and felt his heart beating widely. "Yea, the doctor said that I have more hormones in my system than usual. It's why I've been so sick and why I've been feeling dizzy. He did an ultrasound. There were two heartbeats."

"Doesn't that mean yours and the baby's?" He frowned.

She laughed. "Two in the womb, Robin. I heard them and it was like nothing I've ever heard." His face was so focused and so serious, she wanted to smile. "Did I shock you?"

For a moment, her own heart pounded when she saw him look scared. Genuinely scared. Then a slow grin spread across his face and he shook his head. "Regina, you kill me. Are you shitting me? Is this some kind of joke to get me?"

"It's not a joke," she whispered. "There's a wrapped picture of the ultrasound on my bed," she said. "I was going to give it to you after we got back."

He used his arms to get up without crushing her and ran his hands through his hair in a jerky gesture. His face paled a little. "Twins don't run in my family that I know of." His voice was still too uneven. His breath too unsteady.

"My great-great-grandmother was a twin," she said absently. She remembered seeing pictures of her family in her father's den. Never having met them, she could only go by the stories she was told. Sitting up, she touched his shoulder. "I know, it's a bit scary."

"Yea, you can say that again." She frowned when she saw how spooked he was. It had been a shock to her when the doctor had announced it as if she'd already known. Then, she'd nearly passed out and he'd had to backtrack and gently tell her what to expect.

When the silence between them had become strained and tense, she sat up and put her shoes back on. "What are you doing?" Rob's eyes followed her as she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"I'm thirsty," she said with a small voice. When she stood with her back to him and drank, she took a deep breath. Maybe she should've waited to tell him. He wasn't taking it very well, she mused. When her insecurities almost got the best of her, she felt him behind her. His hand rested on her waist and the other reached up and brushed her hair away from her neck. His lips gently pressed at the base and her body relaxed instantly.

Closing her eyes, she waited for him to say something. Only, he didn't. He simply turned her around and looked down at her face. A small smile played on his lips and his eyes dreamily stared into hers. Feeling shaken, she was surprised when his hands gently cradled her face in his big hands.

His thumbs, rough from his work, stroked over her skin. Then, he lowered his head until his lips softly pressed against hers. It was tender and slow; her arms came around his torso to hold on. When he lifted his head, he grinned. "You never fail to surprise me," he said softly.

"I think I was more surprised than you were." She swallowed. "Roland was a handful by himself, I'm not sure how it's gonna be with two of them," she said honestly terrified.

His arms came around her and hugged her to him. "When you had Roland, you were on your own. This time you have me, my parents, and Maggie and David." He paused. "Three babies," he shook his head in awe. "I think I'm a little shocked still."

Resting her head against his chest, she mumbled, "I'm scared."

His arms tightened slightly to soothe. "I'm right there with you, darlin'." Then he erupted in laughter. Confused, she lifted her head. "I'm glad you didn't hand me that picture and watch me fumble."

Her lips curved until she was grinning with him. "It's still on the bed," she reminded him. "Rob?" Her voice suddenly serious caught his attention.

"Yea?" He looked into her eyes and she felt like she was his whole world at that moment. His lips curved and his nose brushed hers.

Taking a deep breath and gaining all the courage she could muster, she said, "I'd love it if you moved into the house with us."

He smiled. "I wasn't gonna give you a choice." He kissed her. "This cabin is too lonely without you in it." He glanced around. "And it's too quiet without Roland rambling on around me."

Regina laughed. "He does talk too much."

"No," he shook his head. "He talks just the right amount He's smart and funny and I can't imagine my days without hearing his voice." He tugged her hair playfully. "Or seeing you wake up in the morning all fresh and gorgeous."

Blushing, she turned her head, but his hand caught her chin and brought her back to face him. "I like seeing you first thing in the morning," he said softly. "When your eyes are all groggy and not yet focused." He grinned. "It's the same look you get right before you come." His voice turned gruff.

She slapped his chest, "Robin."

His chest shook with his chuckle, "What? Embarrassed?"

"No," she said not telling the absolute truth. Her cheeks were flaming, and he just kept grinning.

His hands caressed her back and moved down to her hips, moved slowly over her ass, and tucked her against him. Her breath caught when she felt him hard and in the right spot. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back as a wave of arousal overtook her. "Mmm," he mumbled as his lips nibbled along her jaw.

Her hold tightened around him as he took hold of the back of her thighs and hoisted her up. She gasped as he took slow measured steps toward the bedroom. "Roland is waiting for us," she protested.

When he laid her on the bed and climbed on top of her, he said, "He's probably still playing with those nerf guns." She opened her mouth to protest but it caught in her throat when his mouth latched onto her neck where her pulse beat wildly.

Her body responded immediately and strongly to his soft caresses and deliciously hot mouth moving over her. Sex had always been a punishment, a job, a time for her to escape. With Rob, it was an exploration, a revelation, and a time for discovery.

He never failed to make her heart pound, her mind to muddle, and her body to sing. His touch was confident but gentle. His mouth was hot and seeking. When he lifted his head and took her mouth, she opened for him. Opened her body, her mind, and her heart to what he offered.

She yielded as she never had. Gave more when he offered and took more when he didn't. The heat of his body surrounded her like the love she felt surrounded her heart. He was being slow and thorough. When he undressed her, it wasn't hurried as it had been.

The zipper slid down her hip with exquisite slowness and his fingers brushed her skin so softly, she barely felt them. His kisses were soft and tender. He was so tender it brought tears to her eyes. When she was naked, she barely recalled his clothes being removed.

He kissed her deeply and shifted their bodies to cover them knowing the room was cold. The heat of the fire in the living room didn't reach where they lay. The softness of the blankets added more sensations to her skin. Then his mouth was at her ear whispering, "I love you, darlin'."

Her hands were full of the skin at his back feeling the warmth. The heat of him. "I love you, too," she breathed.

He made a humming sound in the back of his throat as he slowly slipping inside of her. Then, she felt nothing but delicious slowness as they rocked and held each other. They didn't hurry to release or try and make the other crazy.

It was soft and sweet and for the first time, Regina let the emotions swarming inside of her sweep in. As tears feel down her cheeks, Robin kissed them away. He held her and whispered lovingly in her ear. Endearments, promises, and love. She felt so consumed by this moment that her climax surprised her when it wasn't a shock wave but more of a subtle high.

Instead of the exhilarating feeling it normally brought her, it was a swell of pleasure so bright it overtook her. She sighed heavily as he continued his slow assault. He didn't break rhythm even when she clenched around him and saw the pleasure spark into his eyes.

He brought her to him and took her mouth so deeply as his hips rolled so slowly. It was drugging and overwhelming, she nearly burst into tears. Her body was hot and tingly and used. Robin showed no signs of speeding up or changing his movements.

"Oh, god," she felt her body tightening again and couldn't stop herself from allowing it to overtake her. Her body began to burn hot as the wave rolled in and swept her away. Still, he didn't stop or take the release she knew he must be begging to meet.

"Again," he said softly. His hands moved down to her hips and helped her roll with him when she was too exhausted to keep up. "Come on, darlin'." His hips rolled just a little faster and the burn slid into her veins. Weak and sated, she let the last wave roll through her as her whole body tightened.

Just then, she felt his body tighten and finally give in to the pleasure wrecking his body. He grunted endearments in her ear she couldn't understand but her pleasure was still raking her body, she was too distracted to hear or care what came out of his mouth.

When his body slumped down next to her and brought her into his warm welcoming arms, she sunk and closed her eyes. His lips touched her hair, her temple, her nose, and rested on her lips. They lay in silence for a bit until she said, "If we didn't have those puppies in the kitchen at home, it would be so easy to fall asleep right here."

He hummed. "I'd rather sleep in our bed with you wrapped around me." To prove it, he shifted and took her into his arms. Foreheads pressed together, he said, "Let's go get Roland and go home." She smiled at the word 'home.' "I'll pack a bag and we can wake up tomorrow just like this." His leg slid between hers suggestively.

"I don't know how I feel about being this naked with Roland in the next room. You never know when he might open the door." She snuggled under his chin and pressed her lips to his neck.

"That's what locks are for," he said breathily. Her lips continued to taste, and he took her shoulders and pulled her away from him. "If you keep doing that, we'll never leave this bed." He kissed the tip of her nose and sat up. He looked unsure for a moment. "Are you okay if I stay tonight? I'm not pushing you?"

The fact that he looked worried and that he asked warmed her heart. He was taking her needs seriously and it touched her deeply. Sitting up, she touched his heart and leaned in for a kiss. His eyes searched hers. "You're not pushing me. I want you to stay." She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her close. "I want you."

He buried his face at the curve of her shoulder and inhaled deeply. "If I do anything to push or take away your independence, you have to promise to tell me. No hesitating and sparing my feelings." He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "Okay?"

"I promise." He kissed her one last time before they got up and dressed. The collected Roland said their goodbye's, and drove carefully through the snow to the house she would call theirs. Robin held her hand the entire way and Roland fell asleep in the back cab.

When they pulled up in front of the house, Rob squeezed her hand. "What?"

"There's something on the door," he said. "Wait here." She watched him get out and pull a large white folder from in between the screen. He looked down at it form the lights still eliminating from the truck that he hadn't turned off yet. Walking to her door, he opened it. "It's for you."

Frowning, she noted there was no return address. "Let's take it inside." Ron unlocked the door and she set to turn on lights. Rob carried Roland up the stairs and put him in bed. When he came back down, she was sitting on the couch with the envelope in her lap.

He set the fire and sat beside her. "Open it."

As she did, a single piece of paper was inside. She began to read, and tears gathered in her eyes.

_My dearest Regina,_

_I write this letter knowing that my time is limited on this earth. I know that with each passing day, the sickness takes me away. It takes my mind and my memories. But I wanted to keep the memories of us intact. You were such a bright child so full of life and determination. I know that your life will be grand and the child you carry will fill that life and make it full. I've instructed your mother to give you this letter when you've opened your heart to the man you belong with. I know you are young, my sweet girl. Life is never easy, and the heart breaks and it bends. But don't forget that it also heals. I hope you open your heart to the man that you've always kept deep inside. I suspect that boy will always keep you in his. I hope he shows you that you are more than you could ever see for yourself. Your mother damaged that piece of you that is bright and open. Her words made you doubt, and it made you close the best thing about you. Your big heart. Keep it open and know that mine was full of you. Only you. I'll miss you, my sweet daughter. I hope to see you again in another life. Until then, fill your heart with all that is good. Fill it with love and surround yourself with people who will take care of it._

_All my love,_

_Your father._

Tears fell down Regina's face and her heart filled with so much love it burst open. Rob held her tightly as he took the letter and read her father's words. She sobbed softly into his chest. Her father had been gone for years, but the pain of his loss was still so close to the surface.

It was there when something reminded her of him. When it reminded her that he wasn't around and that he wouldn't be there to see Roland. Another rush of sadness hit her when she thought of the babies she carried now. How he wouldn't be there to see them grow.

When Rob put the letter on the table, he gathered her up into his arms and held on tightly. He held on to her and she felt he was the only thing keeping her together. "Your father sounded like a great man."

"He was," she sobbed.

"Regina, you had the best years with him, and I know he'd be proud of you. Proud of the woman you are and the life that you'll lead."

A sense of doubt pierced through her. "He would be ashamed of what I let happen to me. He would be shamed," she cried.

Rob took her arms strongly in his and lifted her to meet his eyes. "Don't you say that." His voice was stern, and it snapped her into attention. "Don't you ever say that." He shook her slightly. "Your father would be proud of you no matter what. What happened to you is the past. It wasn't your choice."

"Yes, it was," she argued with a wobbly voice.

"Regina," he said looking like he was trying to control himself. "What I'm about to say is what I've been holding back. I'm not doing it anymore." She waited for him to say what it was he was going to say. Her heart pounded and her mind filled with worry.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Jaden O'Malley raped you." It came out so roughly, she felt the emotion in the way he held her. The way his eyes turned dangerously violent. "He raped you and the men he brought into his home raped you. It wasn't your choice."

She couldn't speak. Didn't dare.

"Those men got what they deserved, and I'll be damned if you let them win. You are strong and I know that deep down you know I'm right. It wasn't your fault; you didn't ask for it. You survived it and you did it while raising our son. While working a job that was demanding and took all your time. You survived it with grace and with dignity."

His breathing slowed and his tight grip loosened. "You are not the woman you think you are. Your father is right about that. You're strong and resilient and I love you. I will do whatever I can for you to feel how worthy you truly are. Do you hear me?"

She nodded. He reached up and wiped her tears. "Let me in," he demanded. "Let me carry some of the burden and let me help you. Because until you truly let go and give me some of it, it'll be hanging over us like a cloud. I don't want the storm to sweep us away."

"I don't either," she said shakily.

"We'll talk. I'll listen and you'll let me in all the way. In here," he covered her heart with his hand. "I just want this," he said. "I want to occupy that heart your father said was open. Open it for me and I'll give you the world. I'll give you whatever it is you desire. I want to give you everything."

Tears slid down her cheeks. "I just want you," she whispered.

"You have me. All of me," and he kissed her long and deep and possessive. When he released her, he picked her up and carried her upstairs to their bedroom. Thiers, she mused. He undressed her, helped her into her nightgown, and slid into bed with her.

He held her and when she was close to slipping into sleep, she heard him say, "Merry Christmas, Regina. I love you." Her lips curved into a smile as sleep dragged her under and her heart opened a little more.


End file.
